how can i make my husband care about me?

Question

I want him to spoil me as I spoil him, we have been married for 4 years now and we have a boy and a girl.

Answer 1

sugar you can't make anybody care more about you then they want to. No matter the length of time you have been together they will either care more for you on there own or they won't. Spoiling someone doesn't mean that you care that means you can buy them off and having your husband doing that isn't what your going to want in the long run. I know some men do the whole swooning thing in the beginning and it does slack off but women and men are so different we women are more emotional than some men and what your husband is doing he may think that you are spoiled you have him, 2 beautiful children, a home and him sleeping beside you at night. Try to look at what he does that you may not notice wright off hand try to find the little things first.Give it time don't rush it that will push him away people don't like being forced and you can't force this, it could be unhealthy for your relationship in the long run.

Answer 2

Thats not a very good question. The question should be to yourself Why would you want to be with someone that you have to make care about you. If hes your husband he should already care about you deeply. If you want to be spoiled thats a different thing spoil and care are very different talk to him about your needs concerning being spoiled and how you would like it. Give him examples of how you spoil him and he may reciprocate.

Answer 3

You have to come out and just tell him...
Start communicating about those things right now!

Tell him you want to be spoiled that you would really like it if he surprised you w/ little things.
Guys don't communicate the same way we do, so you need to make sure he isn't doing things in his own way that you aren't noticing.

Does he take you out to eat?
Does he ask you if you want to go out or see a movie?
Does he help clean the house, or bathe the children at night for you?
Does he fix broken things around the house?

If he does those things then he does care about you, his family, and maybe is just want to chill when at home, and doesn't realize that your feeling aren't being met.

So, tell him.

Although,, it make take telling him, over, and over, and over,,before it sinks in.
( i know!~ I have been married for 21yrs!)

Answer 4

You don't!! When you guys married eachother there should have been an understanding that you guys loved and cared for eachother. You shouldn't have to stress over him, it's called divorce. Furthermore, if he is your husband why do you have question about him caring about you. You need ito grow up and spoil yourself, they say you are suppose to do things out of your heart without expecting something in return, I bet your husband does not even know you think this way, talk to him!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Have you ever told him how you feel about this area of your lives together? It sounds like he is simply taking you for granted and because you continue to do all things for him, he's not under any impression to do things for you as well.

In our household, when first married, our rule to one another (and we have few such ones with each other) was to treat each other with respect, dignity, love, understanding, always ensure the load whatever it was, would be divided between us.

He has always done things for me that I never expected...I've had more things lavished upon me than I'm probably deserving of :) but in return I do the same for him...albeit I don't quite go as extensive at times.

You entered the marriage as partners, however, the partnership has changed significantly...you need to get it back to an equal base and that will take work.

Stopping what you are doing is not going to make him turn around and say "Oh, geeze, I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention...let me do it all for you for a change", and it will be interesting to see if that is the route you go, how it all works out in the end. Perhaps it would...but I have my suspicions it wouldn't and would simply make both of you upset with the other.

I really suggest talking with him, one night over wine, candles and no children...off they go to grandparents or caregiver for a night. Then a real heart to heart with each other...he may actually not realize any of what he is or isn't doing. No accusatory words or tones, simply telling it like it is and allowing him to say his thing...then coming to a middle ground. Some guys sometimes don't think ahead about things...and they simply think that you do everything because you enjoy doing it. He may not think its right for him to try and take away any of this from you...meanwhile you wish he would treat you as you treat him...he needs to know this.

He may come from a background where the wife was the sole keeper of the home but where she had little say in finances, how kids where disciplined, or whether he even came home at night. ...so at four years marriage there is still time to turn the cart around and get it back in the right direction.

If talking doesn't work and there isn't an understanding and change...even a small one here and there...then either read up on the psychology of a marriage and how to fix it or go to a Marriage Counsellor (although I don't normally go anywhere to pay for advise that I could find on my own...so the reason why I say read up on it first and save some money).

Open discussion, no blame, no finger pointing, simple facts, feelings about the situation and discussing ways to correct it. As I said he may not even realize what is happening. You are not attacking him...you are discussing some areas of his ations/non action ways and trying to ensure that resentment from either of you doesn't cloud all the issues and send the entire marriage into a fit. He may well have issues with you that he hasn't mentioned before, a mellow discussion...powerful solutions.

Good luck, hope all works out for you regardless what method you choose to use.

Take care

Answer 6

You can't make anyone do anything. All you can do is talk about your wants and needs and see if he does anything. Stop spoiling him...maybe he'll get the hint.

Answer 7

Stop paying any attention to him, and pour all your love just on the kids. He might start to see what it feels like, and get the hint!


And if not, then well you'll just have to face the reality that you married him the way he was won't you!!!!

Answer 8

I know this may be hard but you have to sit down and talk to him.Tell him how you feel and why you feel this way. I hope this helps

Answer 9

It is too late what he has never done he never will then if you stop then if you stop he will not be able to adjust to it

Answer 10

You can lead a horse to water; but you can not make it drink.