iv had 4 serious relationships lasting around about a year and a half on average, i really thought i loved my first (Tom) and last (Mark) and did all i possibly could for them...
only for it not to work out and to be cheated on..
the two in between (Gareth and Ben) were angels the sort of men any girl would love to marry, but not me i cheated on both of them...
why does one person always feel stronger than the other?
2006-08-14 02:39:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
one partner usually dominates
2006-08-14 02:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by cirdellin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without equality a relationship will probably run into trouble. At different points one person may seem stronger and more able to cope than another, but that isn't always a bad thing because you can support eachother in times of need.
There is a difference however between supporting eachother and dominating eachother. People often get into relationships which turn co- dependant and feed eachothers neuroses, and they generally do this because they aren't as self confidant as they could be.
I think you are quite young and at a young age, people are busy trying to figure themselves out. You're going to mess up, but you will learn along the way. As you get older you will become more comfortable with yourself. Most young people have no idea what they really want which is why they have a hard time finding it and can have turbulent relationships. There is no wrong or right as far as this is concerned, but it's generally the way things are.
I'm not saying that everything suddenly becomes crystal clear when you get older, all I am saying is that life will throw you lessons and only a foolish person learns nothing from experience.
You seem like a thoughtful person, but don't dwell on it too much!
good luck
S
x
2006-08-14 09:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't always work out that one person feels stronger than the other. Actually, in almost all case, it won't work if the the relationship isn't balanced. The person you are with should be just as crazy about you as you are about them. In the case of your second and third boyfriends, maybe you felt like you didn't really deserve to be treated well and thats why you cheated on them, sort of sabatoging your relationships. Sometimes when we don't know what we want, we think that we feel a certain way about other people, but looking back we realize we were wrong. If you looked back at your first and last relationship and thought hard, you might find that they weren't really giving you what you really needed in a relationship. Though you might have thought you loved them, it might have been more about wanting what you can't have, in that case, having the love you deserve. I know its hard, but you just have to be in touch with what is important to you and not settle for anything less.
2006-08-14 09:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very interesting question! Here's my take on it... Gareth and Ben were "too good" to be true so you self sabotaged your relationships. Tom and Mark were men that would probably never treat you right and you really thought your "love" could change them. If you loved them enough it would work, right? Girl you sound so much like me about 15 years ago...*wink* Your heart wants the right guy....but for some reason you dont feel you deserve it so you sabotage it. My guess is that it has something to do with your Father. When our relationships are off with our fathers we get unrealistic ideals of what a man should be in a relationship. You are ahead of the game in that you are questioning "why" My advice, sweet girl, is to learn to love and respect yourself and really focus on YOU. You ARE worthy of love and respect and a great relationship. Oh, also, what has really helped me is I made a list of things (qualities) that were important to me for a mate to have. for some reason once I had it in writing it helped me to weed out ones who simply did not match up to what I needed for a relationship. I know this got a little long, sure hope it helped hon! My best wishes to you!! *hugs*
2006-08-14 09:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Joeygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal...in every relationship you have a giver and a taker. Uhh, let's see...the taker in a relationship is usually the one not taking the relationship as serious because they take for granted that the "giver" is going to be there. It sounds like you have been in both of these roles so, you know how much it hurts the "giver" when their partner appears to be ambivolent and in the long run does something that is hard to take. It's easier to break this cycle for people that have been in both roles...next time an "angel" comes along, consciously think about what it was like to be in those shoes and maybe you will appreciate it better.
2006-08-14 09:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by stall_out 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always the way chick. The one you love the most will hurt you the most and the ones you love less will love you more.
Ive been there chick had my heart broke several times so i thought i would go for a bloke i loved less. We had some great times and very bad times. I started to love him loads still do but our relationship run its course and after 2 1/2 yrs ended! Im now wiv a guy that loves me loads and loads and im starting to love him back! But i know what might come?? ............. Its a fact of life, one of you will always have stronger feelings for the other! If we all had equal feelings then there would never be break ups!!
2006-08-14 09:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your a slave from the start katie, theres where the rot starts you should always see each others point of view and dont always be there for him to snap his fingers and you come running the partnership must be equal and laugh at each others jokes do the same things together if an argument comes about dont let it linger make up as soon as possible, you most probably find if that all works you have found the one for you, but at least your honest. you did find two good guys and you cheated so now you've got what you deserve, i imagine your on your ownsome, lonely isn't it
2006-08-14 10:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOTHING in the REAL world is EVER equal. Equality is a pile of manure that is sold to the public at large. We can attain NEAR equality, but the fact of the matter is, in reality, there is ALWAYS a more powerful, more charismatic and more intelligent partner in EVERY relationship. There must be to ensure survival of the species.
2006-08-14 09:58:18 · answer #8 · answered by Enough 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If thats the case then you weren't in a genuine, solid, relationship (sorry to be harsh but if your relationship was sold it wouldn't have ended)
A genuine relationship is more like a partnership. It isn't about two people being equal or bringing equal things to the relationship. Its about those differences coming together to make a whole - if you understand me.
2006-08-14 11:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to ask myself the same thing with every serious relationship I've had. But when you find the one, there is equal love and trust. I never thought I would find it either, I'm still surprised that I finally did, but it does exist. When you're REALLY in love, it will be equal.
2006-08-14 09:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by kt367521 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only show that love is not present in thta relationship beacuse if in a relationship both of the two partner play their part properly. It is a real RELATIONSHIP.
2006-08-14 11:01:13 · answer #11 · answered by a comedian yet very sensous man. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋