Is is possible to be the "traditional" wife in this day and age?

Question

My husband has expressed the desire to have a traditional wife (ie: cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, etc.) I work a full time job and we have an 11-month old son that is very active. Sometimes I am too worn out to complete some of these tasks on a daily basis. This upsets him to the point where we argue. I try to explain that I am tired from working, but he doesn't view my job as being something to be tired from. (I make doctors appointments for patients over the phone) Is he being unfair or am I being lazy?

Answer 1

I think he's being unfair, but to be honest, what I think doesn't matter. The real question is, do you really want to be the traditional wife with the cooking and cleaning or not? If you do, then you have to convince yourself that you are going to do it no matter how tired you are. If he's smart enough to appreciate the enormous amount of time and effort you have to dedicate to do those things then you will not find it difficult to do and you will be quite happy. If he, on the other hand, takes all those services for granted and behaves like the traditional husband (cold, distant, unromantic, unable to show affection), then you are going to be miserable.

This is something you have to discuss with him. In relationships, the real source of sustenance for things that he expects you to do is love and affection, and if he doesn't give you enough of that, you will not be able to go on.

Answer 2

Let's see...my husband does SOME phone sales...and he says talking on the phone can be tiring..NOT to mention..the 11 month old son..I have a toddler and my 5 yr old son and he TRASH my house...Mind you I am the traditional stay at home, do EVERYTHING in the house kind of wife...and some days I just DON'T have the energy to do everything...see if there's a way to get MOST stuff done and put some off and switch every day..with certain chorse! I've actually taken digital pictures to PROVE the house was spotless BEFORE he gets home..but these boys...JUST can trash a house in under 30 seconds..... I also run a small business from home and babysit some days...

My husband was home for a few months and after being here...he says he'd NEVER switch jobs with me...EVER!!! He says my job is sometimes harder..good luck!

Answer 3

Honey, you aren't lazy. On top of taking care of all the responsibilities at home, you have a job and a child. I'd like to know what your husband does to contribute. Traditional wives can exist in this day and age, if you have a traditional marriage. Which means you get to quit your job to take on the responsibilities at home and he becomes the bread winner. But that doesn't sound like what your husband wants. It seems to me that he just wants to be the king of his castle and be waited on hand and foot without having to lift a finger. That's not a traditional marriage...it's slavery. It's not worth arguing about. You have to sit him down and lay out the facts for him. If he wants to have a traditional wife, then he needs to get a better paying job so you can stay home, and it wouldn't hurt to show a little appreciation now and then so you don't end up resenting him....which happens alot in this situation if it's not traditional in every sense of the word. If you need to work, then he needs to help out, it's just the way it goes. He's either going to learn to accept it, appreciate what he does have, or one day he's going to be standing there alone wondering what the hell happened. You sound like a really intelligent individual, who had a game plan in mind when she got married. If this isn't what you envisioned...now is the time to speak up. Compromise is the key.

Answer 4

I, too, am in your same boat! I think they are being unfair to ask this of us. If we were stay at home mom's, that would be a different story, it should be expected. Most men want a traditional wife but don't realize that times change. Wait until your son starts extra-cirricular activities. You will have to work, cook, clean, laundry, homework, and soccer, baseball, basketball. It is very challenging and my husband gets bent out of shape too if I don't get everything done.

Speaking from experience, I don't think they have a clue. You are not being lazy though!!!

Answer 5

He is being unfair. A true traditional wife wouldn't have to work outside the home to earn extra money! He knows this. All home chores should be shared as well as taking care of the child. I never ever cook and my husband is fine with it. I do clean and do the laundry, we both care for the kids and he does the cooking. We share the work at home.

Answer 6

Alot of women think this is crazy but, I truely enjoy taking care of my man. I run a full time daycare from home, have 2 kids, clean, cook 3 meals a day, do the laundry, everything. But in return my husband is very very greatful. I get lots of presents flowers etc. I think some women should definately be more attentive to thier hubby's. The main thing for you I am guessing you dont work at home. Is scheduling.

Answer 7

First of all, I feel that those days are over. Expecially with so many women out in the work force due to the high cost of living these days. I feel that a marriage should be 50/50 and both couples need to put in the load. Your husband needs to live in the now, the Leave it to Beaver days are over. He's being unfair .Does he want a wife or a housekeeper? Stick up for yourself and have him help around the House!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

very unfair, those days r long gone. the job of taking care of the kids don't end until the leave for college, really not even then does it end u still have to make sure their doing ok in classes,have money food etc... even when wife didn't work I still come home taking care of the kids cooking dishes. becuz her being @ home with them is a full time job, with out breaks and a lunch hour. ur husband needs to get his mind right and get with times.

Answer 9

When I worked my husband did nothing around the house, so I quit my job, and do all the housework cooking, cleaning, bills, shopping, any school activities w/kids, you name it. It is a full time job, no days off. So it is possible, some people can't afford this though, I had to give up things myself.

Answer 10

Yes it is still possible if that is what he desires. But if you are doing your work at home ie. making appointments over the phone, Then I see no reason why you should not work.