My husband snores and refuses to see a doctor. What Can I do?

Question

My husband has never been a snorer, EVER! In fact he was always the perfect bed partner and I appreciated this. Over the last several months his snoring started and has become increasingly worse. Sometimes it is so loud it wakes me from a dead sleep. Some nights I am awake 5,6,7,or 8 or more times throughout the night. I roll him over but that is only a temporary solution. He gets angry if I wake him with no disregard or care to the fact I've been awake all night due to his snoring! I can't sleep, I am tired all day, and I am snappy not just with him, but others as well. I can't function like normal and I don't feel like myself. I know I am becoming sleep deprived. Whenever I mention his snoring he REFUSES to talk about it or see a doctor. He has NEVER snored his whole life. Sometimes he makes choking and gasping sounds. Other times the snoring is just plain loud and obstructive and sometimes there is no sound at all, not even breathing. What should I do? I really need some sleep.

I told my husband over a month ago his snoring was keeping me awake ALL NIGHT and his answer was "I don't really give a #$*@" He figures if he is getting sleep than who cares about anyone else sleeping. It is all very selfish behavior. His snoring is going to be the end, I swear! I can only sleep on the couch so many nights, waking up with a sore neck from being uncomfortable. My husband does not care that this bothers me and he thinks I'm making too much of it. What he doesn't get is that his snoring could be sign of health problems and it is also causing me mental problems! I can't deal with his snoring without yelling, poking, pinching, waking him and feeling general frustration. I used to be a heavy sleeper and I miss it very much. I don't have dreams anymore because I am such a light sleeper now and the slightest noise will wake me. I used to be able to sleep through anything anywhere! Now I can barely get a good nights rest and this is only achieved by sleeping without him!

Answer 1

In all probability he has sleep apnea which should not be taken lightly . When you get older and gain weight , things start to sag in the back of your throat. Two things happen as a result :tissue starts to vibrate causing snoring and tissue sags obstructing the airway causing the apnea. He's not breathing !!!
You may want to tape him during the night , somewhere on the 120 minute tape the snoring should show up.
Bottom line is that he really needs to see a doctor.
There are non surgical solutions to this problem , but the reality of sleeping with a mask on every night didn't appeal to me so
i opted for the surgical one. It wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life , but it wasn't the worst either and it did work
Get him to a doctor.

Answer 2

You might already be sitting on the answer. ****** If this is too long, skip to the bottom ******** Ask your husband where his sleep study was done. It is possible that the results will hold the key to his problem. However, it's been a long time. In most cases, people lose or gain weight, start or stop smoking/drinking, change medications, etc. far more than every 10 years. I have several different sleep disorders, so I've had 6 sleep studies in three years. The first indicated I had sleep apnea, which could very well be the cause of some of your husband's problems. In addition, I lost weight (the apnea went away); had been through several medical/surgical problems, etc. When my ex-husband's drinking pattern changed, so would his sleep pattern - just an FYI. I was just tested for Narcolepsy, which came back negative. My doctor put me on a medication and the Sleep Specialist then said he needs to test me to make sure the medication isn't causing apnea. It's all very confusing and does require medical follow-up to treat. ************ Important ************** I'm more concerned about your husband's attitude (or lack thereof). If he knows you are suffering and not only refuses to do anything about it, but he insists that you sleep on the floor or otherwise suffer, there is something very wrong. This might be the only problem in the marriage .... but it's certainly not the only marriage with this problem. Don't let yourself be treated less than your partner. Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100 ... don't settle for 10/90.

Answer 3

Well until you can convince him to see a doctor about the only thing you can do is try some ear plugs or sleep in a different room. Wal-Mart super centers have ear plugs. I know how you feel. My first husband kept me awake all night too, and would get mad when I went into the other bedroom to sleep. I could actually STILL hear him with both doors closed and the other bedroom was at the other end of the house!! He thought I was being ridiculous until he went on a camping trip with some of his uncles and cousins and they ALL returned to their vehicles to get some sleep! He finally believed me and went to the doctor. Maybe you could record him while he's snoring and make him realize what he sounds like. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Definitely make him see a doctor. My husband did the same thing and at first I wrote it off that he was exhausted, etc. The snoring became gradually worse over time.

He had to have surgery. Found out he had a deviated septum.

Sleep apnea is also a worry that is what some of the symptoms you are describing. The choking and gasping noises.

I strongly suggest he see a doctor.

Answer 5

lol!
Bless your heart. He's probably just exhausted, but he could be suffering from some sort of sleep apnea problem, too. Try gently moving his foot over an inch or two or sliding his pillow a bit. Sometimes just a slight movement will stop it, but not wake him.
If he still refuses to see a Dr., or is getting a little snippy with you about it, I'd go into another bedroom and see if he changes his mind about getting help. At least you'll get a good nights sleep that way.
Good luck!

Answer 6

He might have sleep apnea. I have it and can tell you its the easiest doctors visit ever. No needles, nuthin' weird. Just to see if you might have it. If the doctors thinks you do have it, you have to sleep overnight in the hospital with sensors on your head. A little weird but once they decide you need the mask and you sleep with it, its the biggest high ever! Honestly.

And you feel tons better once you start sleeping with the mask. I use a mask that just goes under the nose and is very comfortable.

He'll kick himself for not going sooner. I promise!

Answer 7

Taser him whenever he snores. If he says he doesn't snore, use a state-of-the-art recording device and play it real loud while he's trying to sleep. An "eye 4 an eye".... Right?

Answer 8

There is no other way around it- you have to make him take action on it. either that or you have to tell him that he can't sleep in the same room until he goes to a doctor and he has to sleep on the couch or different room, away from you so you can get sleep. Even if you have to get into a fight with him about it its worth it.

Answer 9

I had the same thing with my husband. I ended up making him sleep in the other bedroom. That finally got him to do something about it. He had surgery. He really needs to see his doctor.

Answer 10

try killing him