My son continually hits his siblings and other kids when they make him upset or tell on him...I have tried timeouts, taking things away from him, and grounding him....Nothing seems to work..Does anyone have any suggestions or are dealing with the same issue? School will be starting back soon and I dont want him to take this bad habit with him....Help please....
2006-08-13 17:28:58 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This is a serious matter, I would appreciate honest answers....
2006-08-13 17:29:59 · update #1
1. make sure you have his attention
2. explain to him in a calmy but firm manner ( that is VERY imp) what he did wrong and why.
3. immidiately show him the consequences for his actions (sitting him on a chair for 5 mins, 1 min = age)
4. talk to him after the punishment and explain why he can't do that in a rational manner.
5. If he does it again you need to continue this recepie until it works he will give up!
6. you need to be consistant, do it every time not every other time or day.
7. NEVER NEVER NEVER forget to catch him at being good. If he is cleaning or hugging his sister always say " ilike when u hug your sister...or that is so nice of you! thank you! " etc etc
if you notice this continues after a couple of days i would recomend seeing a professional.
good luck! behaviour modification for children is hard
2006-08-13 17:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by ms_fantastico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a box or a jar and tell him when he feels he's about to hit one of his siblings tell him to drop an index card with his problem stated on the card and what was his reaction.
You read the index card and allow him your undivided attention. This will help him to talk his problems out instead of reacting.
If he strikes his siblings before doing this tell him the consequences.
1. You're going to get separated for a few hours until you learn to love and not hit.
2. You're going to get a lot of privledges taken away. No dessert, no soda, just water, extra chores, no friends allowed to come over, no t.v., no family time.
3. I may even have to send you live with another relative for a while(possibly a male role model he respects and looks up too.
4. Anger Management classes 5 times a week should occupy his time.
I BELIEVE in spanking and whippings but How could u whip a child and then in the same breath tell him not to hit his siblings. If its o.k. for mom to do it then its o.k. for me too.
2006-08-14 01:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Niinnaa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is five going to kinder garden, she had this issue through out preschool, the teacher and i and the principle worked with her non stop, her teacher suggested i have her diagnosed with adhd, which she has been, and are now trying to find the right meds! her biggest problem is "impulsivity" with any feeling, especially anger... if she is happy she will hug you so hard you fall. and if she is angry she will swing..she has gotten a little better and now bunches the wall ect.. anyways, at first i was in denial, and was like no way she has this, she just needs dicipline blah blah blah, but observing her saw how hard she was trying and one day she told me "mommy i cant do anything right" broke my heart, i knew then she needed help. one eye opening thing for her was she finally got hit back from an older girl... and got to feel what the others feel when she does this to others, anyways best of luck. check into the adhd...best of luck nadia
2006-08-14 00:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make sure that you don't spank your kids, because if you do, you are giving him ideas.
Second of all...help him learn better ways of dealing with his anger. Try to notice what usually happens right before he hits. Does he mostly hit for
-attention
-frustration
-to tell you he is upset
Depending on the reason, you can help him learn better ways to get what he needs.
There is something called a Social Story you can write and read to him, which is writen as if he is saying it...things like "When I want my brother to play with me and he isn't paying attention, I will nicely tap on his shoulder and ask him if he can play with me. ....etc. Check out this website...
and best of luck!
2006-08-14 00:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by lorgurus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also have a 5 year old and he was doing the same thing ! i gave him a chore to do around the house like i did the bigger kids and know i award him i also have his sisters to do a chore at the same time and he is more into doing better then them he forgot about hitting his sisters and they help each other and i give all of them money for being good our take them out and buy them something!!!!!
2006-08-14 00:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by BERNICE B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he hits grab him by his arms and hold him and tell him that you will not let go until he calms down. Find out WHY he is getting angry. Are his siblings older than him? If so you need to make sure that they are not baiting him and blaming him for thing he is not doing. I am the youngest of 4 and I used to get picked on horribly and had to fight back.
2006-08-14 00:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I understand my son was like that too... Try puttin your 5 yr old in the corner and have him or her stand on their tiptoes... And give him or her 10 mins in the corner. And let your child know that if they more the time starts all over again... I worked for me. My son got so tired of the corner he listened after a while.... Good Luck but really try it, it works
2006-08-14 00:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried hitting him back? Not hard to the point where it's abusive, but enough to where he gets the point? This worked wonders on my friend's 6 year old son. He kept biting his younger brother, so his mom bit him back. Of course his first reaction was, "That hurt!" to which she replied, "No kidding! Quit biting your brother." He got the hint and quit.
2006-08-14 00:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a honest answer whip him one good time, it's best to get him now because after awhile he'll be hittin you. That's what my momma would do! reguardless of what DCFS would say if he's out of control like that and there's nothin else you can do I think that is the best answer or take him to an anger mangement class or something.
2006-08-14 00:39:59 · answer #9 · answered by ~$Da princess$~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's looking for attention. Use the time out method. After the fighting is done and after he's done his time out method. Talk to him and let him know its wrong to hit people. And ask him why he was hitting his sibling. Then make him apologize to the child he hit.
2006-08-14 00:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by ♠♣♥Rogue♣♥♠ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋