what do i do?

Question

my bf is very sweet untill he drinks then hes very mean,and im not shure how to get out before someone gets hurt.he has a bad temper and likes to hit.hes poured liter fliud on me next to a fire.he was really drunk and said i made him made.but when hes sober hes a sweet guy.i dont know what to do for once?

Answer 1

Your BF is not sweet. He is abusive. He is a batterer. You need to know this and accept it because you are playing games with your life. Never mind how he acts when he is sober. Those are not the times that should worry you. He has a problem with alcohol. He is an alcoholic--someone who still drinks even after they realize that alcohol is a problem. He knows that he is wrong for the way that he treats you but he will continue to do it as long as you allow him to. It's bad enough having to deal with a drunk but a violent drunk is dangerous. Let me tell you the stages of the cycle of violence:
1. Tensions grow. Name calling, telling you that you're nothing without him, a lot of nasty arguments, a lot of crying on your behalf. You probably told yourself that things weren't that bad. You probably tried extra hard to keep things in order so that you wouldn't make him mad.
2. Throwing things & making threats. He throws things, hits things and threatens you with violence just to let you know that he means it. You may have argued back and threatened to call law enforcement.
3. Initial physical violence. There's shoving, physically restraining you, grabbing and pulling, and more verbal and emotional abuse. You may have tried to fight back to let him know that you weren't going to take it.
4. Moderate violence. Now there's slapping, punching, kicking, pulling hair, biting & disconnection of the phone to prevent contact with authorities or family. You probably now realize that fighting back will only make things worse and you probably do whatever it takes to end the argument.
5. Severe violence. Choking, beating with fists or other objects, use of weapons(guns, knives), sexual assault. He may say that he doesn't know what comes over him or even deny that he did anything when it's over. At this point, you're in survivor mode and just trying to stay alive.
6. The honeymoon. He is remorseful, loving and tends to your injuries as he tells you that it won't happen again. He may have even agreed to getting help that never happens. He may promise to stop drinking or say that he can't live without you. You might tell him it's over but you ultimately agree to give him another chance.
The steps repeat until the final step which is DEATH.
You are so close to DEATH and you don't realize it. If he is pouring lighter fluid on you near flames, he can and will KILL you. If you have children, your children are also at risk. If you don't believe that he will kill you, you're wrong.
You have to get away from him or you're signing your own death certificate. If it takes him a while to kill your physical body, he'll kill your spirit, your dignity, the essence of who you are as a woman sooner. Don't take chances with your life. THIS IS NOT LOVE. THIS IS A SICKNESS. HE IS SICK AND SO ARE YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. HE IS HIS OWN MAN AND NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE WITH HIM.
Please take heed to my words. I have seen too many women die because they didn't believe that it would or could happen to them at the hands of the man that they "loved".

Answer 2

Run as fast as you can away from this man and don't look back, he is abusive and it does not matter that he is sweet sometimes, or that he is sorry afterwords, all abusive relationships are like that.

I don't care what people say about trying to get him to stop drinking, if its not the drinking it might be something else and are you willing to take that chance. Your life is worth more than any feelings you may have for this man and if you stay, you will end up hurt or dead and God forbid that you have children with this man.

Answer 3

i'm now not confident I bear in mind this exact attack (won't of watched wrestling whilst it got here approximately) yet i've got obtrusive this all to maximum many times. did not Mark Henry kill the Undertaker or regardless of? I evaluate thats a sprint worse than a beating with a chair... The Undertaker has dided extra desirable than as quickly as, been buried alive, long long previous with the aid of ability of hell in Hell in a telephone suits, fought the phenomenal interior the commerce. He has been crushed many times with the aid of utilising the large instruct. I evaluate a measly chair attack would not be so risky. Finlay forever is taking the biggest beating of his occupation. on occasion he gets beten in a in shape and that they are going to say "we've with the aid of no ability seen Finlay take a beating like this!" whilst in certainty we've, many times now not long till now. The equivalent with the likes of Jamie Noble (even however I dont think many people took a beating like he did in direction of Sheamus) whilst i don't bear in mind this unique incident i'm confident the commentary team has exaggerated those assaults back and back. It truthfully is in simple terms not the worst he's had. I mean, hes died for goodness sakes!

Answer 4

In the world of recovery, he has what is called Jekyll-Hyde syndrome. Put your foot down. Tell him it's either you or booze. If he can't make the choice, get out of the relationship before he really does hurt you. Yes, he'll be sorry and beg forgiveness, but you would be the one with scars for the rest of your life.

Lighter fluid next to a fire??? JESUS, run girl!

Answer 5

Are you nuts...dump him...he may be sweet sometimes but it only takes one time for that lighter fluid to catch and you severely burned or dead. He should realize that he does these horrific things when he drinks and if he really loved and cared for you he would make sure he doesn't drink around you and put you in danger. They say drinking brings out everyones true side...and i think you have seen his.

Answer 6

u shouldn't be with him if that's the way he acts even if its just when hes drunk he should be willing to stop drinking for you if he cares about u...what if you would've caught on fire...he could've killed you

Answer 7

if hes not willing to stop drinking, then you need to get out of that relationship. unless he is willing to go for counseling. and even then, it could be dangerous...