How can we get my sister to go to a psychiatrist. (Please read all details)?

Question

My 17 year old sister is extremely depressed even though she won't admit it. All she does anymore is sleep. She hasn't been out of bed for more than a couple hours in almost a week. She barely eats or drinks and doesn't even care. Every statement she makes is depressing about how nothing's even worth getting out of bed for anyway. Her self-esteem is in the negatives and her attitude is getting worse. She's bitchy and grumpy about everything and flips out at the slightest thing. For the past couple months all she does is get her self into all the wrong relationships with all the wrongs types of people. We (me, my mom, my boyfriend who's like a brother to her, her friends, her friend's family, etc) have all tried as hard as we could to get her to realize stuff, but she just doesn't listen. We've already done all we can, we want her to get some professional help but absolutely REFUSES to go.

More details to come, I ran out of space here, so don't go anywhere yet... Keep reading.

She had been pretty heavily into drugs a couple years ago then cleaned up, but we think she might be using again. She swears she's not, but who knows. She also used to cut herself (not to actually commit suicide, just to cut), and we think she might be doing that again as well. (And no, it's NOT a "phase", just trust me).

She's stubborn and hardheaded and we don't know if she would even talk to a psychiatrist (she might just sit there and stare at a wall), but we still want to try. We've thought about just picking her up and physically MAKING her go because that's the only way she'll get through the door, but we don't know if that will make it any worse.

Please please help in any way you can, no response is too insignificant. We're all REALLY worried about her. Does anyone out there have ANY kind of experience? In either her place or ours?

Serious answers only. Ok? This is a serious situation. Feel free to contact me as well with any and all additional info.

THANK YOU!!!

Our dad died of cancer in Sept '03, but him and her never got along anyway. She was even HAPPY that he died (he was never really there for us anyway our whole lives even though he lived with us, he was just too busy drinking all the time). So I don't know if that would count or not.

By the way, she's definately not pregnant, she's pretty much anorexic (5'4", 95 or 100 lbs).

But she got grounded for sneaking out to see her bf in the middle of the night, but she doesn't even care. We can't get it through her head that he's not right for her anyway. He knows she's grounded and doesn't make the slightest bit of effort to get in touch with her in ANY way even though she swears that they're going to get married and everything else. She's talked to him like, maybe a total of an hour in the past 3 months. So that's probably contributing to depression.

Answer 1

ok first of all I've been in both situations, hers and yours, I would like to discuss it with you in order to give you some advice that might be able to help you if you want to contact me, my yahoo is musicfreak182000 Im on the instant messenger so either contact me on that or email me, but she should definitly go to a counselor, I hope to hear from you soon :)

Answer 2

1. If you think she will hurt herself or others, you can have her committed to a hospital psych ward for observation. The consequence may be that she holds a grudge for doing that to her.

2. Find a good psychologist in your area. Schedule a visit and see what he/she recommends. It may be that she doesn't trust anyone to tell them the truth about what is bothering her and if she realizes that what she tells her psychologist is confidential she may open up.

3. Observe her for another week or so. It could just be that she is down because of her failed relationships. Encourage her to get involved with family activities. Plan something special for the family to do together, like a trip to a theme park or a short road trip she is involved in planning.

4. Take her to a general practioner for some basic tests to see if there is a hormonal imbalance or a need for short term medication to lift the depression.

Answer 3

I am going through a similar situation w/ the father of my 2 children. I've been w/ him for 10 years and have seen it all. The cutting, suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol, you name it. As we speak he is in a psych hospital. Over the years he has gone voluntarily and by force. Some of these hospitals have "crisis interventions". It's when they will send a nurse out to the person's home with both EMS and police officers. It can be a very frightening experience, but sometimes you've gotta do what's necessary. Unfortunately, unless they consider the person a danger to themselves or others they can be very slow to act. If U want more info, contact me through e-mail. Good luck.

Answer 4

If your sister is only 17 your parents can make her go to a psychiatrist, even though they can't make her listen or talk once she gets there. The best thing to do is support her and encourage her. Let her know there are things in life worth getting out of bed for even if she can't see that right now. Tell her that there are people who are trained to help her get better. If it gets too bad your parents could also have her committed for a certain period of time where they could run tests to try and find out exactly what is wrong with her. Good luck. My prayers are with you.

Answer 5

Im sure a lot of people will write about how to solve this, so i just wanted to say a few other things.

Deppression is like a desease... when someon you love is deppressed, you can become so to. Her behavior will cuase a ripple effect, and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how horrible and terrible it is the be the helpless loved one. Keep trying to get help for her... but don't let it consume your life. As much as you love your sister you have to remember to take care of yourself too.

Also, you might get really angry or frustrated or sad with her for acting this way... it will get harder and harder to remember this isn't your sister. this isn't her real self... remeber her before her deppresion.
If you get angry, upset, or feel hopeless and deppresed yourself, walk away. Run to give yoruself a physical release. Make your destination a quiet and calm place. Sit, and try to visualize the ties between you and your family. Think about temporarily cutting those ties in your mind, thus temporarily reliveving yourself of the heavy responsibility of being her sister. sit in that quiet place. many people find release and revitilization in writing about the incident, the day or what happened. Poetry writing and reading helps many. If you are musical, writing a song or lyrics to put to a song you already know can help to relive stress.

Try to remember what makes you happy, activities that don't involve family but involve other supportive people. Do those as often as you can.

You are a good sister to take care of her...
remember to take care of you.
All the best and good luck

Answer 6

Is she considered an adult at 17 in your state? If not, her guardian (mother) has the right to have her evaluated. Seek information from a Behavioral /Mental Health agency in your state, they will be able to give you guidance.

Otherwise, all you can do is PRAY, because she is not willing to listen to family or friends.

HARD LOVE: Throw her out of the house since she is dealing with the wrong type of people, because this jeopardizes the safety of everyone else in the house.
Let her move back when she has sought treatment and is willing to continue getting treatment.
I hope things work out for you and your family.

Answer 7

well i am sorry to hear that,prayer is really helpful and its a tool which every member in your family needs to harm themselves with at this time.
your sister might be seeking love at this time by going in wrong relationships which she think might ease the pain ,you know it won't but don't come down on her too hard its her release just be there and never say i told you so,its the last thing she needs to hear. only a few people admit when they need help ,maybe ur sis own't admit now but keep on being there for her ,the truth is no one will get her to seek help until she is ready ,so in the mean time is there anyone like a pastor,teacher or anyone who she idolize ,who she will listen to.if so try getting that person/s to speak with her.
Try to find out her source of depresssion.friendship gone bad,health anything try to find out b4 its too late .god bless and remember all things are possible through christ pray and never cease praying.

Answer 8

I don't need to read anymore, she does need professional help and that is obvious, have your parents take her to see a doctor, she can say no all she wants but if she is a minor her parents have the final say, sounds like she just needs a good kick to the seat of the pants though, to be a teen and be depressed is just sad, I know because I was depressed as a teen

Answer 9

She's being a teenager. I went through it, and psychiatrists just made me more pissed. Just keep an eye on here, and make sure she's not a danger to herself. She needs to get an interest, new friend... anything. She's fine.

Cutting can be something that teens do to relieve pain. My sister did this. Do a drug test, contact family doctor, be there for her.

PS, NO MEDS, THEY'RE HORRIBLE.

Answer 10

She's under 18, so she's still a minor. Your mother could, technically, FORCE her to go to a therapist or even admit her into a mental hospital.

Why not go to her regular doctor [with or without her, depending on whether or not she'll go] and talk about your options with him? He'll know a lot more than us on answers.