One of my best friends is a bride's maid in my wedding, She just told me that she didnt' like my fiance and thats why she hasn't invited me over to her house. She always trying to get me to cancel the wedding and asking me if im sure im ready for this. She has been using me for that past few years and acts like me mom. My fiance is furious and wants her out of our wedding completly. is this a good idea? and if so , how should i tell her?
2006-08-13 17:30:19 · 14 answers · asked by leslieh338 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If this woman does not support your marriage, you are only going to have more trouble down the road with her as your wedding nears. I would tell her as soon as possible.
2006-08-14 00:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, based on what you just said, if I were in your shoes, I would have no problem asking her to no longer be a bride's maid. You think she is using you and trying to control you which is not how a best friend acts at all. Best friends should respect your decision once you have made it and she does not seem to be doing this at all. It doesn't surprise me that your fiance is furious but this has to be your decision. The way I would approach this with her is, explain how you feel and that if she cannot respect your choices and stop second guessing you, that you cannot have her around the day that you are getting married. Keep in mind that there is enough stress associated with a wedding that you don't need to unnecessarily add to it. From the sounds of it, she might just do that on your big day which is the last thing you need.
2006-08-14 08:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In theory, your bridesmaids stand up for you at the wedding in support of you and your marriage. If this gal doesn't believe you should be married, I don't see why she should be in the wedding party. Besides, it's going to make your life hell if she keeps undermining everything with her "concerns."
Sit her down and have an open, honest talk with her. Tell her that since she doesn't believe you should marry your fiance that you aren't comfortable having her as a bridesmaid. Find out what's going on with her from her end of things. This isn't going to be fun or pretty, but I think you are well within your "rights" to remover her from the wedding party.
2006-08-13 17:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation with my best friend. She HATES my fiance and has never really supported our relationship. She has never had a boyfriend so she doesn't understand that I can't go out and party and be "single" anymore. Anyway she didn't support or wedding or our move out of state so needless to say she will not be present at our wedding next month. I think anyone who claims to be a "best friend" should be able to set aside their petty differences for one day and be there for the person that is closest to them. So sit your best friend and explain to her how you feel and how you are going to be with this man for the rest of your life, and she can either accept that and be in your wedding or maybe it will be time for you 2 to go your seperate ways.
2006-08-13 18:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by brok_20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she shouldnt be in the wedding, tell her that you have made up your mind, and this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, you need her support right now and she hasnt been giving it, so you think it would be best for the both of you that she wasnt an attendant. If she doesnt agree with the marriage and wasn't going to support you in your most stressful time, then she shouldn't have said she would be a bridesmaid.
2006-08-13 18:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should listen to what's she's saying. I was supposed to be maid of honor in my cousin's first wedding, but her fiance was such a jerk that I refused to stand up and be witness to the travisty. The marriage lasted about 6 months. Why does she dislike him so much? There might be a vaild reason.
2006-08-13 19:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have said yes in the first place if I had issues with your fiance. You wouldnt want somebody during your wedding (with a pretty important part in it) thinking the wedding is so wrong....
2006-08-13 22:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Beachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your friend about how you feel. If she doesn't support the marriage, she shouldn't be in the wedding party. That's the bottom line. It's your big day and you don't want a lot of drama.
2006-08-13 19:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you want someone a part of your wedding who supports and loves the BOTH of you, and that since she has made her feelings clear, you no longer wish to have her in your wedding. If you keep her in your wedding, who knows what she'll do to make you cancel it. Good luck and CONGRATS...
2006-08-13 17:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her like it is. But since you are asking her to leave the wedding you need to be prepared to reimberse her for the money that she has spent on a dress. You wouldn't have to give her any money if you can get her to drop out on her own.
2006-08-14 00:22:06 · answer #10 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋