Ok, I've known this 30ish year old guy for over 5 years. I'm 20. I really like him and he knows it. Recently we've been hanging out, getting to know each other better. After a few hangouts he tells me it'd probably be best to just stay friends but he'd like to help me with my holding back and shyness. So, I expected not to hear from him for a long time cuz that's the way it was before we started hanging out. He calls me up yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out. During our time together, he holds my hand, gets close in face while talking to me, grabs me around the waist and we danced to loosen up and be ourselves with each other. I don't know why i hold back when he is trying to help me, but now I'm all confused. If he just wants to stay friends, then why did he do all the holding hands thing and all that with me? I am totally confused. What do you make of this?
2006-08-13 17:21:06 · 11 answers · asked by ms prissy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I sounds like he wants all the benefits without the commitment. He doesn't have to make these kind of contacts with your body to help you open up. Your are very young and he knows that. Older men take sexual advantage of young women because they don't know any better. You are infatuated with him right know, and you just love being around him, plus the fact that he is an older man as well. You haven't experienced being used in this kind of way. You just know that you like him, as well as he. And, if he can get the goods with out being committed to you it's all gravy for him. A true friends encourages you and pushes you out there towards others to help you loosen up. Think about it, do your female friends touch you in that manner?
I'm a 30ish year old women and have been down that naive road. You have to keep your eyes and ears open when it comes to men. Especially when it comes to an older man at your age.
Start talking to him more. Ask him personal questions about his love life, girlfriend,wife,ex-girlfriends,religious faith,goals, and dreams. Pay close attention to his answers and analyze them.
good luck and stay sharp
2006-08-13 17:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by pussykat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm sweetie, now that you are no longer 15 and are finally of age...he's taking advantage of you. Thirty something year olds don't do this, not normal and responsible ones anyway. The only thing he's going to help you with is getting your clothes off and that has absolutely nothing to do with being shy. Think about this, he's doing akward things that he thinks kids your age do. He's calling you to hang out.....he's thirtyish! Guys that age don't hang out with minors! I don't want to be harsh, but I'm being honest and you are being niave. You aren't confused at all. You like this guy, you like the attention he's giving you, but you fail to realize that he has a hidden agenda and it has nothing to do with a relationship or your feelings. I'm sorry sweetie, but it might be best if you found someone around your own age, this guy is not what he's cracked up to be. If you doubt me, look around at all the other 30 - 35 yr olds you know. They have families, jobs, homes, etc. Then ask yourself where this guy is at or where he's headed. I have a feeling, you're smart enough to see it too.
2006-08-14 00:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him use you sweetie. It sounds like Romeo wants to do just that. If he wants to only be friends then it should be left at that, without the touching. He knows that you really like him and that makes you an easy mark for him. I can only see you getting hurt in the long run. Be careful and stay true to yourself, and there is NOTHING at all wrong with you being shy and holding back. Don't ever let guys take advantage of you..best of luck
2006-08-14 00:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a craddle robber. What is he doing with a 20 year old? If he is 30-ish like you said, that means he must've been 30 or 20ish when you met him five years ago right? And that means five years ago you were only 15!! That's gross!! a 15 year old hanging out "sexually" or romantically with an adult? He should've been charged with something if he did anything sexual or of that nature to you when you were with him before.
If not, it's weird, how did you meet this guy anyway? Certainly wasn't at school!!
2006-08-14 00:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Suzy Suzee Sue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sounds of things he doesn't know what he wants...Just tell him that you want to know what is going on let him know if you are enjoying your time together...Maybe he thinks he is too old for you ...You have to let him know so he knows for sure ......and when he is holding you close dancing etc.. maybe he is working on his holding back and shyness
2006-08-14 00:30:02 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants to be more then just friends but be careful it could be he wants your body. He could be shy himself and wants to get out of the shyness himself.
2006-08-14 00:24:21 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man obviously does not know what he has in front of him. Don't let him lead you on. You are worth more than that.
2006-08-14 00:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by VL MAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's tryin to help you and you want more, just accept and thank him for his help and use it or just say if your oonly gonna remain friends you would rather have someone else try to help you because it confuses you.either way...
you asked, i just answered
God Bless
LusTlesS
2006-08-14 00:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by LusTlesS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say he likes you or is just toying around. its hard to make it out.
2006-08-14 00:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by Night visions 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask him where he comes from?and his advice
2006-08-14 00:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by geeksquadextreme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋