My fiance and I have had a really rough time of it lately by probs that are really nothing to do with us. We are just now starting to get our relationship back to where we want to be but the thing is that, sometimes it seems that we take two steps forward and then four steps back. We love each other and always do our best to talk things out but lately talking doesn't seem to be working. I am a very visual person and need to see results and my fiance is very practical. Do you have any other suggestions on what we could do?? Please, no sarcastic answers - this means a lot to me....
2006-08-14 00:01:59 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
take a two week break out of the country together - leave phones at home and go with the intention of sorting everything out. being on holiday will make light of many past things and can often be a catalyst for a fresh start.
talk openly (not argue) about issues you have with each other and the issues around you that are affecting your relationship and what each of you can do about dealing with them.
if you do love each other things will right themsleves with a little effort from you both. concentrate on the important things in life.
2006-08-14 00:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by BigBoy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Visual and practical sounds a lot the same to me. Without knowing exactly what the problem is, it's very hard to offer advice. But you both sound like you need to have a proactive approach to dealing with the fact your relationship is stalling.
Whatever the issue is, talking about it obviously isn't solving anything. If the problem is outside of your control, then you need to break away from it - in other words, dump the mates, the scene, the work, the area wherever it's happening. Do something drastically different, to put a new edge on your relationship, and find a way of leaving these problems behind.
And yes, don't exect overnight results. It may be one of those things where you are one day looking back on this bad patch before you realise you have made your way out of it. Good luck.
2006-08-14 00:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by Vix 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you guys are up to it go to counseling. Maybe they can get one of you to talk about something that one of you is not letting out or that may not seem like a problem. Or try to write things down that trouble you. Don't let problems keep coming up. If it's been discussed just say We've solved this problem and unless something has changed there is no need to go over it again. I know that's easier said then done. But that's what we had to do. Most of our four steps backwards was letting things keep coming up that we had already settled. I hope everything goes well. Good Luck. I can tell you love her.
2006-08-14 00:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by meb2fine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do agree with the 1st person who answered your question.Take a break and think over your problem.Try to find out,who is wrong among you two,as objectively as possible.Then make a list of your all possible solutions(literally).Check your list,each alternative,carefully for the likelihood of possible consequences.This will help you to reach some practical solution that could be acceptable for you both.You may ask your fiance to do the same and then both of you can compare your list of alternatives.I hope this will help in solving your problem.
2006-08-14 00:20:15 · answer #4 · answered by slpfarhat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try doing things together? If you do, then how about doing things you didn't do before. Try new activities. Breakfast in bed each in turn, massage, manicure & pedicure, combing each others hair (if you do have hair), writing small love poems to each other. Try as best as possible to do these things when you two are alone in the house. Then as you are each participating, talk. Talk about what you want, find ideas of other new activities you would do each day, and please do look forward for the next day to start something new.
2006-08-14 00:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by booboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting things out of your control affect you? You are a visual person and he is practical. Combine those to come up with a way that works for you both. Stop letting the outside in. And the best advice i ahve seen is for you to go on holiday for two weeks no interuptions
2006-08-14 00:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by Noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you done premarital councelling as a couple? Alot of churches will offer this type of thing. It will help you both think about questions you've possibly not considered. Things like kids, discipline, work ethics, personal values, religious preferences. If you can't be in agreement now, it would be a disaster to marry until you are both on the same page about whatever the trouble is.
2006-08-14 00:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax and give yourselves time. I know everybody wants results, but in a relationship it's sometimes less important to get results than the way you get there. I can only tell you - breathe deep and try to enjoy what you do have. One step at a time, you'll still get there, hurrying things will only make you miserable.
2006-08-14 00:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without knowing the external situations it's really hard to give a complete answer. But if you feel that you are going around and around and nothing is happening, why not take a break and step back from the situation.
It's also great to get counselling.
2006-08-14 00:04:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kitia_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relax and take it easy. spend some time alone together (by that I mean just the two of you) and see what happens.
if you can't afford to go away somewhere, tell people that you are and don't leave your home for a few days. spend time together, cook for each other and remember why you fell in love.
try not to put pressure on each other to make it work.
2006-08-14 00:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by sarah_roo03 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋