I was just on my Dad's laptop, and I saw that he not only had pornography in his history, but he was also looking at escourts in Dallas, Texas. This was where he went for his last business trip! Should I tell my Mother, or perhaps a loved one? I don't want this to lead to my parents having a devorce!
Thanks,
Joe M
2006-08-14 06:46:57 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
He was also looking at a local strip joint
2006-08-14 07:23:41 · update #1
Id tell your dad what you found and ask him about it. Maybe there is a logical explanation for it--
2006-08-14 06:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.♥ Krasinski 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The porn isn't bad practally all men look at it some women are bothered by it but some aren't. And about the Dallas, Texas escourt thing well if you think that your dad might be cheating or something like that then I think that best thing to do would to either tell your mom or a loved one. Because if he is cheating then your mom really does need to know cause she's gonna find out sooner or later.
2006-08-14 06:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by helendear 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two things about the truth.
1) The truth always comes out,
2) The truth shall set you free.
Your dad cannot be happy with his behavior.
If he left evidence for you, his child, to find it sounds like he is screaming for help.
If he continues in this behavior he could end up not only getting a serious sexually transmitted disease - he could end up giving it to your mom.
Herpes while not deadly is extremely painfull.
Sypholisis can spread into your brain if not recognized and treated.
AIDS is still very much out there and still very much a killer.
These are just to name a few.
You may want to sit down with an adult you and your mom trust (an aunt or uncle) and ask them to help you plan your approach.
You do not want to go into this without a plan of gentleness.
Also, your mom is going to need some support during this time, and it is not good for her to lean on you for all of it. Just as you have friends who will help you out during this, she needs one too.
Caution - I would not tell a bunch of people about this.
Your mom and dad may decide that this is a problem that they can work through with counseling.
It is up to them to let that knowledge out, who they can trust with the informaion or who could use it to hurt.
You are in a tough situation - your mom will feel betrayed when she finds out - but at least she won't feel betrayed by you too for keeping your dad's secrets.
If you keep this secret - it will eat you up inside.
You will start looking at your dad with distrust and disgust.
You will start avoiding your mom because you don't want to give away dad's secret.
You mom will ask you an innocent question, but because you have secrets you will snap at her thinking she is trying to pry information out of you.
You will withdraw, and your mom will be more alone then ever.
Your house will become so dsyfunctional that you will no longer recognize it for the safe haven that it is now, and will become a place to avoid.
She does not deserve that, and frankly neither do you.
If your parents seek marriage counseling and stay together, that is their decision.
If they get divorced, that is their decision too.
It is NOT YOUR FAULT that your dad has done this.
He is responsible for his own actions.
Just as you are responsible for yours.
You can choose to live a life of secrets and lies or you can live a life of truth.
I'll be praying for you and your family.
2006-08-14 07:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by Freeadviceisworthwhatyoupayfor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad and tell him that if he wont tell your Mom that you will. That is risky behavior! I mean what if he gives your Mom HIV or something???? Not cool at all. I am sorry you stumble in on this info. Is there anyone else that you can talk to about this and help you out like an adult friend, family that would intervene on your behalf? Does your Mom have a super tight close friend you can confide in? Someone that would have her best interest at heart. Chances are if he is that deep into it your mom has suspicions anyhow. You poor thing!! This is a pretty tough thing to handle. Too much for you to handle alone! Maybe your dad just needs help for a sexual addiction...and he can repair his marriage but your mom is in danger...
2006-08-14 06:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dominika 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Joe,
If you had permission to be using your dad's laptop, I would privately ask your dad about it.
Whatever you do, be courageous enough to tell your dad your concerns as well as your fears.
Then shut up and let him do the talking.
If he asks you to keep this from your mom, you can agree to do it but ONLY if it NEVER happens again. Tell him if you have any future suspicions or indications, you WILL tell you mom and then do so.
2006-08-14 07:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by pamspraises 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell someone in the family (an adult) that you really trust. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. As for the porn, most grown men look at porn. Whether its right or not is subjective, but to save your dad any further embarressment, I would just let the porn thing go.
2006-08-14 07:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT confront your dad, that may cause a lot of problems between the tow of you. Him looking at porn and strip clubs has nothing to do with you. I would talk to your mom about it, from there she can check the history herself and confront him leaving you out of it.
2006-08-14 07:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by Steph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't confront your dad because he may be very angry that you were "snooping" on his laptop. Don't jump to conclusions - it could be a misunderstanding, like a friend or other family member using his laptop. But in case he has been unfaithful.... maybe you could arrange for your mother to "find" the evidence herself. It will be much better for you if you're not directly involved. If you need to talk to someone it would be best to go to your pastor or a trusted adult friend for advice. Good luck!
2006-08-14 06:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by Elle 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes tell your Mother. She has a right to know. If you love her as much as I think you do then tell her. I know it's going to be hard facing your father,but what needs done is the right thing. You are a bigger man than your father is, support your Mom. Lots of Love to you.
2006-08-14 06:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by GERRI B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your grandma and grandpa from your dads side (preferably your grandpa). If by some chance you can't get his parents then tell your mom. It's better for your mom to find out now than finding out when he gets back.
2006-08-14 06:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by Magic Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anything speak to you dad. But understand he will probably be defensive about this and tell you to mind your own business. You do not want to be "confrontational" or make wild accusations.
2006-08-14 06:55:16 · answer #11 · answered by B R 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋