How can I make myself happier about a new baby?

Question

I am a mother of two great children and married to a wonderful man who is an amazing father to my children. I have just found out that I am pregnant again. This will be my husbands first biological child and he is thrilled and very happy about it. I on the otherhand am just very upset about the timing of this as I have just started my ownbusiness and don't feel like i could handle three small children. I am completely against abortion and adoption (for myself) and I will have the baby, but I am feeling so down about it that I really could use some help trying to figure out how I could be happier about it and get excited like my husband. Thanks.

I would also like to add that most of my worries and things that I am upset over are the fact that we are struggling to make it as we are with money and such, so it just seems like it's impossibly to ever get ahead, and this sets up back even more. I know I have responsibilities to take care of and I will do the best that I can, but it's diffacult thinking ahead since we live in a three bedroom trailer in the midle of nowhere, and my car is too small to fit three children in it at once. I cant sell my car because it is in someone elses name and I cant afford a new one. My house feels like it is falling apart- the roof leaks among other things. Its just so stressful and I don't know if I can make it through all of this,

Answer 1

You know you will work it out. I would feel horribe if I got pregnant now also. However God has a time and a purpose for everything and just know your baby is coming now because he has a purpose for that baby you have growing inside of you. Good Luck in that and your new buisness!

Answer 2

if i were you, i would look into the different organizations that help families out with financial difficulties. there is so much help avaliable out there, and people who need it usually miss out because they dont know that it exists. just do some research, and you will find someone to help with things such as home repair and finances. on the subject of being happy about the baby itself, it is understandable to feel the way you do right now, you are stressed already and you have a lot on your plate. but you should pat yourself on the back for ruling out abortion, and also adoption since it is your husband's first biological child. consider yourself lucky that you have a man who is willing to be excited no matter what, even though you are going through some rough patches. lots of women won't ever know what it is like to have a partner like that. just give it some time, and take things day by day. that's all you really can do. that and look at the positive things, instead of focusing on the negative things, that should make you more excited!!

Answer 3

Oh honey I so sympathize with you!!!! I have 6 children ( 3 - 18) and let me tell you the timing was NEVER right. But you know what? Its the most precious gift. Imagine all the smiles and laughter your 2 children have brought to you. Now you have another one to do the same. God does have a reason for this child and let me tell you it will be amazing. Please try to enjoy your pregnancy and not to mention how much closer you and hubby will be with this being his FIRST biological child. If he's as wonderful as you say?, you should want nothing more than to watch as he is astounded by every aspect of your pregnancy, birth, and child rearing. At least you know now what you have to do to get your business together enough for when the baby is born. Your business won't suffer from a new baby, I'll bet that your 2 children and "Dad" can take care of the new baby enough for you to keep your business going. Don't be discouraged look instead at all the blessings yet to come. Good Luck and try to relax it WILL all come together!!!

Answer 4

Seems like a crazy life to bring kids into, but the human race has survived in all sorts of environments and under adverse conditions, so it's possible. We wouldn't be here otherwise.

Since I do agree with abortion and contraception I really can't help you with your problem. You really haven't left yourself with any options, have you? If you would consider an abortion, you could develop your business, move into a house, and then consider extending the family when the time is right.

I do feel empathy for you, though. A person does have to have their values, and I am not judging yours. Good luck, and don't forget to seek help. You're not alone, others are struggling too. Maybe they can offer some practical advice, as I clearly cannot.

Answer 5

I commend you on not taking the easy road and having an abortion, as allot of people in your situation may do. I think that it is mostly stress from you trying to get your business up and going then finding out that there will be another baby. Why not put your business on hold, just for a while, and use your money for your new business, for your new baby. I do find myself wondering, if you didn't want a baby as strongly as you feel, why weren't you and your husband using some form of birth control, or for that matter, more than one? Either way, good luck and I hope you never show these feelings toward this baby when it gets here.....you may need to speak to a professional!

Answer 6

A little of what you are feeling is the hormones. They tend to make everything fall in on you at once.
Remember these words when the baby is born too.
Ask for help.
Do you go to church? Many of them have support groups for moms, or "lunch bunch" or something. See if you can find one of those. Some offer finantial assistance for groceries. That's what my friend needed when her husband was injured at work, before his benefits kicked in, and with 3 kids to feed.
Consider public assistance. It is a little shameful, but temporary. There may be programs to fix the house or something. It's worth looking into at least.
Get your friends involved. Tell them you need some kid free time and would they go out with you? Doesn't have to be fancy, go for coffee or lunch. Leave all the kids with dear hubby.
Take some time each day. To relax, breath and meditate if you don't pray. Make the kids respect this time or wait until they are asleep.
Think about the miracle of new life. You are carrying a child that has never been seen before. It has never experienced grass or puppies, or wind. You will be showing that baby everything this world has to offer. The innocence of a baby is uplifting, maybe you could visit one somewhere, just to remind yourself of the good stuff.
Good luck to you and I will say a prayer for you and your family.

Answer 7

Think about it this way: imagine if, right now, you found out that you weren't pregnant. Now how do you feel? If you feel happy about 'not being pregnant', then try to picture having a cute, new baby in the family. Your other kids will love the new 'doll', and you and your husband will feel closer after you see this baby that YOU created. It'll probably bring the whole family closer together, everyone will feel as though he\she had some part in making this baby. Try to think of the materialistic things as second on the list of what's important in the coming months, think of making this baby the most loved baby in the world as the first thing on this list. I wish you luck!

Answer 8

Life seems to always had us a crappy deal when we're already down....getting kicked in the teeth so to speak. Although I am not nor will I be in the future...preg. But I have had 2 children and had to raise them alone after their father was murdered in 1980..we lived in extreme poverty...I worked two very hard jobs to feed them and keep them with a roof over their head. once we lived in a trailor with hole all over the floor....but it was better than nothing.....what I'm trying to say is that you have to take it one day at a time and deal with just that day...tomorrow will have its own anxities....get through the birth and see where to go from there. You are depressed right now and worried....and its been proven that how the mother acts while carring the child is how the child will be,so think positive...live for today,and watch for oportunities that will come your way...nothing is doomed unless we give up and give in.

Answer 9

I understand!!! When i got pregnant 6 yrs. ago with my twins i thought that i would rather die because everything was in shambles. I didn't have a job i was in school and raising one child already by myself, but i knew i just could not have an abortion. I cried every day with the thought of raising two more children alone until one day i went to the doc. in they told me that one of the twins might die because it wasn't getting enough oxygen or blood flow then it came to me that i don't know what god has in store for me or my unborn children. thank god i didn't lose her(one of the twins)and everything turned out find. I think if i had lost either one of them i would not been able to handle it(especially after losing my first born at the age of 9) I just thought if i lived through the death of my first born daughter i sure as hell can live through the life of twins. In other words just add another cup of water to the soup! You will make it! Just pray and believe. If i did it so can you! Good luck & God bless!

P.S. Proud & Happy that I'm doing it by myself!!!!

Answer 10

It's ok to feel down. If your husband seems hurt about your feelings, just tell him that it is the hormones. Then send him out to fetch you ice cream. (This is his first baby, he'll believe anything.)
After two children, you are an expert mommy. I ran three businesses out of my home while raising two babies. It can be done. You can do this! (And you have 9 months to convince yourself of that.)

P.S. Your husband's family will surely want to throw you a shower. For my second baby, I asked for a stock the freezer shower. All the guests made a casserole or dinner, froze it and brought it instead of baby stuff. It was just the help I needed to get through that first month.

Answer 11

I was just devestated when that second line appeared with my 2nd child, I felt so awful at feeling so bad about being pregnant. I came around as I got further into the pregnancy and started buying things for the baby. Once I started feeling her kick I started to get excited instead of being upset about it. As a mom I'm sure you'll start to come around on your own and soon you'll be anticipating the birth with excitement. However.. if you continue to feel really bad you may want to talk to your OB about depression.