how do you get over someone after 22yrsand 4 grown children HELP?

Answer 1

Ouch! Knew a fine guy who went through the same thing and relied on his religion; kept busy. Time is on your side. It took about a year of keeping in touch with friends and doing things, but he is making it.

Answer 2

Starting life over stinks.
Whether you or he initiated the breakup doesn't matter. It still hurts. But if you are the one that was wronged, it makes an even deeper wound.

You need to allow time to grieve the loss of your marriage. Let the healing process do it's job. Expect mood & emotional swings. Try not to become too anti-social.

It will take you time to be able to love & trust again. And when you decide to take the chance, go slow. You may even have a 'rebound' relationship first, so don't get too upset that it doesn't work out. Hopefully you have a good friend who will help you through this. If not, you might want to get a little counselling. There should be agencies in your town that have good counselors at little or no cost. Check with your Dr. or another reliable source.
If your thoughts begin to turn suicidal, get help IMMEDIATELY.

You know something this painful is a learning experience, so do just that. Learn. As you heal you will do ALOT of reflection, or at least you should. See where the mistakes were made so they aren't repeated again in a new relationship.
Good luck.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear this, I am sure you will find this difficult, however you must try to move on, take up a new hobby, meet up with friends for coffee, but be careful not to become a bore by always talking about your ex. Take comfort in your children, who I am sure are also feeling somewhat upset by this situation, but please do not expect them to take sides and never run your ex down to them.
Try to smile and with time I am sure things will improve for you.