I help take care of a 1 year old who is spoilt by her mother. Should I just ignore them when they have their tantrums? Should I place her in a room and wait for her to calm down?
2006-08-14 05:17:42 · 16 answers · asked by blue_bee 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
TIME OUT!!! Whatever you are going to do always always make sure that it's okayed my the mother because if that baby tells the mom what you did to punish them you might piss off the mother and you really don't want to step on any toes. Time outs work really nice after a while. Trust me the first time you put that child in a corner you will royally piss that kid off but hey eventually they will get used to it and they will know that you mean bussiness!!!! Stick with it though hun it will work eventually so don't give up. Just make sure that when the child is in time out that you don't talk to that child or acknowledge anything that they are saying to you. Ignore them! They need to know that time out is quiet time for them to think about what they did. If the child goes to leave the corner before you tell them it's okay then you need to put the child back into the corner facing the corner and the time out should start over. Tell the child that the time out will continue to start over until they finish their time there and you say it's okay to leave but not before then. Time outs are supposed to be a minute for every year old they are so if the child is one then the time out should last for 1 minute etc. Egg timers work wonderfully because then they have a visual on how long they have to stand there, but when it goes off they also need to know theat they can't tear outta there until they have your permission! Make sure that no one else talks to the child while they are being punished and that there are NO distractions like t.v., books, toys within reach. Time out MEANS time out!!! When the time out is completed make sure that you talk to the child and tell them that you still love or care about them but this is the reason why they got the time out to begin with....(explination here)...Then give the child a big hug or kiss or both and send them back to their playing. They may seem like they aren't listening but trust me they are and if they get enough time outs then eventually they will listen to the reasons more and more because they are gonna want to know why they are being crammed into a corner all the time. The first week or so it may seem like the child is in the corner for something every 5 minutes but it will get to be less and less as time goes on. When they start to realize that they wont get away with nothing with you!!! Good luck honey!
P.s.- ignore all temper tantrums while the child is in the corner. Trust me they will try anything to get your attention. Don't give in.
2006-08-18 14:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by sofina_83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 1 year old is a bit on the spoiled side, which is something that daddy has had a huge hand in. So I end up dealing with tantrums when I won't allow him to do any old thing he wants. Time outs along with a strict 'no!' tend to do the trick with him. But I am told that its normal and will ge worse, (not the best of news for me lol). Some have told me that walking away and ignoring them works as well since there is no one there to listen or react to their tantrums. Try something different each time. See which one works better, but make sure that her mother knows what you are doing! Also, afterward can be a rather important time, since you don't want to drag out punishment or make the child think you really dislike her. You have to let them know you dislike the actions. So when its over, make a little bonding time, or make-up time. Simple as a hug, but you don't want the child to end up disliking you.
2006-08-14 12:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard with someone elses child but it drives me nuts when I have to deal with a brat and can't do anything especially violent ones.
Anyways, ignoring the tantrums is a great way to get through to her. If she realizes that you don't react the the tantrum she'll eventually quit. It may take a while but you have to be consistent if you want it to work. You can punish her as well by making her sit in the corner until she calms down. Just remember consistency is key. She needs to realize now that being a spoiled brat will not get her everything she wants in life. The sooner she learns that lesson the better of she will be as an adult.
2006-08-14 12:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by kristina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First thing, what type of discipline has the mother agreed too. And to best deal with a child like that...ignore her...if she throws a tantrum, step over her and pretend she is not there. Start doing something fun that she will want to do and when she starts behaving then allow her to interact. She will figure out that she can not misbehave at your house even if she still does with her mother.
2006-08-14 12:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by stall_out 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be strong! Be consistent! Ignore the tantrums and don't give in no matter what. Always remain calm, and don't show them that thier behaviors are bothering you. One year old is pretty young for a lot of discipline, so I would stick with ignoring and being calm. If you discipline and be a good sitter, they should be fairly good with you, if not the mother. Good luck!
**Just remember: You are the one in charge here!
2006-08-14 12:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by mynickname 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't recommend discipline because it's not your baby, and that may anger the parents. but as long as you don't reward the tantrums, eventually they will learn that those don't work with you. I would act angry, but be sure not to lose your patience, that's half way why they do it. whenever I'm around a kid who is doing that, I just tell them to let me know when they are done, then I reason with them. my 10 month old gets it, I'm sure the 12 month old could too
2006-08-20 11:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by braslinbabe85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends really. If the child is throwing a fit for attention, ignoring the child completley works well to put that to an end but it does take time for them to realize that its not going to faze you and can be hard to stick with. However if the child is suffering from seperation anxiety there isnt much you can do except try to find something that distracts them from the fact that there parent is gone. Find something that works well and stick with it. Good luck. My theroy is if you dont want me to spank your child dont leave them with me...lmao. I know it sounds mean but sometimes thats all that works.
2006-08-18 09:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Caryn: Don't give in to wht she wants. If you do she will think that it is ok to throw tantrums and continue doing it even when she is 6 and 9. Tell the mother that while you are looking after her. You are playing by ur own rules and will not give in to that little brat.
Kelsey: I have no idea
2006-08-14 13:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by Caryn and Kelsey 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my 18 month has really bad tantrums, (she throws herself on the floor andbangs her head). I have found that if I ignore her she will stop. If after at least 5 min. she doesn't i will put her in her bed and shut the door. she stops then.
2006-08-15 18:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by ♥mommy of 4♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember that a toddler has teh attention span of less than 3-5 minutes.
if you punish them, make sure you REMIND them of what they are in trouble for.
first is a time out make then sit still and quiet for 3 or five minutes
second warn them assertivly again and sit them in time out again
if time out does not work....a MILD spank on the bottom. and then after they calm down from that......remind them what they did to get a spanking. and EXPLAIN to them why they cant do what they did to get in trouble
2006-08-20 01:18:11 · answer #10 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋