six years ago at college I met a girl we dated got engaged then we started having problems. Well she got pregnant. We broke up when she was one month. I tried to do the right thing but she said that it was not my kid to leave her alone and her family told my family the same thing. She even put father unknown on the birth certifficate. Well since then I have gotten married to my wife who has a son who is 5. He knows I am his step dad but I help raise him. Well just got a letter saying that my ex has named me as the father of this 5 year old girl. I am so confused! If she is mine I want to be apart of her life and do what is right. But WHY IN HELL does this lady get to steal 5 years of mine and this girls life togeather. If she is mine I want her!! Her mom is on welfair. I have a good job a house and my wife is very supportive. I think my ex just wants me to pay child support and not do any thing. WEll That is wrong IF this is my daughter I have every right to be her DAD!
2006-08-14 03:30:30 · 17 answers · asked by sad and confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get a blood test, if you are the father, sue for custody.
2006-08-14 03:34:25 · answer #1 · answered by digital genius 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File a request for custody. That's messed up. Think about it. She held a brick over your head for five years, because she could use this against you later. She claims you are not the father, and puts unknown on the cert. Five years pass, you get married, and have a happy life. Then, BAMM! Drops this brick on your head! Now she's claiming that you ARE the father. Look at how much time has passed, and look at how time is passing now. She is trying everything in her power to keep you unhappy and cause you mental anguish. If that wasn't the case, she would've told you a long time ago. It just happens to occur because you are married. Get the DNA test, get custody (if you are the father), get a restraining order, and get on to supporting your family and living happily. I am glad to hear that your wife is supportive, because it CAN get messy in situations like these.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 09:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you got pwned, to use web vernacular.
First thing, calm down. The most charitable explanation is that she went on some sort of welfare support, so they would have requried her to name who the child's father is. Now you have to deal with the CSE, and isn't that a time and a half. So it really could be the CSE screwing with you. It's not fun, but it might not be you.
Secondly, if they do put this up, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SEE THE CHILD. Get a paternity test and if that is the case, you can demand full or joint custody before child support attaches. Even joint custody will reduce your child support and more importantly, allow you to see your child.
2006-08-14 05:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by John F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are the girls father, you do have every right to be her dad and be in her life...but you can't take her away from her mother even if she is on welfare and you have a nice life... I was married for 4 years and just , litterally........just had a baby and my husband left me..... he said that we fought alot and we were not compatible (in other words he left me for someone else) anyway.......I was so scared that he would take my baby away from me because I had no job at the time ( I was supposed to stay home with the baby, at least that is what we agreed), I never finished school and I had no where to go). Unfortunately I had to go on welfare and recieve WIC because the $100 a week was just not cutting it (child support). My lawyer told me that there was NO WAY IN HELL that he could take my baby from me....the only way that he could ever take my son from me is if he could prove that I was a crack whore and that I was putting my son's life in danger.........which I knew he could never do cause I was a virgin when I married his *** and I never had an alchoholic beverage until way after my 21st Birthday and the first time I went to a bar was when I was 25........so you can just see that I am a good mother........my son comes first and when he left me when had a freaking foster child living with us.....HELLO! What an asshole lol just remembering the past.............
2006-08-14 04:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you I'm proud of you for standing your ground. First I'd make the mother prove that you're the father, before you get attached with the girl. That mother, there is something wrong with her. It's nice that she had 5 years but what about you? All you can do is find out if you are or aren't the father and go from there. Make the best out of the situation. And yes a lot of woman are child support, money hungry, greedy woman. Good Luck.
2006-08-14 03:37:26 · answer #5 · answered by Illinoismom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew damn well when you broke up that she was pregnant with your child. Your "confusion" is fooling no one.
In many places there is a declaration form where you can register as the babies father. You should have done this years ago if you were so concerned about your child being "stolen" from you. You had the opportunity to step up to the plate ... and you did nothing except slink away quietly. You could have even gone for joint custody.
Don't whine about your "rights" when you have done absolutely nothing to protect or enforce them all these years.
2006-08-14 03:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let her steal it. All you had to do was to petition the court for fatherhood, establish that you had had sexual relations with this girl, and demand and pay for a paternity test. That simple. You allowed her, through your ignorance, to dictate your life. I'm not blaming you, because we are all ignorant in many ways. It's not too late. You can still take charge of your life and possibly even challenge her for custody if you feel that she is not capable or able to care properly for your child. Take the bull by the horns, get an attorney, and make this child's life better!
2006-08-14 03:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by Enough 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a DNA test, if this is your child you can sue for visitation and possibly even for custody if you can prove her unfit. She probably does want child support, which is as it should be if this is your daughter, but you need to be allowed the visitation that goes along with that. She sounds horribly selfish and unfeeling to do that not only to you but to an innocent child as well. Good luck!!
2006-08-14 03:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do have every right to be her dad. She is so wrong if you are the father. You make sure to tell the court how you dealt with the situation before and how it bothers you greatly to lose all that time that you could have spent with her. Be certain to have a test to make sure first so that if she isn't you and she can move on.
2006-08-14 03:36:28 · answer #9 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. If this is your child you should have rights to her as a parent. I would first advise a DNA test to be assured she is your daughter. If the test comes back that she is your child, get an attorney who can help sort this thing out with you.
2006-08-14 03:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hire an atturney, get a paternity test, sue for custody. In that order. Unfortuatly, this is the injustace in our justace system. When it comes to children, women get all the rights and us men just have to suffer with whatever they decide. Wish you all the luck.
2006-08-14 03:40:50 · answer #11 · answered by honest guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋