my bf and i have been seeing each other for 2 years and plan to get married next year. my problem is that he is tight with money, the last 2 valentines i got nothing,while i bought him something, the last 2 birthdays he got me nothing but i got him something! i thought love is about giving. i do surprieses for him like buy gifts for no occassion, but he doesnt. he only bought me a slack once. please help...
2006-08-13 19:21:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being tight with money is going to have more and more of an impact on your relationship as time goes on. You need to address this issue seriously and honestly before you get married. After 2 years, it is unlikely that he is going to change, so you need to honestly decide if this is something you can live with.
I have been in this situation as well, and found that I could not live with it. Selfishness with money oftens transpires to be selfishness in other areas of life as well.
THINK TWICE.
2006-08-13 19:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by suzanne 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about this? Communication is very important in a relationship. If he didn't want to spend much money, he could have spent a dollar to buy you a card from Wal-mart and gotten a few dandelions from someones yard. He could have made you a present, written a poem, or sang you a song. It's not that he's cheap. It's that he doesn't care. He's taking you for granted now. And he'll keep doing that for as long as you're together. Why should he change? There's no reason to. And after you two getting married it's not going to get any better. If anything, it'll get worse.
You need to talk to him about it. And if he doesn't want to talk about it, then you need to dump him and find someone that appreciates you.
2006-08-13 19:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how is he outside of presents? You can't blame the guy for not having enough money, some people are just that tight on money.
Relationships are not just about "giving". IMO they are about respect and attraction for one another. If he loves you and respects you then why would it matter if he buys you that box of chocolates or that little watch you've been eying?
It's good that you've been giving him presents but in general if he IS giving effort into the relationships then you should be happy with things... after all not everyone has money to blow all the time.
2006-08-13 19:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by d.anconia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really has nothing to do with love, nor is love about giving. But if he is this way now, you can pretty much forget about romanticism for the rest of your life, and dont expect anything on your anniversary or birthday.
2006-08-13 19:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by soulblazer28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you.The problem is that he does not realise that gifts is one of the components that gives love a strong foundation.It is now your duty to make him realised this. Choose a good enviroment ,and in a good mood ,to bring up this topic.Don't put it in the form of a blame,but let it be an understanding free formal discussion in which each one is free to give his/her ideas,beliefs, and opinions.GIVE YOURSELVES THE CHANCE !!!
2006-08-13 19:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Ongori 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is like this now with money there is no reason to expect him to change when you get married.If you have a problem with his behavior then don't get married because you will have a problem with it then.Money is one of the top reasons marriages don't work.Talk with him and if he refuses to change,I would suggest cooling it with the relationship.
2006-08-13 19:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well then you better get ready for a stingy married life , gifts are all about caring and loving he could have given you something inexpensive , flower , made something by hand for you .
Are you sure he cares for you ?
2006-08-13 19:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by shady_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know what girl?u should email me...we have the same freakin problem! ive been with him and havent given me a thing..not to be materialistic but hey,its weird...he told me he's sorry coz he doesnt have money! i dont know..my bad!
2006-08-13 19:26:40 · answer #8 · answered by michelen d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have got to talk to your man about this otherwise your resentment will ruin your relationship.maybe it is not that big a deal for him to buy presents but to you it is so tell him so
2006-08-13 19:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by sassybiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask him if he hes having ne issues or health problems, or maybe hes just selfish. i may be wrong but... he might be seeing someone else. to answer your question... lets just say, "hang in there".
2006-08-13 19:26:50 · answer #10 · answered by yank33s rul3 2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋