Tell her or not?

Question

I was going to a massage therapist during marathon training. No monkey business. But, she's very attractive, married like me, and we became friends. I had to stop going because I couldn't keep my mind in the right place. She has been very professional the whole time. Should I tell her why I stopped?

Answer 1

As a massage therapist, I would probably want to know why a good client and friend disappeared. However, as you are both married, it could open up a can of worms, particularly if the feeling is mutual. I guess it depends on if you would act on your feelings for her if she shared them and if you are happy in your marriage or not. If you want to keep your marriage intact and not entice her, you could give her another reason so at least she doesn't feel she did something wrong.
However, if you do tell her, she may not be able to work on you again in good conscience (ethical dilemma.)
All that said, clients do come and go, and it's something an MT shouldn't take too personally. Just my perspective.

Answer 2

It might be awkward. Maybe you should think things through and decide that the friendship or potential friendship would be worth staying quiet. Sometimes you have to weigh your options. Tell the therapist and risk an uncomfortable situation and possible withdraw from the friendship OR make another choice and decide to let it lie and focus on a terrific friendship with great chemistry. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 3

I don't really think that it is a big issue to tell her, it sounds like you did the right thing by not going to see her anymore. It can be really complicated when you are married but then you are attracted to someone else as well, but try to remember this, it is normal to be like that. It happens all the time, the only time it is wrong is when you cheat on your wife/husband gf or bf. I think that you did the right thing by not seeing her anymore.

Answer 4

No because she might respond with something that would make you think twice about having an affair..don't look for excuses to keep this feeling any stronger than it is...avoiding such temptation is an effective way to stop this from getting out of hand.

Answer 5

If you tell her why you stopped, that means you tell her that you like her, right? Actually, you sound like you want to see her reaction, if she likes you too, if she would want something more with you. That's dangerous, because both of you are married. If you want to stay married, don't tempt yourself, it was right to stop and you don't owe anyone any explanation.

Answer 6

She's a massage therapist and you're not her first athlete. She knows why you stopped! If she didn't ask, no need for you to tell.

Answer 7

i don't think it's necessary. esp if you're both married. you did the right thing by stopping though. it's definitely okay to be attracted to someone else if you're married, but to go beyond that would be wrong. good for you!!! :)

Answer 8

Just tell her it would be the best for both of you just to keep the distance b/c of feelings that may try to spark. You don't want anyone to get hurt.

Answer 9

You can tell her and leave at that nothing more cause you're married and so is she. So get the lust out your mind and take care of home.

Answer 10

Yes you should. Although it will be very wierd. But if she really does have feeling for you. You dont wanna be in a bad place between her, you, your wife, her husband ect. So yeah you really should tell you.