My husband is in the military and we are about to start a long distance marriage. We will be able to see one another on the weekends and we will be living about 4 hours (one way) apart from one another during the week. We have two dogs who will be staying with me. We've been married for about 8 months and together for almost 2 1/2 years. He is my best friend and our relationship and marriage is truly everything I could have hoped for and more.
We both bought laptops and webcams so we can 'see' one another pretty much whenever we want. But I'm sure that it will still be stressful. However, we are optimistic and believe our relationship is strong enough to sustain the time that we spend apart.
I guess what I want to know is how other people have coped with this and what are some ways that you can keep the marriage relevant and still maintain good communication with one another.
Any tips would be great. THANKS!
2006-08-14 06:13:52 · 13 answers · asked by carpenterjs16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
U have analysed in a matured way abt yr relationship. That itself is the first step.
2. Keep communication open at all times. No sulking.
3. Trust each other. Dont have doubts.
4. Have some good friends. Develop some hobbies.
5. Try to meet up when u can.
6. When u meet, make the best of it.
7. Thank God that u are able to meet on weekends. Think of those who cant meet for months on end - husbands who are serving overseas for example.
8. Look to the future. U might be staying together then.
Best of luck.
2006-08-14 06:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're on the right track. Communication is the key whether you are close or far. Share as much as you can every day so that you each won't wonder what the other is up to.
The weekends together might be difficult as some point. The problem is that you will have limited time together. So, when you are together, there will be a lot of pressure to make that time wonderful. Thus, you will be reluctant to disagree or even argue when you are together. You have to treat the weekends like you would if you were together 24/7. Love, talk, make love, disagree, argue if needed.
2006-08-14 06:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you live on post with him, anyway? How long will this separation be for anyway? It's only 4 hours, so you can see each other often. Is he giving you a BAH (living expense allowance)? I could understand why you wouldn't live together if he were deployed or something, but if he's here, why can't you live with him? He would be allowed family housing at no cost.....
Webcams are great so you can see each other. Continue to keep each other posted with how your days go, and share your feelings (the ones that you don't tell anyone else about) and your deep dark secret fears, doubts, insecurities.....keep that intimacy going......
Do not become suspiscious or lose trust. Keep appreciating each other and choosing each other, above all others. Keep flirting and pursuing each other.
Take care!
2006-08-14 06:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your connection thru the phone, computer and webcam is great idea ..... however, I would seriously be looking into making the four hour gap ALOT smaller . . . you are still newlyweds and should be spending as much together as you can . . . if you can't get on base with him, there has to be something right outside of the base that you can rent . . . I would look into it . . . if that isn't an option, speak daily and make the weekends the best possible that you can . . . I think after a while the four hour drive is gonna be a pain and would SERIOUSLY consider moving closer
2006-08-14 06:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your husband is in the Military, whether or not you'll like the term I'm going to use - it all depends on your acceptance and understanding, you are considered secondary because your husband was first married to his service and you must bear that fact. You'll stay relevant when you can ensure your husband that you will always be reasonable and predictable at all times in all places (flexibility), be sensitive to his undertakings, do not be an additional burden to his thoughts so as to contribute pressures on his assign tasks because his achievements and/or failures will also be yours and vice versa. Events and eventualities varies at all times, do not anticipate but do not hope or expect worst things to come your husband's way so as not to make you feel like a paranoid. Learn to control the greatest and common fear of married women, THIRD PARTY. C'mon girl, the longer you knew your husband, the better. I am not trying to insinuate anything but rather I am trying to make you, women, realize that any misbehavior acts of man reflects discontentment that resulted from failed expectations. Be pure, be unique and be consistent. My Dad was an Army, he never had any other family nor children to any woman. THAT I CAN PROUDLY SAY because if he (my Dad) have had any other family that we do not know, I would probably known it. My Dad died 3 years ago and no other claimant has filed share of their claims until now.
2006-08-14 06:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by Bully Charmer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I went through the same thing for a whole year we had only been married for 3yrs and the previous year he was in Korea for one year. He just came from a one year stay in iraq and then he got out of the military. It was very hard not being able to see one another. There are going to be some good times and some bad times by your hubby being gone but you just keep busy and stay focused on good things and ask the Lord to help you through this trying time and some other ideas to help time go by is to set goals that you've always wanted to accomplish for example:loose weight
:get a make over
:make over your home or a room in your house
:work on yourself/mind
:stay positive
Those are just a few things that I did to help my marriage while hubby was away. Just make your hubby feel like everthing is tooken care of at home so he does'nt have to worry about home or what you can or can't handle and keep in contact with letters,cards,pictures and the kinky webcam sessions,if you know what I mean. Just try to stay positive and take care of yourself and your household on your own and if you really need help then you tell him that you need his input on the situation. He probably does'nt want to leave, let alone leaving everything for you to take care of. So to make a good conversation or letter or webcam visit pleasant, spare him the details about things that could worry him especialy things he can't do anything about. If you can handle the situation just tell him that everthing is okay at home and that you love him and miss him, and that will put his heart at ease. Just put all the pain and worries to the side and enjoy his calls or his letters ect...... Letting your husband know that you have his back and you can take care of business makes him really feel like his wife loves him and would do anything for him and that would make his time away easier and all of those things can make the heart grow fonder.Some of those things I did'nt do in the beginning when my hubby left but as I started to do those things our marriage grew for the better and he and I had pleasant conversations most of the time and My husband and I love one another even more. The Lord is just testing you he wants you to trust and believe and ask him to be with you through good times or bad.I know this will be hard for you but the Lord will see you through. Your marriage will be fine, Just ask the Lord to keep you and your husband strong and prayerful and keep the love in your marriage.
2006-08-14 07:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by fruitstream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this would be a topic this is warned approximately by utilising Paul and others contained in the recent Testement approximately "fake instructors". first of all you're illegally married as he's married to the 1st spouse and not divorced. So he's committing adultery with you and likewise bigamy which could land him in penal complex. he's preaching yet no longer a training Christian and the church would desire to be stripping him of being a preacher. they ought to learn of what he's doing. Its no longer in hassle-free terms morally incorrect, its Biblically incorrect and its legally incorrect. You technically at the instant are not married to this guy. the two one in all you would be in situation. You had greater proper communicate to a criminal expert approximately what's going to happen.
2016-09-29 06:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you pointed yourself to be optimistic and thats your answer,i think you are wise enough to manage and with a web cam its a luxury where many people like me use only telephone lines to keep in touch with loved ones.if you trust your love then its not gonna be a problem and the feeling of meeting after a long interval of separation is something difficult to define and its what you experience
2006-08-14 06:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by ajay s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a curious case. Why don't you try to move closer to his work place. I think that would be easier than this webcamming and weekending. Pls think over it and act fast.
All the best...
2006-08-14 06:22:05 · answer #9 · answered by skr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Email, phone calls and letters. Handwritten letters are always welcomed and are very special when recieved.
Don't be afraid to try phone sex and internet sex to keep everything alive and great. Don't worry alot of people do it and know has to know. Best of luck Jenn
2006-08-14 06:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by jennifer b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋