I moved out but I love my boyfriend and he says he loves me. Our intimate life is very satisfying. We can really connect when we discuss our work life (we're in the same career). The problem is he is divorced and is afraid to commit. He is religious and that makes him feel bad about our intimacy. Also I get jealous, but I am working on this because I can see what it's doing to him. I am sixteen years younger than he is. I also have a hard time accepting his grown children (the daughter gets in trouble regularly, the son who is very lazy wants him to wait on him hand and foot). I am working on this, too. I have a hard time seeing my boyfriend being taken advantage of. He is a very giving person; that's one reason I love him. My family likes him, too. His friends are glad we're together because I think they were worried about his being alone.
2006-08-14 05:25:22 · 6 answers · asked by krazykat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to him and ask him about how he sees this working out. Where do you both see yourselves in 5 years? 10 years? His children are not going to go away, so you will need to learn how to deal with them in a way that will be okay with your boyfriend. Talk to him about that too. Ask what he wants you to do in regards to them.
Jealousy is usually the result of fear or insecurity. If you aren't sure of his feelings for you or otherwise fear that he might leave you for someone else, that stirs up feelings of jealousy. You need to talk to him about that too.
Consider couples counseling. If he is religious, he might consider seeing a counselor through his church. A counselor can help you talk through these (and other) issues together to help you both determine if you have a future together.
Best wishes.
2006-08-14 05:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by happygirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't take a step back. Take a step forward. Make an appointment with marriage/relationship counselor. Talk over all the issues between you with the counselor. See if you can work through them.
2006-08-14 12:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, he is a very sensible person it seems, but i think it will work out as long as you want it too, in due time he will realize you are good for him, but he will need to get over his divorce, and im sure it is hard for him, and he may need to toughen up just a bit so he doesnt get stepped all over, but im not sure if this has helped you, i am probably too young to understand this yet
2006-08-14 12:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were also able to participate in his religious life, he would feel a closer bond with you. Don't take a step back. Don't try and change his family.
2006-08-14 12:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by SmokeyGun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this many times and from my experience it didnt work. Good luck and communicate-I hope what is best for you happens!
2006-08-14 12:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by haleydwh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-08-14 12:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by russellmcmillen1947 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋