Married women, do you allow your husbands to go for massages by females without you being with them?

Question

I'm a free-lance therapist that have come across guys who are very secretive to their wives when they want to have a massage by other women. First thing first, I'm single, very ordinary and don't dress skimpily. These guys always asked me things like if my oil had any scent and if I provide them with shower facilities so that they could wash up immediately after the massage. Come on, I'm certified. I don't do 'special services' so why these men just don't want their spouses to know? There's obviously lack of trust between couples. Married men tend to have lost most integrity here. I know some married women also do things behind their husbands but fact is there rare more men doing than women. I'm not a sexist. I know I can just cater to females only but ladies prefer going to nig spas for more comfort. No wonder divorce rates in Singapore and other parts of the world are on the rise. Sigh...

I really appreciate all your answers. It gives me a better understanding on married men and women and how they handle things differently.

THP:
Husbands don't like being henpecked and I suppose you trust your hubby a lot. That's really very nice. But no point torturing him even if he cheats. If he really loves you, he'll definately put a stop to his philandering ways.

a_delphic_or...:
You have a very loving husband. =o)

sxybrwneyedg...:
You do have your point. Some guys naturally feel aroused when they're semi-naked. Everytime I had to emphasize that I wouldn't want to cross the boundary of my profession and although they agreed and abided, they still touched my hand in an erotic way while I massaged them. Some things are inevitable, I guess.

johnnysunshi...:
You are insulting me. Try being me to find out what I mean. You have no such experience from my angle. I'm being opinionated, not amounting to disgrace my profession. No well-trained professional wants to be taken advantage of in that manner. The only reason why you find my questions ridiculous is your lack of exposure to the real stories surrounding this industry. Welcome to the reality.

whyithastobeme:
I can identify with you, not that I'm a man, rather, my mom questions my dad all the time. Women can be so naggy. Let's just say that women don't trust their husbands like they used to in the past. Men just keep to themselves, like my dad. He just shuts up whenever my mom asks him some things. However, I don't agree with you that cheating is rarely intentional. Most men I have come across have very clear ideas of what they want to do. They are not muddle-headed.

Chrysalis70 and queenbee76700:
I understand how precious your husbands are in your eyes but no man or woman, in fact, wants to be closely kept an eye on. No privacy in their lives. Surely that's not what you want to be done to you, right?

sunset_293:
Nah, they don't answer everything you ask. At least getting answers from people like you at Yahoo! Answers gives more diverse answers. Thanks anyway.

addybme:
I agree with you that some men are like your husband but the problem is most men I've massaged on are very straight-forward by saying that they don't want their wives or anyone at home to suspect them of being unfaithful. But what is there to fear in the first place when their conscience is clear?

C M:
Your answer does make sense.

Answer 1

In our human body, there are areas known as Erotic Zones. In the comfort of the environment especially during the time of soothing music, cool room and nice massage, there is inevitably areas that you would have to touch to relax the patient muscle.

This is where the problem lies as there would be involuntary erection whether you likes it or not as a result of your skillful hands.

It is not whether we have sex with you or not. but rather men do not want their wives to know so as to avoid unnecessary question. We men are not good at questioning as the saying goes, a woman's tongue can kill a 6 foot man. so whether we likes it or not, we would crumble.

Woman are good at questioning.

1) so how is the girl.....urrr so so
2) so how is the massage .........Ok
3) so how much did you pay ............ 60 dollars
4) how come Michael did not go .......... hey when did I say he is going.
5) But i thought that you 2 are best buddies or is it his wife does not allow ................ how do I know what his wife thinks
6) shoike ??? - not bad
7 ) so which part did she touch ......... everywhere lah....a massage what do you expect.
8) did you get hard? ...........hey what are you trying to say.
9) why are you so evasive, i was nice trying to talk to you and I even allow you to go for such things and now tonight you still cannot forget her and cannot talk properly with me, if she is so good in sex, then lets break up

See these are simple questions that would cruxified a man to kingdom come.

Mature man are not afraid of not being able to control ourselves. but we are afraid of answering question when we are not at fault.

last but not least, like the world says ......I am a very safe driver and will not have accident. but can you say that for other drivers?
which means to say that can you be so sure or damm sure that one day you would not fall for some kind of man that you would have inevitably taken some fancy and allows a little more than a massage. this will unlikely to happen perhaps for a one off but how about for the next 30 session..........will there be no development of friendship ?????? even those massage polour girls would have developed good friendship even though they may not have direct sex with the client.

I had a sprain back ones and tried different massage. I even told my missus about me going to some polour and she would accompany me and waited quietly outside while i tried to get it done. she is protecting her assets

Yes the previous answer is right, cheating was very rarely intentional.

Answer 2

Ok, 1. alot of men ASSUME their wives would have a problem so instead of just being open and honest about it, they lie.. and keep it from their wives which only makes things look worse then actually being up front with them at the beginning makes it look like they are trying to hide something from them.. which if they've done this with other aspects of their lives would be the reason why their wives dont trust them in the first place..

2. Im sorry, i understand that ur a "TRAINED" professional.. and all.. but some women dont want ANY woman touching their husbands other then them.. and thats just how it is.. no room for error that way.. Cheating rarely starts out as an intentional act.. most people that have an actual AFFAIR and not a one night stand, its built on a relationship ..so although to u its innocent.. for a man to come to u for a massage..ur doing something very private and intimate (rubbing down a half naked man is intimate) ..something most wives dont want ANY girl to do with their man and could be afraid that what starts out as innocent could lead into something more..

3. And although U may not be wearing something Skimpy.. THEIR HUSBANDS ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! usually the only thing u have on to cover u is a towel.. So maybe its not about how ur dressed but how their HUSBANDS are dressed..

Answer 3

Singapore is an alien world to me. In America some wives wouldn't like their husbands getting a proper massage by a woman massage therapist. I personally wouldn't care but my husband has always gone to men therapists, because they give a more vigorous massage he says. He has insisted I get a massage from the therapist he is going to. He says he doesn't want a woman doing his massages. So I'd say that men are getting more than relaxed muscles if a woman does their massage.

Answer 4

You have every right to have male friends, and to visit them, as long as it remains platonic. If there is no flirting, and you're not engaging in a physical or emotional affair (using the male friend to provide the relationship stuff your husband might be lacking), then it's fine. However, it is understandable that your husband is uncomfortable with you having long conversations and staying the night with a man he's never met, that you were once close to. So include your husband. Encourage him to IM and talk with T. Maybe before this trip you could arrange a time for T and your husband and you and some friends to meet casually, at dinner or a party. Tell your husband that having guy friends is good for you, because it provides you with a male perspective. You have a right to this friendship and to this trip, but you should also be considerate of your husband's feelings.

Answer 5

I would let my husband get a massage without me being present. I would question him though if I found out he'd had one and deliberately tried to keep it a secret. The way I figure it is, if he's going to cheat he's going to cheat. Not a whole lot I can do about it. But if I ever caught him cheating...massage theripst, stripper, girl next door...whoever....I'll torture him until he dies of a slow and very painful death : )

Answer 6

About a decade ago I had a massage every 2 weeks by a female masseuse. My wife knew about it and it was professional and in fact she used the same therapist when she wanted a massage. I find your question to be ridiculous...ridiculous and offensive to your profession. Why in the world would a "professional" even ask a question such as this when you should understand that your profession has many respected and well recieved masseuses? It insults the integrity of your own profession. Unless you believe you too are a member of the seamy side of massage....you should know that...or your customers

Answer 7

Men associate almost every aspect of life with sex. Men naturally feel guilty becasue most men are to jealous to allow their wives to have a massage given by a man. I know some men that won't allow their wives to go to a male GYN. Now that is utterly stupid.

Answer 8

Freelance Masseuse Singapore

Answer 9

some men are so manly (like mine) that they dont like anybody(girlfirends wives, moms sisters etc) that they dont want anybody to know that they enjoy going to get massages. Its not a ual thing, or anything like that, and the whole reason some guys dont like the whole scented massage oil, or want to take a shower is because some guys (like my husband) cant handle to leave anything scented, or greasy/oily feeling on there skin. My husband wont where calogne, or scented deoderant, he wont use scented shampoo, or soap either. He just cant handle having smells on him. So dont worry, its not that they are getting turned on by you or the whole massage thing, its just a guy thing.

Answer 10

well it depends on country to country. I am in China and mostly here are girls who do massage. There is no other option. So how to find a man to do massage. Everyone have to accept it.