I come from a disfunctional family. My parents and my wife do not have a good history. My wife always sees the worst side of my parents. My mom says that she is never coming again. My wife says she never wants to see my family again. What should I do?
2006-08-14 03:52:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Isn't it wonderful to be stuck in the middle. you can pick you friends but not your relatives. Not saying your mom is right or wrong. Put it this way would your mom tolerate being insulted by her mother-in-law.
I have been in the middle before. Except my Husband thought he was being put in the middle. I bent over backwards trying to get along with my mother-in-law. No matter what i tried. I couldn't get through to her. I finally asked my Husband to help. Out of frustration he yelled at her, she left and then turns to me and asked if I was happy.
My mother-in-law was evil. I could fill a page about the things she said and did. But I won't. When he treated her the way he did. I finally talked to her more directly. Shared the things she did that bothered me. In the end I was closer to her than my husband.
You shouldn't be put in the middle. Sounds like a power struggle over you. Some place it says leave the mother to be with the wife. I believe you can have both. If they can resolve their differences. Good Luck
2006-08-14 04:03:47 · answer #1 · answered by Balou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand when you got married that you began your own family which is or should be your priority. If your parents cannot respect your home or your family they don't have any business there. Talk to your mom and explain to her that you love your wife and that she deserves respect. Talk to your wife and explain all families are different and yours isn't perfect but that you want her to leave things in the past. You can still maintain your relationship with your family all differences aside. Good luck!
2006-08-14 11:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did that to my family who did samething what you been though and I have stopped talking to my mother for what she did to my wife and she has no right period. I know my wife more longer and I live with my wife longer and My mom never live with me and never know my wife longer than me. I have end it with my family for 9 years now and I am so proud I did.. My wife will be with me for longer time than my mother.
No one should tell you what to do how you do with your wife. I think you should stick with your wife because, if you do stand up for your wife and she would do the samething for you. and My life been wonderful and peacefully. So I understand that you both have not have a good history but now it the time to have good history by end your family and your wife family too.. and it will make the best life better.
It helps me and people said wow you look better how you do that? I told them Stop talking to my family and made my life much better away fromt hem.
Believe me and I have glad I did it and I know you can do it. My mother only saw picture because she will never ever get near my kids too smiling after she abused me all my life and that what made me protect my wfie and kids. I hope you do understand this....
2006-08-14 11:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maintain relationships with your wife and your mom.
If your wife & mom cannot get along, then avoid putting them in the same space.
You can still visit with your mom separately, but inform both parties that you will not listen to the gripe-sessions by either!
Try to maintain a good balance and don't get all upset about it.
2006-08-14 11:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents you love them, tell your wife you love her, and say that you are sorry they both feel that way, and step out of the middle. If your mom trys to pull you back in, tell her you prefer not to be in the middle and if she has a problem with your wife, she needs to take it up with your wife, and vice versa for your wife. Be supportive for both sides while remaining neutral. Good luck! I don't envy you your position.
2006-08-14 10:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although they are your parents, you married your wife . . you didn't say what the problem is between them but I would do this . . you can visit with your parents by yourself . . don't force your wife to have to go . . and don't force your parents to be around your wife . . you don't have to choose one or the other but if you are going to choose your parents, move back into their house, tie the apron strings back on and do whatever your mother says . . they have to accept her as your wife regardless . . maybe over time, things will change . . good luck
2006-08-14 11:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by wfgrg15001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad as this may sound... GO WITH YOUR WIFE ON THIS: For many reasons, but mostly because you HAVE to live with her for the rest of your life, you should take her side on this.
2006-08-14 11:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U HAVE UR OWN FAMILY NOW!! IF U LOVE UR WIFE STAND BY HER N UR MOM WILL SOMEDAY UNDERSTAND UR ATTITUDE! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME N MY MOM!!
2006-08-14 11:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by maria32greece 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not take sides just let them both know they are entitled to their own opions and you love them both and do not want to be in the middle
2006-08-14 11:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋