Is it just me but my husband can't get over that I (allegedly) cheated on him before we got married. This is six years later!! He wants a separation and I'm just pissed because he hasn't been perfect our whole marriage. I feel like I'm as close as you're going to get to being a perfect wife. I basically cater to this man. I put his needs way above my own. We have sex damn near every night and I can't figure him out. I need some advice. Some serious advice. I know he loves me but can anyone relate to this?
2006-08-14 05:57:07 · 10 answers · asked by darkandlovely 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is pretty bad that he can't get over something that occurred 6 years ago. If this was such a big issue he shouldn't have married you. Don't let him do the separation thing. Tell him that if he wants to leave then it is for good and not a temporary thing. He needs to decide to either trust you and love you and let the past stay in the past, or he needs to divorce you and let some other lucky guy have a woman like you.
2006-08-14 06:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is very bad that he cant get over something that happened well over 6 yrs ago. If he wants to leave the marraige you should allow him, but make sure he knows if he leaves you for this that he can not come back. He should have never asked you to marry him if he had had any doubt in his mind that you had actually cheated.You deserve better then this mistrust you are recieving at home. And we all are not perfect he must remember this for you to have had to live with things he has done and you have not been happy with. So tell him if he is leaving that s it its over for good. If he is ok with that then move on, because you deserve someone to love you for who u r
2006-08-14 06:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you phrased your question makes me think that you did cheat, but that he can't really prove it.
Trust is a primary ingredient in a marriage. Did you cheat on him or didn't you? If you did, come clean about it. Take ownership of your mistake and ask forgiveness. And, ask forgiveness for lying about it all these years.
You two should have worked out all this before you were married. You're going to need the help of a marriage counselor to help you get through this.
2006-08-14 06:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no way that is the total reason he wants a separation, unless he just found out recently. My wife still thinks I love my ex girlfriend and I'm the one that broke up with her 15 yrs ago!
So I think he is looking for a way out just for a change.
2006-08-14 06:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by get_unlost 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating on someone, specially your mate....husband, is a thing that you hardly forget.....nonetheless, you seem to be the right wife for me....let's talk business....and this is serious....not joking....I think you have done what you have had to do, but he is not responding anyway, so give it a try with me....we can be happily well
2006-08-14 06:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by israelmoya20 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that you two should get counselling. if you think that he loves you but he cant get over the betrayal then you two should get help. try counselling .if that doesn't change his mind then leave hm .let him think for sometime on his own. he needs to find out if he really loves you or not.
2006-08-14 08:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by atahsina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had similar problems with men but they turned out that they were on drugs, paranoid schizophrenic(pretty sure), and bipolar, or more than one of those. Tell him to get help or kiss your a@@!
2006-08-14 06:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by kyeann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man who is that shallow to be concerned as to what happened before is not worthy of your love.
2006-08-14 06:08:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if you have not cleared the air on your "alleged" affair
keep asking him questions about how he feels. don't judge his answers. don't get defensive. keep telling him you love him and show him he can trust you now.
trust is easy to break and hard to mend
2006-08-14 06:10:19 · answer #9 · answered by slippped 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's prolly cheating on you and trying to make your inevitable divorce all YOUR fault...remember, desperate men grab at straws...
2006-08-14 06:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by j w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋