At a close friend's birthday party, my best friend's long-time (5yrs off and on) boyfriend described (in detail) his long attraction to me and solicited a sexual affair. I've never liked this fellow very much and was horrified. I am a very loyal friend and wife and feel this guy has betrayed both my husband, his friend, and my best friend, his girlfriend. Should I tell my husband and/or best friend? If I do, social situations will be a nightmare for awhile and my best friend and husband will be really hurt. If I don't, I will be uncomfortable around my husband and friend for some time and feel they both are spending time with someone totally false. Any advice?
2006-08-14 02:01:55 · 8 answers · asked by Brian R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, absolutely. Your husband will want to know, and it will get the weight off your chest to tell him. He may also have some advice for you on how to tell your best friend.
As to your best friend... she's been with this guy for 5 years. Now, he not only is looking to cheat on her, but is asking someone else - you - to be unfaithful as well. This may be the hardest thing for a friend to do because, honey, you know that if she reacts badly to finding out it can hurt your friendship. But if she's your best friend then that means you love her, and do you really want someone you care about to be unknowingly in a relationship with someone who is going to cheat on her?
Imagine not telling your husband and your best friend, and imagine them finding out that this guy propositioned you. How could you explain your silence? That would implicate you as much as him.
No, I believe that while there are sometimes where it is kinder not to tell someone something that might hurt, this is a case where the truth, handled delicately, is definitely the best policy.
Don't hesitate to tell you husband, and together find a way to tell your friend.
Good luck to you, and I hope that everything works out in the end.
2006-08-14 02:24:50 · answer #1 · answered by barnett811 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and speak up about this because you become just like this guy if you keep this thing a secret. Your friend and husband will look and admire you more because you didn't try to hide this from both of them even though you didn't do anythng wrong. If they find out down the road in some way they will wonder why you never came out and said something in the first place. If you love your husband and friend very much then you would be honest and upfront about this no matter how bad things are going to get. I know you don't want to start anything, but the truth is, something has already started with this. Your friend doesn't deserve someone like this. You as a friend should be looking out for her in this way. It will hurt her, but in the long run she will be better off. Your husband deserves all of your loyalty. It's not about sweeping things under the rug just to make everyone else around happy. Life does this to us sometimes, but we just have to get through these things and move on. You will feel so much better after you get this out, otherewise you will feel like your carrying the biggest weight around with you. Once you let this go you will feel so much better, I can guarantee you that. I sincerely hope things work out with this situation for all of you.
2006-08-14 02:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!! I chose not to do this when this same thing happened, and my friend found out...and was so mad at me for not being honest with her. We didnt talk for 4 months and now that we are talking again...its not the same...very safe topics..weather, kids, work, thats it.
2006-08-14 02:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a mini recorder and record his proposition, tell him after that you did it and for him to get lost or you will xpose him for the dog that he is. if you tell your husband it will open a can of worms you will be asked 2 many ?s.
2006-08-14 02:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by coolcherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confide in your husband... if you tell your friend, she is likely to not believe you, your hubby will... tell the guy that you do NOT like him, and if he EVER says something that Disgusting to you again, you will drag him kicking and screaming to her and MAKE him confess...
2006-08-14 02:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband, but dont do anything more to hurt the mans reputation.
people get horny.
2006-08-14 02:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Fowl Language 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell your bestfriend first and then tell your husband that's only fair to both of them
2006-08-14 02:17:39 · answer #7 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
choose not to,,but insist that you and your husband avoid calling him to parties..if that fails,,,you just yourself dont go there..
2006-08-14 02:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by qwerty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋