My wife wants a baby, how do I get her mind off getting pregnant?

Question

We have been together for 5 years. She is 23 and I am 25.

She told me about 6 months ago that she really wanted to start trying for a baby.

I told her that we can start trying to conceive next year because our house will be paid off then.

We will have $0 debt next year and I wan't to be 100% financially stable when she gets pregnant.

With no mortgage payment we will have $2400 a month for a baby, retirement, college savings, etc.

She agreed to wait, but I can tell she is upset.

She talks about babies a lot and I get the vibe that her feelings are hurt that we will be together for 6-7 years before she is even pregnant.

To make it worse, her friend just got pregnant by her boyfriend of a year.

What do I do to comfort her?

What can I do to get her mind off of a baby until next year?

I am going to give her a baby, its just not the right time now.

We already have a dog. We bought him 2.5 years ago, and she loves him like her "baby".

Answer 1

Let her start buying things for a baby now.. tell her to start working on a nursery.. buying things that could go both for boy or girl babies.. if u only waiting a year to definately start trying then thats not to long.. so try to talk her into slowly buying what u'll be needing for a baby now so that the cost of all at once wont affect you later, that will let her get excited and start buying things now .. Call it the "BABY PROJECT" let her start picking out stuff for the nursery, painting the room, decorating it.. setting up a crib, buying stuffed animals, buying clothes that could go for a boy or a girl.. ect.. have her focus more on getting ready for baby.. then actually having the baby.. that way it takes awhile to get all u need, ur getting ur end done, and its not a huge cost for the baby stuff all at once either..

Answer 2

Once a woman gets a baby on the brain there's virtually no way to get her mind off it. Just be sensitive to her feelings and be patient with her. Everything you're saying makes great sense but you cannot over-rule the Almighty Biological Clock. So when she starts talking baby, turn it into a whole planning thing. Let her express all her ideas and feelings without constantly reminding her that you guys are on a time table. You could be planning out what you'll need and how you'll decorate and everything. That way she feels supported and reassured that the baby thing is going to happen and you don't have to feel like an insensitive jerk. Good luck to you both!

Answer 3

Just go along with her and let her get preg. As a women going through the same thing, I would be so crushed if my husband told me no. He was hesitant about it at first and we don't even have a house yet! But there was just something inside of me that was telling me, now is the time. A very very strong feeling, and none of my friends have babies. Women have intuitions about this sort of thing. You are never going to have the right time, and you will continue to put it off until this or that is done. Just go ahead and let her get pregnant. Remember that it takes 9 months of baking for that baby to come out! you will be close to having the house payed off. And it is hard to get preg, not as easy as you think, if she is on the pill it can take up to 6 months for her to get preg. Start trying now! I am so much happier now that my Husband agreed to trying. It is so fun that he is interested in it too. I love reading new articles about it with him and its sooooo fun trying!!!!! If you are really scared of the entire thing word it like my husband and I do, "we just stoped trying not to have a baby". That way it is laid back, no pressure and we aren't taking temps or doing anything else yet.

Answer 4

You don't.....whatever you do it will not take her mind off of wanting a baby. Most pregnancies are not planned, most are accidental, and people deal with it. It seems as though you're thinking of yourself and what you want and not her. You'll be just fine...you're life wont be ruined if you have a baby before YOU want to, his/her future wont be at risk because you didnt have a planned pregnancy or you didnt wait until your house paid off....? How many people do you know that don't have children and a mortgage?Are you going to make her wait until your vehicles are paid off too? Does this mean that you'll never own another home again in your lives? Never have another mortgage again? You're both young...so this probably won't be your last home. Are you poor? It's just a part of life...let her have a child before she takes it out on you and gets mad. She is the one having the baby, not you, you're telling her what she can do with her body and when. I am 24 yrs old, we're not married yet, and we've known eachother for 9 years,we've dated before and have been back together now for over a year...not a long time i know,but we've been friends even when we wernt dating,have never lost contact..he now says that he wants to wait 4 more years to even get married,he's 27.When I heard that I basically said "hell no", i will leave before i do that, i love him but i'll be damned if i wait until i'm 30 yrs old when i have my child, he can make babies for as long as he wants, women cant have them forever. It's hurting me and I'm starting to hate him for it, i can totally build another relationship and have a child before he wants one.
You need to start listening to her,but she is young yet, it's what all young women want, so make sure its because she wants to start building a family with you and not because she wants something to play with, i have a 4 yr old and having a child is the biggest responsibility you guys will ever have,and the only thing that will matter in life,it's not all fun and games and definatly not all a fairy tale, it will be everything but perfect.
Talk to her and ask her if she truely wants a child because she loves you and wants a child with you, and that she knows what it takes to take care of and raise a child. Yeah she's a woman and all us women think we know all about children and babies....NOT, you will both learn something new everyday, there will be things you dont know and will end up calling the pediatrician on. Sit down and talk, listen to her, if you try for a baby now you're not going to even have the child until next year, if she's on birth control it's going to be atleast 5 months or so until you get pregnant. A woman is pregnant for almost a year....do you know what torture that is to wait that long to see your baby? Talk and actually listen to her, stop talking about your mortgage...

Answer 5

Having a baby is what women do, by you telling her she has to wait when she's so ready is torture. One should never plan for the right time since it usually never happens. What if in that time your car blows up and you need to buy a new one....is that going to put more time on the wait until that is paid for? And also remember, it takes 9 months to have a baby.....if you started now, by the time the little one arrives, it WILL be next year!

Answer 6

unforunately this is a classic case of male logic and female desire. What you say makes all the sense in the world, but all she knows is that she wants to have a baby. It becomes an even stronger desire now that her friend is now pregnant. It's an added pressure that men tend not to get.

First thing you can do... reassure her that having a baby is as important to you as it is to her. Make sure she knows that you are truly committed to having a baby with her but do not say but now is not the right time. A woman wants to hear that the potential father of her child wants to have a baby as much as she does and there is nothing more important in the world to him.

Second, would you be adverse to trying to start the get pregnant process now? Even if she was to get pregnant immediately, you still have 9 months to get all your finances in order. Just something to think about.

Answer 7

We have two babies, 1 and 3, and believe me, we lot them allot and there is nothing greater that could happen to you that having your children, but....

1) To start, you both should sit and make some pretending budget: Just go to any mall first with a list for real, both of you, and check out how EXPENSIVE babies are, not only furniture, toys and stuff, like clothing and diapering (we spend about $100 A MONTH only in disposable diapers and wipes for both!!!!) plus the food, etc... If it doesn't convince her of waiting a little,

2) Go out a couple of times with friends who have small children or babies, so you will check out how much your life will change in overall.

Answer 8

Good luck, there is NOTHING you can do to get her mind off it. Realize something, there is no way that you'll be ready no matter how long you prepare, you just won't be. Babies change your life forever, not in a bad way but in a very,very big way. Tell her your not ready to share her just yet, you would like some time to be selfish and have her just for yourself before you start a family. Don't make it a money issue, women don't think that way. Then do it because believe me, I wish I had done that. I might not be getting divorced right now if we had payed just a little more attention to eachother before we had our boys. Good luck!

Answer 9

If your house will be paid off next year whats the problem? Last time i checked it takes 9 months for the baby to be born.

And SSH is right more often than not it takes a more than a couple months of trying to get the job done!!

Answer 10

You can start for the Baby now as it take 9 months from conceiving to childbirth. By then the mortagage will be over. I must congratulate you for clearing your debt so soon at 25 / 26. good luck dad!