I started my own working mans club a couple of years ago with the money a dead relative left me. At first things were going quite well. I hired staff who would run the club whilst I would play snooker, domino's & card games with the regulars in between meets at St. Ledger. One day I let a coach party of Egyptians use our facilities as they had nowhere else to go, but they left sand all over the place & their camels shat all over the car park. The regulars voted, which resulted in all Egyptians being banned from the club. As the months passed by more and more coach parties were being banned for slight offences untill there was only me, two members of staff (now High Priests) and about 15 or so members (The Collective), who for some reason will only ever refer to me as the 'Great and All-Powerful Shaman'. Since they started stealing 'tributes' from HSBC for the Shaman the police have started an investigation & they are planning to kill themselves at the next full moon.
What should I do?
2006-08-14 04:43:29 · 15 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
The police are saying this is a cult & that I may have to pay back the £86 million that the collective allegedly stole & allegedly paid into my bank account.
Should I kill all witnesses?
2006-08-14 04:45:39 · update #1
Oi you bastard.
I'll have you know I've been looking for your 'so called collective'
I sent them out from our commune in Northamptonshire in our 'Rainbow Bus' down to Leicester Square to pick up some waifs for the farm.
Haven't seen them for months.
I'm short of 'Wifelets' now.
I'd heard about the Affiliated Snooker Wondrous Freedom Of Mind And Spirit Of The All Seeing Shamen (St Helens Division).
Didn't think you much of a threat to be honest.
Tell you what, come down to our place in the country, I'll show you how a proper cult is run.
Bring back my minions and I'll give you a seat on top table. First pick of the drones too.
You can either stick your 'tributes' into the collective plate or I'll help with safe passage to Chile, for a small consideration of course.
2006-08-14 10:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by SilentRunning 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't wait around until your assets are frozen!
Put that money in an account in the Caymans.
Let the High Priests know that you need to be in seclusion to 'prepare' for the next full moon, but that you will return when The Collective has done their 'duty'. Then they won't bother you.
Leave the country. Your witnesses will all be dead at the next full moon, and you & the money will be long gone.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 08:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by oh kate! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For starters it is clear that you have a dry sense of humour which some may find amusing. Due to the large holes in your story I believe it to be just that; a story and although this story isn't impossible it would have been broadcasted more readily.
So my answer to your question is to forget about this whole palaver and take up writing professionally and in doing so you can direct your imagination into a more worthwhile direction rather than vanquishing your bordom on such meaningless entried such as this.
2006-08-14 04:56:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-25 00:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the money and emmigrate to Eygpt, then invest in camel racing as you obviously have a head for business.
2006-08-14 04:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by sammi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make sure ther is no proof that you were involved in the theft and did not know the money was stolen,
then find some pretty young followers, buy a small island and live there, oh and maybe get a vasectemy as the island may become crowded
2006-08-14 04:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by orfeo_fp 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
before the killing try inviting all the egyptians back in and see if they will hide the money in the camels humps for you if that doesnt work death could be the way forward
2006-08-14 04:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by morgi777 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How did you like them camel toes?
2006-08-14 05:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the party home, mate.
2006-08-16 12:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by mitch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just kill yourself. Byeeee
2006-08-14 04:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋