Should my gf be hanging out alone with her ex if she's not sure he still has feelings for her?

Question

My gf says she has no feelings other than good friends with her ex. She tells me she's uncomfortable with us meeting b/c it would be awkward. She says she's not sure if he still has feelings for her or not. I told her that she needs to ask him if he does for sure. That I do not want to loose her to him b/c I feel there is a possiblity she may go back to him. She says she doesn't think he has feeling anymore b/c he hasn't made any moves on her. There friendship bothers me. I love her dearly, but she says she still needs her friends which I understand, but he is what I see as a "secret friend" who may have a hidden agenda. I do not know him or what his intentions are apparently she doesn't either. She just has assumptions... I've tried to meet him, but no go. Any ideas what I should do to keep our relationship?

Answer 1

Tell her to make a choice, you or the ex. She has no reason to be around him. I don't think she's being honest with you.

Answer 2

I am 100% positive something happening btw them. There is no such bull as platonic friendship. Apparently they still have some good memories and re-living them.

You should be mentally prepared for some stunt. If the a****** has got no moves, it doesn't mean anything. Even if he made a move, why should she tell you? Meeting up like that in private is already making a move to me. The guy is an idiot, creating rifts when he should be out of the picture. Yes, your GF needs friends, but why him of all people (hello, we are reaching 7 billion people).

I think you should let your GF know you do not tolerate this stuff. Better now then later. If she wants her cake and eat it, tell her to eat ****. If you don't make it clear, those two will be going out every weekend. Once you make a mistake, she will think her old love is better and leave you.

Once she leaves, don't take her back. She will be likely to use you for emotional or worse financial support, WITHOUT any commitments. Move on man.

Answer 3

Your girlfriend is hanging on to her ex because she hasn't made up her mind if she still wants to be with him. If they are friends she would know if he was interested in her.. She tells you she does not but I'm sure there are still feelings. She can't let go and that's not good. The other bad thing is that she does not want you to meet this guy.. Hmmmm. If you really want to make your relationship work you need to tell her your feelings about this. How you feel uncomfortable. Listen to what she has to say, and try to understand the underlying meaning. If she is really stuck on this guy and won't give him up.. MOVE ON!! Good luck!!

Answer 4

Sounds absolutely wrong to me. I can't even imagine going along with that. You want your relationship to work, however, if she can't see how this is very uncomfortable for you and doesn't either let you in on the friendship or lose it, then something is very wrong and it is better you get out now. You sound like you diserve better than that. Talk to her and be firm. If you don't set up some appropriate boundaries here, things will only get worse.
Best of luck.

Answer 5

dump her now
she is keeping her options openb
just as he is
you NEVER EVER EVER let a GF / BF ( depending on which side your on ) see the EX much less ther opposite sex without you being their
there is simply no REASON for it
she can make new frriends anywhere
she does not need him as a "freind"
by doing so in effect she is saying I want the option of going to him if i cry or etc.....
and trust me she will
the lie she tells you about it being akward.. well call her on her bluff and so don't worry about it I am cool with it, it not akward for me therefore it not akward for you
if she give you any crap about it
dump her
don't limit yourself thinking you can't find another GF
you can
you sell yourself short to say i do not want to loose her to him
if she put these barriers up
then she's really not over him and not ready to truly move on with her life
and thus you must prepared to cut her out of your life if she resists what is right
there is no gray area on this matter BTW
any 1st year relationship / marriage couciler will tell you that when you break up it;s over, you move on form new ties and grow up and you NEVER look back

Answer 6

If you feel uncomfortable with the situation you should tell her how you feel. You should probably meet this guy and if she wont let you meet him then there could be a problem You definatly need to sit down with your g/f and talk about this before you ruin your relationship

Answer 7

i think of superb suited now she is making an attempt to stability out the two her friendships and her relationship with you. in certainty, the relationship with you have have been given her feeling like she is dropping her acquaintances yet on an identical time she is lacking out on you too. i think of it rather is obtrusive that she cares a great deal approximately you. in simple terms enable her know which you're expertise the place she is coming from and probably you need to enable her know which you're keen to spend time along with her and her acquaintances on social amassing. in simple terms enable her know the way you experience and think of of procedures you may make a contribution to creating your relationship extra suited. She's getting into the process the adjustment of attempting to come across herself.. in simple terms wait and notice along with her and don't enable her forget approximately approximately how a lot you somewhat did look after her.

Answer 8

u seem like you've got a head on your shoulders, not trying to deny her her friends, that's fair enough, but
I think you should be able to meet her ex, maybe not hang out with them all the time but just so you get the chance to discern for yourself what his motives may be.

Answer 9

Dude your getting played!!! Tell her you need to meet him and you should be able to meet him. If they are friends then you should meet all her friends and vice versa!!! If she says no then dump her or you find a friend when she is out with him.

Answer 10

My brother is in the same position, only he overreacted and now their relationship is on the rocks. Just tell her you love her, if she is respectful of you love than she will stay true to you. If she's not then maybe she's not worth worrying over.

Answer 11

All i keep reading is that she doesnt know if he has any feelings for her, but what i keep hearing is that she does still have feelings for him. I would simply aske her what she wants. If it is u then she should have the gumption to stay awya from in while they are alone. if she doesnt know what she wants then it would seem that she wants her cake and eat it too