I m disabled.Help me with my love prom?

Question

i gotta polyneuritis at 2.I can walk freely n've no prom operating computers n writing. i m indian, 22.So far i've achieved everything a normal guy achieves.I've a beautiful cousin, 18.She visits my place as 'caretaker'(if my parents r away.)i m moved by care she takes of me. i've loved her as a sis till now.my prom from some days is i've started fearing of losing her! i want 2 make her my valentine! She loves me i know but like a brother.on other side there's guilty in my mind that i m looking my own sis in such a way.m i wrong or right?will she sacrifice(i think she has a boyfriend..he's a real crap!!!)?if not how can i get out of this?

Answer 1

This is a very delicate problem that i can see from what you've written down. Psychologists call your behaviour what Anna Frued called them Defence mechanism. And i can see that you are using one of them that is transference. It is when you see soemthing in the other person...something that you want to see. Like you see a sister in your cousin and more from that you see your valentine in your cousin,,,,a woman that you love and wanna live with her all your life and this is not right. You have to free your mind from these feelings and you have to accept that she is only being friendly because she's a cousin and not a sister or a lover, she's a friend more then that. Accept it and things will get more better...your love will be not for one person but for many.

Answer 2

I'm not sure what the etiquette is in India, but in the U.S. it is frowned upon to be romantically involved with your cousin. I know it will hurt at first, but you should move on and find a new love interest.

Answer 3

She's your cousin... you can't have her. You wouldn't want to be condemned by your own family. You wouldn't want to have kids that look like freaks. And in fact she has a boyfriend. That means, she can't take you as a lover. Do not perceive her tenderness to you wrong. Think about it.