i have been with the same guy for 5 years... he has a problem with alcohol, however seemed to be doing okay... for the last 15 months, it has been bliss... however, i found out for the past week, he has been drinking again... of course, i never saw it coming. i am hurt, and he tells me he is sorry... he knows i will not deal with him at all while he drinks. he says today is the last day he will drink before starting over... tho i doubt it, and i do not want to be hurt again, my whole heart is messed up! i want to tell him to get out of my life, and yet even thinking about it hurts so much.
PLEASE give me some GOOD advice, and tell me, if you were me, what would you do??
i need some good sound advice! please help!
i have never asked anything before today...
2006-08-13 14:44:20 · 11 answers · asked by bronzebabekentucky 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So how much is he drinking? You didn't convince me it was a problem ... only that you don't like him doing it. If it really is a problem get him into AA. Make it a prerequisite for staying together.
2006-08-13 14:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
OK well its good that he stayed off it for 15 mos, but he fell off, i had a g/f that did the same, on and off for years....bottom line if you dont think he'll really stop, then find another. if you want to give him a chane you must tell him get pro. help and stay dry, or he out off your life..... i really dont know all the things that have happen in ur life so far, so thats the best i can tell you, if U want to talk just IM me, good luck, best wishes
up date..just read ur other question...look if youve stay away this long then you can go on, once you have mix feelings you will always wonder what he's doing, when he comes close to you , you will be snelling him, and looking into his eyes and so on, just move on.......
2006-08-17 21:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by truthfinder1960 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People dont change not even married, so if you cant handle this situacion , ´cause you dont not even me ... you should leave him, time is going to help heal you.. dont worry.. everything happend for a reason and sometimes we need to be with other persons when we finish to learn somethings from others... don be afraid, its going to be worst if you keep with that guy , and the most beautiful thing in the worl is to be with a person that can make us feel safe ..
good uck
2006-08-13 21:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi i'm a former drunk who has been sober 8 1/2 years and i will try to help . you must stop enabling him and let him know that he has a serious problem and he should seek counselling . i had many childhood issues to deal with before i realized that the one person who mattered was me . i drank from the age of 12 years old to age 33 and i had to be honest with myself before i could start my change of lifestyle . it sounds to me he is a binge drinker ., he will be ok for a while and then he drinks for days on end . the harsh reality is that it's not your problem ,it's his and he must hit rock bottom before he faces the cold hard truth ..... he is an alcoholic . so i hope you help yourself and let him go and don't blame yourself for his problem .
2006-08-13 22:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by dnippi65 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok girl, it's like this. You sound as though you have the right idea and already know what you need to do. Give him the choice and stick to your guns. If he thinks he can stop and start anytime he wants and still have you back,...then he has you where he wants you. Dont let that happen, even if it hurts.
2006-08-13 21:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by juslookin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of the relationship if he continues drinking. His drinking can lead to a number of things from him mistreating you, beating you up and alot of other problems. He has lied to you about his drinking and what else has he lied to you about? There is really a trust issue here, can you truly trust him? If not move on and date a sober person that will treat you right.
2006-08-13 23:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that if he really loves you he would quit. I think it sounds like he needs professional help though. In my experience it is good to stick around and try and help someone but in the end they have to want to help themselves and accept help. You cannot fix the problem for him. I think you two need to get some help.
2006-08-13 22:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by azz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's really hard to say this but from experience i know it's hard for them to give it up , i've lived through years of bliss to see totol disstruction of a person and her family , friends , everything , there is hope with AA but only if it's a life style for you both
2006-08-13 21:57:40 · answer #8 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him what is more important: You? Or the Alcohol? If he is not willing to give up his drinks for you, he's not worth your time.
2006-08-13 21:56:17 · answer #9 · answered by Sav 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let me tell you, from experience, my bf has a drug problem, he is always "quitting" we've been together for 8 yrs. and even though it's been really shitty at times........i love him and wouldn't trade that for the world........it just depends on whether you REALLY love him
2006-08-13 21:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by Sarija 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋