WHICH EVER JOKE I BELIEVE IS THE FUNNIEST WILL BE CHOSEN AS BEST
2006-08-13 18:00:08 · 24 answers · asked by antimatter 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A blonde is on her way to work one day when she passes a shop and sees a shinny object in the window. Curious what it is, she goes in and asks the clerk.
"Its a thermos" the clerk answers"
"what does it do?"
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
So the blonde decides to buy it and takes it to work with her.
A little while later her boss, another blonde walks by and notices the thermos.
"what is it?" the boss asks
"Its a thermos"
"what does it do?"
"it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold'
"What do you have in it?"
"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle"
2006-08-13 18:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by clomtancy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I got two jokes.
Ok, a blonde walks into a library, walks to the librarian, and asks, "Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"
The librarian tells the blonde, "Ma'am, this is a library." The blonde then whispers, "Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?"
And the second one...
Two hunters trying to find a large elk are lost in the woods. One of them had heard that stopping and firing towards the sky would make others aware of their disappearance and have help come. They shot their ammunition upwards, but nothing occurred. They then did the same thing twice, both having the same outcome as the first one. One of them said, "Man, I sure hope this group works." The second one then says, "Yeah, especially because these are our last two arrows.
2006-08-13 19:45:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan D. 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
2006-08-13 18:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A jew, an old woman, a young chick and an arab are on a train. The train passes into a dark tunnel adn they all hear a loud 'Whack!' When the train comes out the jew has a sore red mark on his face.
The old woman thinks the jew pinched the young womans @rse and got slapped.
The jew thinks the arab must pinched the young womans @rse, and she thought it was him and slapped him.
The young woman assumes that the jew went to give her a pinch on the bum, but got the arab instead and got whacked.
The arab thinks, fark, cant wait for another tunnel so i can belt that jew terrorist again!
2006-08-13 19:30:13 · answer #4 · answered by arifin ceper 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the presidents airplane crashed in a farmers field when the rescue crew arrives they find the farmer sitting in his tractor the wreckage was stacked in a nice neat pile there were several freshly dug graves the rescue crew asks were there any survivors and the farmer says well some of them were crying that they were still alive but you know how those politicians lie.
2006-08-13 20:05:22 · answer #5 · answered by know it all 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A very successful and wealthy stockbroker came home from work one day, and very dejectedly said to his wife," The stock market took an unexpected dive today, we have lost just about everything. I'm afraid you're going to have to learn how to cook so we can fire the chef." His wife replied, " I have a better idea. Why don't you learn how to make love and we can fire the chauffeur."
2006-08-13 18:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No joke from me but Little missy's was the funniest. Just to help you out
2006-08-13 19:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by spookiebutt 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage
2006-08-13 18:10:37 · answer #8 · answered by ettezzil 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A blonde walks into a grocery store and spots a carton of orange juice...Just as she spots it a clerk walks by... he finds the woman in a daze staring blankly at the carton of juice.... "May I help you, mam?" the man says... The blonde looks at the man and says, "No, you see,sir, the box says 'concentrate'!"
2006-08-13 18:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by iheartbassets3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Survivor, Texas Style
A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."
The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.
2006-08-14 12:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by rsclflat 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋