Why is "I just want to be friends" a hurtful statement?

Question

Since when is being friends a bad thing?

Answer 1

Because it's usually the truth..and truth hurts.

Answer 2

At the beginning of a relationship, it isn't a hurtful statement at all. It alerts the individuals in the relationship to act according to a standard that they both understand and agree upon. But at the end of a relationship, it causes hurt because it suddenly bursts the bubble of hope and happiness that one of the two was living - he/she can no long expect to enjoy and share in his former partners life with the privilege of intimacy beyond just friendship - suddenly he has lost something of his life that was so enjoyable before the change. It's like losing ones right to freedom.

In addition, the friendship offered at the ending of a relationship is very often perceived as a hollow gift of condolence... an insincere handout given just to placate the hurt feeling which one of the party is suffering; just as one might give a crying baby a bottle, a rattle or a pacifier merely to satisfy it for the time being, the friendship that is often offered at the time of terminating a relationship is viewed similarly, as a temporary settlement without gravity.

Un-asked-for advice: It may seem mean and hurtful to be curt in ones method of breaking up, but in the long run, it may be better for all parties involved. Any true friendship which may have developed will outlast a break up unassisted by a helping hand.

VVVVV r u randy? VVVVV

Answer 3

It hurts because it is a rejection. Because the other person has offered and asked for romance, closeness, affection, and pleasant touching. Because the other person has thought there was already enough closeness and affection between the two people to allow the next step. Because the other person's hopes and dreams were dashed into bits.

Rejection hurts.

It isn't that there is something bad about saying "I just want to be friends". The problem is that it isn't "I was hoping you'd ask, because I'd like that a lot too." There isn't an magic answer that says no without the other person feeling hurt. And saying "yes" now, but planning to duck out later is worse.

Answer 4

Well it is hurtful when the other person obviously has feelings for you and wants MORE than to just be your friend. Think about it, if you had been talking and hanging out with your crush and then you decided you needed to pour your heart out to this person because you want the relationship to be more......how would you feel? Would you feel over joyed if the person you had a crush on says, "Well.....I just want to be friends..." That statement is the same as being rejected, my friend. Of course it is the "nice way" of saying "Ew, no way"....so therefore it has become known all across the United States that the"I just want to be friends" line is nothing but a sign of rejection. Make sense?

Answer 5

If you've been in a relationship and the other person says "I just want to be friends," then it means that they stopped having feelings for that person. Your saying to them I know longer want to be as close to you as your wanting them to be. Some people think it's a safe statement, but it's not. It really hurts when you care about someone a lot.

Answer 6

Haha... It has never been or ever will be a bad thing.

I assume that this judgement comes from your personal relationship with others? Alot of boys will get disappointed when the girl they like gets rejected as "I just want to be friends" is a form of "rejection" Many guys tend to take this very hard and negative.

So what you can do on your part is that, you can like deliever those lines to them, in a more positive manner. You can also like console them, and don't leave them hanging.. else they will take it negative..

If there is any thing you can just msg me, I will be more than happy to answer those questions

Answer 7

Because the other person feels rejected.

Being friends isn't a bad thing, but sometimes the other person will feel like you're just saying that as an easy out and don't *really* care about his or her feelings. That's why, if you turn someone down romantically, but still want to be friends, you have to be sincere and respectful about it.

Answer 8

friends is not being a bad thing. I would like to know guys always like me want to hang around with them. I will listen to their deepest emotions, pains, sorrows and even watch sports and a shoulder to cry on. Still they tell me I just want to be friends. It is a hurtful statement ! Some of us women are insecure. Heyyyyyy maybe that's the problem. I got it now. Wow I just answered my question in my own head !!!!

Answer 9

Some people don't like to hear that because it makes them feel like they aren't good enough and that the person is just letting them down by saying that line. Most of the time when relationships are left as "just friends" it just means that the person is trying to let you down easy. Most of the time, the friendship does not go any further and we know it. For some people, it is taking the easy way out of not hurting someones feelings.

Answer 10

Being just friends isn't a bad thing but when normally when the other sex ask you something to bring up that statement. That normally means she likes you and want's more from your friendship.

Answer 11

It's not hurtful in itself, of course. "We should be friends" is better on all counts than, say, "I never want to see you again", or "die, sucker, die".
What can be hurtful is when someone you have strong feelings for tells you that those feelings are not reciprocated. Even worse is when you had been led to expect that the sentiments were mutual.
If someone takes offense at a statement like that, I think the implication is that the person giving it had been leading them on. Whether that's accurate or not, of course, depends on the individual case.