Cheating Husband?

Question

Here's the deal...I have a friend who has 3 kids and her husband's a JERK. You can barely even call him a father. He leaves her alone ALL OF THE TIME and leaves for various 'trips' with his buddies. Most of the time he leaves all weekend and he doesn't even tell her when he's leaving until he's walking out of the door. He won't even tell her where he's going but the worst part is that she doesn't even ask. I think he's cheating on her, but she seems blissfully ignorant and depressed. What irritates me the MOST is that she has this attitude like all husbands are good for nothing and CRITICIZES other guys when she is openly IGNORING HER OWN HUSBAND'S ANTICS. I don't feel it's my place to say anything, especially if she hasn't even asked my opinion, but I also can't stand listening to her discuss other people's relationships when her's is obviously HORRIBLE. It's like she's making her situation seem better by making everyone else's sound just as bad or worse...What should I do?

Answer 1

If your friend is depressed, she's probably suspicious of her husband. As for criticizing others, it's probably a coping mechanism--she doesn't want to think that other people are happy and their husbands are good ones. She's got more than a husband to think of with her three kids, so she probably feels trapped. If you can't bear to be around her, please find another friend--but I'm guessing she needs all the friends she can get.

Answer 2

Cheating Husband?

Answer 3

Tell Ur friend to regain her self-respect, and her confidence and kick this loser to the curb. He's NO TYPE of example for her kids and she really does need to think about them most of all. People say U cant pick and choose Ur family, well these kids didn't ask for or deserve this and neither does Ur friend.
It wont be easy but take it from someone who's been there and done that...WALK AWAY.......
Tell her to stop worring about EVERYONE else life and handle her own situation @ home, and stop being denial. There will ALWAYS be someone who has it worse than U, just B thankful for what U do have and NEVER take that for granted (I'm talking about her kids)
Tell her:
Life is to short U deserve to be happy and Ur kids need to see that mom can handle her S**T and do all by herself that she has strength she never knew she had, but that when the chips were down, momma stood on her own and she could handle anything.
As long as Ur friend has a friend like U and her kids, well thats love and support that U couldnt possibly put a price on.....
It's time to move on.....

Answer 4

Nothing but trying to supporting her if she is really your friend.
Are you sure she is not victim of violence at home?
Usually when this happens the victim tends to neglect her misery looking even surprised while confronting her with the fact that she should better pay attention to her own situation.
If she comes to you once and ask for help, then do not involve yourself personally between the couple, but recommend and if possible go with your friend to a consultancy with experts in this matter.
In case of obvious physical abuse, try to convince her to go ASAP to a hospital in order to have a report of what is going on besides receiving the necessary treatment.
Do not forget that psychological violence goes further and further till the self confidence of the victim is so undermined that they believe there is no way out in their situation. Starts seeming normal.
Neglecting or ignoring is certainly a form of psychological violence that can be investigated every time your friend gets strong enough as to defend herself and her kids.
In any case, a difficult situation for you. Sometimes what we can not change we have to let it go.

Answer 5

Misery love company that is why she talks so much about others and their problems it makes her feel a little better about her situation the best you can do for her and just listen, I WOULD'nt even gossip with her I will let her run out things to say, she is apparently running from her problems and instead of facing. she has a fear of loosing her absent husband, she is holding on for some reason. she need to look at her situation, stop ignoring and running from it and face it then, work on it.

she is in Denial.

Answer 6

Well, you nailed it. She is making herself feel better by assuring herself that her's is not the worst relationship in the world. There isn't a whole lot you can do without getting nasty about it. Just ride it out or detach yourself from the situation. When she starts talking about others relationships, just change the subject. If she asks you why, just try to be gently, and not accusing!

Answer 7

Stay far from her, never give advices she never asked> Sometimes we want to cover our eyes not to deal with reality> If you're a really good friend, show evidence but it's up to her take a decision.

Answer 8

do nothing. if you can't prove he is cheating, do nothing.thinking and knowing are two very different things.
it's not your place. sorry, but that's the truth. you're just going to piss her off and make her hate you if you tell her what to do in her relationship. i know, i've been there.
just be her friend and tell her if she needs you, you'll be there for her. if you are her friend, that is.

Answer 9

This is something she will have to deal with.It is apparent that you are a good friend to her.Just be there when she needs you.I know it is frustrating but we cant always fix other peoples relationships.Believe me i have been right where you are now.If you are to stay her friend be honest with her about how you are feeling when the time is right.Good Luck.

Answer 10

Its time to drop her as a friend. If this really bothers you enough just stop hanging out with her so much. Some really good relationships can turn toxic fast and it sounds as though this one has.