Ladies Only!!! Really Need Help Understanding This.?

Question

Ladies, Help me understand something.

How can a woman love a man/boy who has raped them in the past and continue to sleep with them, But hate a man/boy who've they've had a child with?

Help me understand this. I thought most women looked at rape as something unforgivable. But if that’s so then how can a woman continue to sleep with her rapist and say that she continues to love him but can completely hate the guy she's had a child with even though he never did anything like that.

Yeah I’m a guy but I look at this as the ultimate low (rape) and the most unforgivable but just can't wrap my head around why a woman can continue to do this and admit to their partner that they love that person.

Just to add a little more. I'm not the baby's father. I'm the girls best friend who has been trying to get into a relationship with this girl. Now the reason I've brought it up was because recently she said that she loved me but when she fell asleep she started dreaming about having sex with the guy who raped her. So out of concern I woke her up and instead of calling me by my name she called me him and said that she loved him.

Kind of hard to swallow after that. Hopefully everyone that's responed so far will look back at this question and see the addition info.

Thanks for the help so far.

Answer 1

Some women will accept anything from a person they love like abuse....Its the same thing........

Some women are afraid to be by themselves......and they can also have self awareness and self esteem problems. I think there could be even more as to why some women stand for things like that...... I'm not one of those women but i watch allot of lifetime and i see situations like that. Even though its TV but at one time it was someone else's reality..

Answer 2

It really depends on what exactly this "rape" was. Was it a case of abrupt forced sex, was it violently opposed, what was the nature of the relationship in the first place...? There are so many details that would need described that it's impossible to grasp the situation accurately. Sex and love are so complicated. Some people just thrive on abusive violence and that's what they go for. What's the current definition of "rape" and is that what really happened? Also food for thought, simply because two people have a child together does NOT mean there's love there at all. Happens all the time. Wake up Move on...Good luck.

Answer 3

This must r-e-a-l-l-y be bothering you since you've asked it 3 times.
Rape IS the most dispictable behavior .

I'm assuming you're the one who's had a child with this woman yet she's with someone who she claims raped her, right?

1. She may not have been raped.
2. It's a rare thing but sometimes a woman develops this attachment to their rapist. He has harmed her in a most violent way and it has skewed her thinking process, her emotional state, her very soul. This woman is in need of psychological help. This is NOT normal behavior.
3. He may be threatening her very life, or that of her child's. A woman will do ANYTHING to protect her baby.

Answer 4

Toya J hit it on the nose. Talking from experience... Some women think that they can't find anything better or are told that from the rapist boyfriend. It really is a low self esteem problem. Unfortunately this is something that she will need to realize for herself. Because you ARE the ex the father of her child(ren) it will be harder for her to take your advice. For what ever reason... the trust factor you once share is gone. If you are still friends with her family, maybe CAREFULLY you can talk with someone SHE trusts to wake her up. Good luck & I pray that you have the child(ren) No child needs to see the stress in a home.

Answer 5

She was never raped, it is not possible to love someone who rapes you. By its very nature you will have strong feelings of hate for such a person. She lied to you my dear, that is an outright lie.

Maybe your friend is going a little coo-coo, how else can it be explained? Or maybe she is being threatened by this person....you never know.

Don't try to understand it, it will blow your mind! But she may need HELP!

Answer 6

In my opinion, she's lying about the rape. She should feel hatred and not love for this man. If she was already in a relationship and then claimed the man raped her, that may be why. Did she file charges on this man? If not, you know she probably made it up.

Answer 7

I was raped and never forgave him for doing it. I think the other women might take their anger out on the other person because they're just there.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

the reason wven i dont know truthfully but i think that the reason is because she never had a kid with them and mabe she found him attractive