i want to get closer and have a relationship with a guy (35) i 've known for 3 years. what can i do?

Question

he works 100 hrs a week and travels. he really likes me, but over the past 3 years, i've been a real jerk, blowing him off, trying to break up. but now i see he's sweet, positive, hardworking. And i wish i could get closer to him and maybe we could see if sharing our lives together would be good. but now ... i don't know how to get closer to him. we just get together abt twice a month for an evening. and that's physical for the most part. but i care so much for him. i was mean before because he wouldn't commit, and he still won.t he lives with roommates and travels and works constantly. he's 35 and i'm 30. isn't it time we should try to get closer?

what things can i do or say to let him know that's what i want? i just tell him i like him and he's the only one i like. i also ask him questions like, have you gotten married yet. and he'll say: not yet.

sheesh. it makes me feel sad a little. so i focu on the joy i feel when we're together and i see him. it's so nice. i want more tho

Answer 1

your really should talk to him about all this because im going through the same exact problem only i didnt talk to my guy and now he has found a gf on the road and i dont ever get to see him at all. . so i lost all around. . . .i wish him luck i guess even though it is really hard for me to say !

Answer 2

If ur sure that he's not married and there's nobody in life except u THEN..

Try being more sweet to him these days, and when u feel like it tell him that u love him and u wanna get closer but u couldn't say it cuz u didn't feel that he's so close to u as u do now, cuz nothing do more better than words, believe me.

And after a while tell him about ur working and traveling stuff, and if he really love u it won't be a big problem.

If u want any help don't hesitate and IM me

Answer 3

if u have been together for the past 3 years yet only shared physical moments, i feel that u nor him are not ready for a committment. sad to say, urs is just some form of stress-reliever-kind-of-relationship. do u guys actually talk to each other? being 35 as he is and constantly on-the-go meant that he will not be always there for you. so you will end up becoming too needy when he's around and trust me, that will certainly put him off.

i feel that you should consider this properly: is he the one? if you think so without a second thought; please think again. very often our emotions play tricks on us. furthermore, u need to have a lot of trust and independency (financially as well) in this kind of relationship, and i felt that urs foundation is not there yet.

don't end up trying to please him too eagerly, or u will end up very sour and angry with urself. it's a nice feeling to be sharing intimate moments together, but being a real couple meant real problems. do u have problems?

i think u should try to arrange for a heart to heart talk with him. seek out his future plans for himself. u should be able to know whether marriage is on his plans, then u decide. NEVER THROW YOURSELF AT HIM, cos that will make him feel that u cannot live without him.

i hope this advice helps.

Answer 4

Sounds like "friends with benefits".

Not such a bad thing when we were in our early twenties, but when we are in our thirties and beyond, commitment is important. It doesn't seem he is interested. May I suggest you sever ALL ties with him, and find someone you can "benefit" with on a full time basis. Best of Luck!

Answer 5

How about expressing what you want and need in the relationship in an open and caring way? If he is more focussed on his career, maybe it's time to move along.

Answer 6

You will never break up because you will never be together.

Answer 7

Did ya ever stop and think he might be MARRIED?

Answer 8

sex