My wife and I just recently found out that she is pregnant. To my suprise she said that she wants an abortion. is there anyway I can stop this? What would you do in this situation? We had been looking towards having a baby of our own but I am not for sure what to think now. Should I leave or should I stay?
2006-08-14 02:12:11 · 40 answers · asked by John 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You were BOTH looking forward to having a baby of your own? Are you sure? Because if you were both looking forward to it, and now she's pregnant but wants an abortion, I would say there's a good chance that she's terrified that if she has the baby then you will find out it's not yours.
Warning flags are going off all over with this one.
Now, as for your question about stopping her from having an abortion. Nope -- you can't. Legally, it's her body and her choice. But if she has the abortion, I would say that's the end to your marriage. And if she has the child, I would urge you to insist on a paternity test.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 02:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by kja63 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I cant tell you if you should leave or stay. I would leave if she was to go through with it. Look at it, you too are married that should mean something. Y'all aren't just any couple off the streets. I think she needs to think about it again. Then on the other hand yo u have to look at it from her point of view as well. Maybe she think that you all are not ready financially. Give it some time and if she still doesn't change, just remember ever thing happens for a reason and never question Gods decision.
I hope that every thing turns out right.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-14 02:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
IMHO please talk together more. If abortion is the right thing you will know but give it more talking. She must be afraid of something. Do you think you have enough money for a child now? Does she have a career she thinks will be disrupted? How is your relationship do you love each other very much? If the answers are that you have enough money and she won't mind staying at home a while, and if you love each other I think you can get her to change her mind. Maybe she is waiting for you to say how much you want a baby? (If you do decide on abortion let it be as a last resort and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it, but do it in an early trimester.) Good luck to both of you.
2006-08-14 02:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You really need to sit down and talk to each other on why she wants to abort? I don't think you could stop this because she could just as easily go to a Dr.'s office & have it done without your consent & or knowledge, which would be pretty messed up if she did. If the both of both, as you see it, have been looking to have a child of your own, I think you should look into the possibiklity that the child MAY (and I say that with caution) not be yours. You need to open up the communication in your relationship and find out what is going on. Talk don't jump to conclusions.
2006-08-14 02:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this baby is your breaking point then the choice has already been made by your wife.
When you get married the principles, morals, and ideals of two should become one united front, yet if something this big is coming between you, only UNemotional discussion will ever bridge the gap. You need to understand why she thinks she needs to get an abortion. And you need to understand why you think you need a child, both ideas weighted and measured, you should make this choice as a couple, not as individuals.
2006-08-14 02:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by magerious 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do your best to convince her to have the child and to raise it with you. There is nothing you can do if she has already made up her mind.
If you can't then you need to contact an attorney and fill out a division of property form and file it with a petition for divorce. It seems that filing first is best for the man because there are automatic things that happen when she files first, like a restraining order and such. They just do that automatically.
If she doesn't want to have your children then you should not feel guilty about not wanting to lilve with her or support her. You will, but you'll get over it.
2006-08-14 02:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by Cattlemanbob 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should try to understand why. Maybe she's afraid of the whole pregnancy, labour etc. thing and you should consult a doctor to allay her fears. You should also tell her that you will help out with the baby more than she thinks (she might think it'll all be left to her to cope) and you should tell her that its your baby too and you don't want a dead baby on your hands. Tell her that if she feels so horrible about the baby, that she should have it and you will leave with the kid, so she won't have to face motherhood. But if she falls in love with the baby, then you will stay with her and the baby and be a real family together.
2006-08-14 02:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is her body. But you are her husband. At the time you two both wanted a child. Just try and talk to her and let her know that your input is really needed in this situation. Has she told you why she wants an abortion? Think of her thoughts as well as yours also.
2006-08-14 02:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by spice2621 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my first thought, is it possible this baby is not yours?
you said wife-looking forward-i'm sorry to hear this
more sorry to say thism but you need to let her have the abortion if that's what she wants. if she is the type that hates to gain weight or hates fat ppl in general, she will do whatever it takes not to gain weight, even being pregnant. i had a friend who was denying herself food when pregnant in fear of getting fat, we were going to deliver about 1 1/2 mos. apart-me going first-but she ended up having her baby 3 weeks before mine and i was 2 weeks early myself, she would starve for 2-3 days before chocking down a few bites of food. if you are in this situation, get out and get her some professional help before even trying to raise a child. that's even more stressful if the baby makes it ok, the guilt of neglecting you pregnancy. she is her own person and you should give her the respect to make this decision herself. i know it's heartbreaking, but in the end it will be better.
2006-08-14 02:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's a choice that the two of you must discuss with each other, irrespective of the fact that she is the bearer.bringing a child into this world requires a great deal of responsibility.are you, personally, ready to assume it?apart from the religious aspects, you should do what you think is right, no matter what others tell you, the truth lies within yourselves.use protection the next time, for crying out loud, an abortion is still a crime.you definitely shouldn't leave her, you contributed to the making!why didn't u protect ya'self?it's your fault too.
2006-08-14 02:21:43 · answer #10 · answered by nycthantes k 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋