He tells how he is tired,and he goes to bed before i can go...What should i do?Heeeelp!!!
2006-08-14 01:29:10 · 17 answers · asked by Maja M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just because he's tired dosen't mean he cheating, How long has this been going on, If it only a week to a month, he may have someting going at work that is draining him (not another woman). If its longer, you two do need to talk becuase it may be something in the relationship that is making him tired. Because men have a one track mind we like to work on things untill there compleated, if he has a problem in the relationship, because he's too afraid to bring it up, he's working on it in his head and probly isn't having much success at resolving it.
Go and get something really sexy, set the mood when he gets home. Greet him at the door in your sexy outfit (even if it means wearing it all day), When he walk's in the door, escort him to his seat. Draw him a bath, put him in it and wash him (good opportunity to give him a massage to help relax him. Pull him out and by this point he should be putty in your hands. Do what you want with him and, if you want to, keep the sexy outfit on and go about your daily rutine only with a more sexual attitude. (If you bend to check the roste in the oven, slowly run you hand down your leg and stick our butt way out, If he's behind you, look at him sentously over your sholder and wiggle your butt at him) This, I would say would most certenly get him in the mood.
2006-08-14 01:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by honest guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he's just tired or very stressed and his sex drive is down. There are natural ebbs and flows in people's libidos as I'm sure you've noticed in yours sometimes.
Playboy did an infidelity survey a while back and found that almost across the board when people were cheating (given lack of sex at home wasn't the reason for straying in the first place) they had more sex with their spouse then usual. It's like the outside sex "sexxed-up" their primary relationship.
2006-08-14 08:49:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he has an incompatible sex drive to you at the moment.
Do you still have sex? Or is it a "total ban" on sex?
Could be for many reasons.
As others suggest, maybe he just has no libido at the moment. Too much work, alcohol, drugs or various other medical issues could cause this.
He might also not think you're as attractive sexually as you once were.
Think you need to discuss with hiim what is wrong. Maybe you need to spice things up to try and get him interested in you again.
(Yes he could have found someone else, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt at this point in time unless you have concrete evidence that he is cheating).
2006-08-14 08:48:14 · answer #3 · answered by ◄ Mal ► 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have a lover, or he may not. There can be many reasons for a loss of sex drive. I would suggest kindly to him that he should go to a doctor for a complete exam. Could be that he is just overworked, depressed, or experiencing prostate problems.
2006-08-14 08:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ms understood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely definitely communicate to him that not making love any longer is not going to work for you. Ask him why, be understanding and ask questions. Make the conversation as comfortable for him as possible . . . is he watching porn by himself a lot and pleasuring himself alone? Ask to join him if that's the case . . . he may like the idea.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 08:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby and I have went through something simular to this. We went to the Dr. and found out most of the meds. weare both on caused our problem. Stress was also a factor (teenager). Don't accuse untill you know for sure it will cause a real problem in your partnership.
2006-08-14 08:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by Becky H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are separated now and it is mainly because I could not open up to her. I love her dearly but was never ever to overcome my fear of rejecting and my insecurities about myself to let her see the real me. I was always afraid that I was never good enough and that anything I did – from planning surprise vacations to performing in the bedroom - would not be good enough. So instead of trying harder, I tried less. You can’t “fail” if you don’t try. You can’t be “rejected” by your wife if you don’t pursue her. You can’t be inadequate in bed if you don’t have sex. Now that we have talked and I have explained all this to her, the anxiety seems really stupid. Things are less scary once you say them. As much as it kills me, for us it looks like it is too late.
Maybe your husband has the same type of anxiety. Perhaps he is so afraid that you will not like the answer that he gives you when you ask what’s wrong that it will make you leave. I have been doing a lot of soul searching since the separation and found a great article that really spoke to me. Here is part of it:
“It feels good when our partners agree with and validate us, but you can't count on it. If you demand it, you can land in the crazy conundrum that creates eternal insecurity: We put a spin on what we reveal about ourselves in order to get the response we want. Then we can never feel secure with those who accept us because we know they don't really know us. When you are willing to validate yourself, you can afford to let your partner know you as you are. You stop presenting yourself the way you want to be seen, and you just disclose with no other goal than being truly known.
Self-validated intimacy sounds like: "I want you to know me before I die. I want to share with you my days, which would otherwise be less meaningful. It would be nice if you agreed with me, wonderful if you liked me. But most of all I want to know that somebody really knew who and what I am. More than I fear your rejection I fear never reaching across my mortality, which separates me from you and others. I will care for my own feelings, Just know me--including my sexuality."
This was me. I never felt comfortable enough to just let my wife know who I am and what my desires were. Perhaps he wants to tell you all his desires but is afraid you will think less of him. Tell him you need to talk. Tell him you love him and tell him you won’t judge him. Let him know there is nothing he could ask you that would make you love him less. Tell him that it is OK if he wants to have a threesome, or if he wants “rough” sex or whatever it is he is afraid to tell you. Tell him you might not agree to it or you might. Either way let him know that you understand that his fantasies are natural and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Who knows – maybe his deepest “sickest” fantasy is one of yours as well.
2006-08-14 11:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by Steven H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either he doesn't believe in having sex with anyone now, or he doesn't find you attractive, or he's waiting for something. Time for a talk.
2006-08-14 08:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and ask him what going on.. he either serious not having fun sex with you or he either seeing someone better than you and not sure how he will do this to leave you or something smiling.
2006-08-14 11:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup, he is with another lover
he doesn't want to spend any time with you at all
better follow him around and find out for sure
2006-08-14 08:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋