i feel this will ruin our relationship, i can't get over it and if i'd known before i would not be with him. where is the self-respect ...i don;t want to see answers like, "if you love him ..."
2006-08-13 20:21:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, 'not me but you' those kinds of answers do not help, it's not about being picky that is something i already know. i love him, yes. do i like his stand? no. so F*** U!
2006-08-13 20:25:29 · update #1
he said he would still have a 1 nite stand, if he wasn't with me. but that still bothers me because he thinks it's okay and it isn't.
2006-08-13 20:28:22 · update #2
i kinda had the same experiance but with a GF instead. i knew she had done stuff in her past that i would never expect or do myself but i loved her and got over it. it wasnt easy to ignore that stuff but you just need to tell yourself that he wasnt with you then and w/e he did back then was his choice. as for the disgust, theres not much you can do about that. only time will make you stop feeling that. that incident will only ruin the relationship if you want it to or if u let it. i hope you dont use that as an excuse to break up with him but it doesnt seem like that so w/e. good luck i hope that helped.
2006-08-13 20:26:56 · answer #1 · answered by failurbydsign427 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of them is nothing more than a big mistake, and if you're such an unforgiving person that a person can't make a mistake then you will never find love. If he has a history of them, then you're right, it does show a lack of self-respect. Even still, that may be part of his past, not his present or future. Have you honestly never done anything wrong? Even if that's true, trust me, you will do in the future. If you expect him to stand by you in the future when things get tough, you better at least ba able to get over mistakes of his past. Besides, what about the value of being with somebody who has been there and learned for themselves that it's not right for them? He's had a one night stand in the past and learned that he's not that kind of person, you've never been tested so how's he supposed to know what you;re really made of? So you have something to deal with, and he also has something to deal with.
2006-08-13 20:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it a mutual 1 night stand? I mean, did she know it was too, and was o.k. with it? If he made like it "meant" something, but really only wanted the sex. That's a valid gripe, as it's outright lie-ing to get sex.
What he's telling you is that he sees "love-sex" and "lust-sex" as 2 different things. The basic animal sex drive is something built into us guys. We can control it, but not deny it's there. If a guy's with a girl and both are upfront saying "it's only about sate-ing that animal level urge",he sees nothing wrong with it. That's not to say he looks at it the same with you. It's likely that he loves you, so would'nt be interested in sex with another. It's not the same thing to him. The 1niter issue is something that's null when he's with you. I'd try to focus on that, rather than what he'd do or did do if you were'nt together.
2006-08-13 21:03:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not able to get over it then you're going to have to end it for your own sake. If it's a character flaw that bothers you then you'll have to end it because you can't respect him after learning this. Are you concerned about STD's? Make sure he's clean before you do anything with him. Beyond that, you can't really hold him accountable for something he did before he even met you. Good luck!
2006-08-13 20:26:21 · answer #4 · answered by Some Guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it happened b4u then just get over it! You have no understanding of nor do you have a right to judge his actions in the past! He well may have been a different person at that time as people do change somewhat!
2006-08-13 20:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by old dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happend before you two were together, let it go, youre with him now and you like eachother, I've had plenty of one night stands when I was younger, now im married for 6 years, and still in love and faithfull....Its in his past...and right now you are his present, and future...so go day by day and don't dwell on things you cant conrol.
2006-08-13 20:24:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is a deal breaker for you - you're gonna have a hard time out in the real world sweety. Just be glad his "number" isn't in the double digits.
2006-08-13 20:24:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this will be a permanent scar that you cannot accept then it would be better to leave him. No point tormenting yourself with that thought.
But if you see a future with him and he promise not to do it again, maybe you should give him a second chance
2006-08-13 20:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by dwhelp79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to echo most of the others' sentiments here. It was BEFORE you. We all have a past. Were you an innocent little angel before you met him? Does he judge you on your past? Don't judge him on his. Judge him on how he treats you now.
2006-08-13 21:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by devlish_blu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens before you shouldn't matter. It's what happens while he is with you that does.
Don't judge him on past relationships. Judge him on what he does with you. His past relationships (as well as yours) should be out of bounds for both of you.
2006-08-13 20:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by RangerBob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋