I am born and bought up in india.I am from a traditional indian family.Born in 1980.My parents have arranged for my marriage.He is an indian born canadian citizen,born in 1973.My parents came to know about him from a mutual friend.we exchanged photographs and eitherside,there was n OK to proceed even green signal fron Parents and relatives.My father is making arrangements for the marriage.We also agreed for all the extra expenses being incurred becoz of certain demands made by the boy's side.my parents feel he is most eligible for me..We have been chatting sice four months,we dint see each other .he would be here in india in on dec 1st and marriage is fixed on dec 13th.we chat only once in a week and he never talked intimately to me till now.I am now confused if he really likes me?I asked him abt it and he pushes off smoothly..never opens up.wen i asked him abt what if he gets a better option than me.. he said he would go for it and asked me wht i wud do.he said he is being realist.
2006-08-13 20:03:05 · 11 answers · asked by ssss_sss 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well I think your feelings are correct.. he probably already has some one else. For all you know there could be a money game going on his side. That happens you know. Arranged marriages are not a safe thing to do especially long distance. You should talk it over with your family and tell them your concerns.
A warning is worth listening to.
2006-08-13 20:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by G♥♥G♥♥ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are comfortable with his family, if they are nice then i say the guy is most probably nicer too. I know its lame but thats all you can see.
From the information you provided that guy might just be shy and nothing else.
And about the better option that most probably was a joke. I havent opened up with my fiancee that much, and if she asks me if i like her, i will probably say dont know or something and will probably add being realist as well, but if one of the parents asks i will say the truth that yeah we are very happy, and she is very nice.
Also he is not used to being asked questions that you asked, so he didint know what to say and took the convenient road, and didnt let you on a secret, that he likes you. He probably dont wann open up and get hurt, even though you are the one.
I dont know know but somehow i can relate to this guy. Is he a Tauraus? I really wanna know. If he is no worries, he is a great guy just shy.
My advise is just show your intertest, But seriously dont get too much friendly with him on webcam. Could you send him a card and write more than "from, to"or small gift? Or just call him and say its fiancee day in india and you wanted to talk to him, say nice things, you know the poetry, he sent you, maybe you can change that around, change few words and work on it, Dont just copy from a website. even though he finds out its not Fiancee day, still he will know you like him.
And good luck with the marriage, Hope you have a good life.
2006-08-14 12:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you ... an arranged marriage will be tough with a partner looking for the bigger better deal ... I know that you don't have much choice being from a traditional family ... but I would voice your concerns to your father, since he is paying for "extras" the family is incurring ... there must be someone better for you. Talk to your parents ... break the tradition.
2006-08-22 00:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By living together in marriage. Your relationship will grow so that you will become friends and like each other. I worked with a man that was from India. His was an arranged marriage and he never saw his bride until the wedding. He quit work and went to her when it was time and now they are very happy and he has 2 children. He infact is a stay at home Dad because she is a doctor and works.
2006-08-20 07:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by nicedayrus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you do not have a choice it the matter. But he would not go all the way to India to get you if he did not care about you at all. There must be something there. Good Luck, I hope that you like him, if you don't you will learn to love him anyways.
2006-08-14 06:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to your parents and voice your concerns, after all, it is your life and I am sure they would want security for you rather than an uncertain future. Talk to your fiance as well, you have a right to know if there is anyone else on the scene before you marry him.
2006-08-14 04:33:24 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question . . .
Why do you want to marry a person, if you don't know for sure if he likes or more importantly loves you?
You should not marry anyone you do not love . . . doesn't matter if it is arranged or not . . . look for your happiness and that of your husband.
Do you like him? If you do . . . talk to him . . . be honest with him, with you feeling and ask him to do the same.
How do you feel about this?
2006-08-21 16:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tag Your It 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 7 years elder to you right ...that means he is quite elder to you...I understand ,you can not hurt you parents in this short period of time...But I think you should speak to you parents once,,,Because one of friend she was like you ...she got married a guy who was 6 yrs elder to her and she born and bought up in mumbai and he was in Chennai...He never specked for six month ...She was only coordinated with his parents and then they got married but he never understood her and finally they got divorced after lot of trouble ...Now she is staying with her parents and when I visit her ,her parents always say that if she would have said one month before then today this would not had happened ...Parents always wish for their children's ...I think you should once talk to them...best of Luck
2006-08-18 06:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by archu v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sould be all about love why would your parents pick ur life time partner its not just right cos there are bound to be problems. you really have to let your parents know about this....you said u havent seen him only thorugh pics....you knw seeing him physically cud change a whole lot cos u may find out u dont even like his height...think about it
2006-08-14 05:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by rowena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your father what he said.Knowing this he may stop the marriage to this man who seems to not really want to marry you.
2006-08-17 15:14:07 · answer #10 · answered by annie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋