Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe...Question for smart women...?

Question

Do you find it depressing that even a highly intelligent man chooses to marry a woman like Marilyn (if he has the chance!), rather than a less beautiful woman who is his intellectual equal?
Einstein, too...he divorced his first wife--the one who had intellectual ambitions--and married a comparatively simple woman who cooked and cleaned for him. He slept around with young women on the side.
Also, I read about a study that found that men who score well on IQ tests have, on average, better-looking wives than men of average intelligence. The article said that the higher a man's IQ, the better looking his wife will be.
Isn't it all depressing?

I said the question was for smart women. If you're stupid, please don't answer.

I have read quite a bit about Marilyn. I have also seen many of her films. I don't think that she was unintelligent, but I also don't think it's unfair to say that she was not Arthur Miller's intellectual equal.

Aunt Susan: You will have a different view of the Miller-Monroe marriage if you read Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates, or Miller's memoir (I don't remember the title; I think he wrote several). I don't think he was an egotist. Marilyn was a drug addict. It would have been difficult for anyone to live with her. You're right about Joe Dimaggio, though.

Answer 1

I don't think it's depressing. Not being one of the "beautiful" people actually makes life much easier. You know that your friends hang around you and your man dates/marries you because they like YOU - not the social status that comes with hanging out with a beautiful woman.

Most men can't handle a woman who is their intellectual equal. They want someone who will do what they say and be dependent on them. Most men are too intimidated to be with a woman who is smarter than they are. It's just the way it is.

BTW - Do you have the other side of the study? Do smart women marry more handsome men? I'll bet they at least marry men who are worth a lot more money. Both sexes are guilty of getting the prettiest/most handsome/wealthiest catch they can get. Looking at a checkbook and not your heart is what's sad.

Answer 2

I doubt that their IQ has much to do with their ability to catch a pretty wife. I would be more inclined to think that intelligent men make more money and many women love money more than any man. I think the scenario you describe indicates problems within both sexes, not just in men. Plus, intelligence is only part of a person's personality and even though a man may have a high IQ, he still can be just as impressed with eye candy. Depressing? I suppose. Human nature is probably a better word.

Answer 3

I am very surprised that you would ask this Question when you do not know your facts! Norma Jean Baker (Marilyn Monroe) had a BRILLIANT mind, but most people could not see past her sensual persona. Due to her difficult childhood, she developed a massive inferiority complex and LOW self esteem, which clouded her ability to maintain a intimate relationship. Highly intelligent men are often unable to deal with emotionally insecure women. Author Miller was such a egotist, that he had no patience with any ones issues other then those which bolstered his image. Joe DiMaggio had the same problem, however, both men wanted to possess her body, but were not willing to play second fiddle to Marilyn's fame.

Answer 4

Great question! I've found that even the most intelligent men spend an inordinate amount of time thinking with the little head. It is quite depressing, isn't it?!

It's bad enough in theory. In practice it can be devastating...

I had a great deal of respect for my former boss (President of the college that also employed my husband). He was smart and a lot of fun. He'd greet me in the hallway every morning singing a different song and we'd do a little dance together.

My husband discovered that his boss was reading everyone's e-mails and sabotaging the work done via computer of certain employees to undermine them. After my husband went to the President he got fired. He couldn't find another IT job in this hokey little town or the surrounding area, so we had to move, I had to quit and my four kids got cheated out of a free college education.

Months later, I found out from my replacement that it all happened because hubby's boss was also reading the President's e-mail and had discovered an on-going affair and threatened to tell his wife if he didn't fire my husband.

Currently, the President of the college is about to retire, will leave smelling like a rose with his so-called marriage intact and my husband's former boss is in line to take his place!

It has taken a lot of self-control to refrain from informing the Board of Trustees or writing an anonymous letter to the wife. I have to believe that what goes around comes around and they'll both eventually get precisely what they deserve!

Answer 5

It goes to show you that women are into intelligence , and not looks . Not all women who are beautiful are dumb , they do need someone to talk to on their level . Einstein did turn out to be a womanizer . But Arthur Miller , wanted the beauty on his arm like a trophy wife . Marilyn met with Einstein and found him absolutely charming and was able to talk to him without feeling like a dumb blond .

Answer 6

I do find it interesting that many guys don't want to date/marry an intellectually equivalent woman. Guys like that obviously have low self-esteem. It's like a guy in high school only picking fights with a sixth grader because he's too afraid to pick on someone his own size.

However, your examples of Marilyn/Arthur and Einstein/wife are not apropos to this discussion, because fame and money come into play in those cases.

Furthermore, I certainly don't think any of us are in a position to judge the intelligence or motives of individual persons whom we've never met.

Answer 7

Just like anything else in life, you can't peg everyone into one clean theory. Of course there will be smart men who only care about looks, but that doesn't mean every smart man cares about just looks.

If you're smart, you're used to a certain level of dialouge and interaction with your peers. You can date a woman for looks, but if she doesn't measure up in the brains department, then you'll quickly tire of her. Some smart men will stay regardless, but then usually find themselves in a unfulfilling relationship with a partner who doesn't challenge them.

As for men with higher IQs having better looking wives, that logic applies to all attractive qualities in a man. I'm sure fit men have better looking wives than unfit men. Handsome men have better looking wives than average looking men. Rich men have better looking wives than middle class men. Women shouldn't think this is unfair because the reverse applies to woman as well. Rich women, smart women, and attractive women have better husbands than most.

If you're going to look at a random celebrity, instead of Arthur Miller, look at Bill Gates. His wife is moderately attractive but is extremely intelligent, ambitious and successful.

I went to ivy league schools and consider myself intelligent, and I'm mostly interested in smart women. That's why I stay away from the general dating sites and go to places like theSquare and DateSmartPeople.com. There's a lot of online communities out there filled with men looking for smart women. So don't dispair.

Answer 8

Well, that just show you how simple minded and pathetic men can be. If they were really smart as they "claim" to be; then I' am pretty sure that their choice would be respectable. Unfortunatly men are visual spectators and mainly make decisions on those visual aspects.

In the end who outlives them? We do becasue we used our intellect rather than...lets just say they are animals who's granted smarts helps them in no way, but finding a girl who has less of a brain and IQ of 90. Well, I don't know about you, but as a successful women I am statisfied with knowing we have an advantage in many areas.

Answer 9

Miller was in a difficult position because of his fame and fortune. He had to be wary of women who might have only been interested in his money. And Marilyn Monroe? C'mon. What man wouldn't be interested? She had just as much money and fame as he did. She also was VERY intelligent - she just knew how to hide it well when called for. Unfortunately, she couldn't beat her inner demons - neither could Miller. It's sad how often highly talented people resort to booze or pills to get through the day. They actually loved each other - from what I've read.

Answer 10

This does not depress me in the least. I look at it like those guys have been beaten up on most of their lives and now it's time that they get some of what other people desire. I mean it's every ones desire to be desired or envied. But what depresses me more is the fact that these people did not appear to give a care about marriage. But that is what depresses me about society today, people just don't take marriage seriously, although some do and that's great but a lot don't.