Hi. I have a big problem. My husbands uncle, aunt and their two sons are about the only family my husband has that lives near us. He loves them dearly but I have a problem with them. They bragg too much! I can't say anything to them becuase I can't make them or my husband mad. So...this has to be within my own thinking that I control my anger towards them. How can I control my hatred feelings towards them when they bragg about how much money they have and how they have the best and look down on others that don't have as much. My husband and I live mosdestly and don't have a whole lot of money and they really rub it in around us (indirectly), but they get their point across. I am a Christian and want to not have these feelings, but how do I handle my thoughts? I am beginning not to want to go around them which will in turn hurt my marriage. HELP!
2006-08-13 14:53:21 · 10 answers · asked by sugarbud 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow, That sounds like a very hard situation to be in. I applaud your efforts to control your actions / reactions to their prodding.
1st Why do people brag?? To feel important or to purposefully hurt someone. Perhaps where these people "are" financially well off they do have their downfalls & know it - they may actually be jealous of your personal faith or comfort in life you find in it. They just have paper in their pockets.
Each time they say something about being "higher" up or such simply equate in your head how you would react or feel if a two limbed person made fun of or flaunted their two arms to a one armed person! Sounds horrid but would you be jelous of their "wealth" at that point? Their money is not something to be jealous of if it comes with their belief system honey. You stick to your husband,,keep quiet & thank God that not having what they have means you get to keep your morality about others
2006-08-13 15:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by Turtle1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a Christian you have probably heard the song Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord,well use that song in your conversations with them. Next time they brag about something just say, "Boy if I had that much money that would really make me humble in the eyes of the Lord." You can use it for different sayings but you get the point. Now as far as you not wanting to say anything to make your husband mad, or them mad, but you angry, that is wrong. Don't hold in what you are feeling. I am not saying fly off the handle at them, be tactful and caring but tell them exactly what is bothering you. Good luck.
2006-08-13 22:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who brag like that are only doing it to make themselves feel better. You might not be able to control what others say, but you can control how you react to it. The fact that they have more than you now really doesn't matter. A Brinks truck never followed a hearse . . .
2006-08-13 22:01:14 · answer #3 · answered by tsopolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... for starters, make an inventory of all the nice qualities or "treasures" in your life that you may have and they may not. think of all the beautiful things that you can experience and that money cannot buy, things that money blinds you from. if you start seeing all the meaningful things you really have in your life, you will start to feel compassion about the people who need to fill that void with material goods and bragging... instead of "hatred" you will feel a QUIET compassion, everytime they speak like that... like laughing inside that you are free from that "blindess". Try it! think inside, everytime they brag, that they are very poor inside and your hatred will turn into compassion but you HAVE to keep perspective to be able to achieve this.
2006-08-13 22:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Nia24 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... If you feel this way try to make other plans so you dont have to be around them. Try to go along with them an say things that will make them feel uncomfortable and rub that in. I hope everything goes well for you.
2006-08-13 22:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by Ton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This type of behavior always gets under my skin. But, then I take a second to realize how awful it must be to be them. For them to feel so inferior that they have to use material things to make up for what they feel they are lacking in substance.
Maybe they are jealous of the relationship you and your husband have. And to make up for what they lack in their own family situation they try to make up for by bragging.
I would suggest you consider being compassionate towards their lack of confidence and self-esteem. When they brag, just remind yourself that they are doing this to make up for short-comings they have in character.
Best of luck.
2006-08-13 22:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by hvnmorefun 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your husband about this...Let him know how it makes you feel....Try to ignore them and act like you don't care...Most of all remember that God is with you and pray for them....You are better then they are....God doesn't judge you by what you have, but what is in your heart.....You have more riches then they do....Bless you and good luck!
2006-08-13 22:06:56 · answer #7 · answered by Donna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would start by talking to your husband and telling him how you feel...i just think that not telling him about your feelings about his family could hurt your marriage because what will happen when he does find out (its inevidable) sorry for the harshness
2006-08-13 22:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by hahtnamas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray to God that you will be given the virtue of patience. Say it over and over again every hour. GBU.
2006-08-13 22:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by shanghai68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy!!!
2006-08-13 22:05:55 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋