Blonde Jokes?

Question

Q: Why did the blonde get pulled over by the police?
A: Her headlights weren't working, so she was flashing people.

Q:How many blonde jokes are there?
A:None, they're all true!

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

Answer 3

ok i have got two

2 blondes walk into a building you would have thoght one of them would have seen it.


one day a blonde went into a store and said i would like to buy that microwave the man said i dont sell to dumb blondes the next day the same woman can in with red hair again the man said the same the next day she came in with brown hair the man said the same thing the next day she came in with blue hair again the man said the same then the last day she came in with green hair and the man said i dont sell to dumb blonds then the blonde said how do you know im a dumb blonde the man said because thats a T.V

Answer 4

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 5

Hehe...thanks for the laugh.... Now here's one for you....

This guy wanted to really impress his blonde girlfriend, so he took her to her first football game. She laughed and hooted along with everyone else, and at the end of the game the guy asked her what she thought.

She said, "Well, I really enjoyed the action! And the guys were really cute and the tight pants were GREAT! But there was one thing I don't understand."

The boyfriend asked, "Ok, what is it, and maybe I can explain."

The blonde replied, "Well, you know how at the beginning of the game, they flipped the coin to see who went first? Well, after that, all I kept hearing, was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' and I'm thinking to myself, 'Duh!!! It's ONLY a quarter!"

Answer 6

here is one for you:

a blonde, brunette, and redhead rob a bank, but get caught by the police. A policeman says freeze and points the gun at the brunette. The brunette points toward the sky and says "tornado!". The policeman looks up and the brunette escapes. A policeman points the gun at the redhead and says freeze. She says "look, an earthquake!" The policeman looks behind him and the redhead gets away. The policeman points his gun at the blonde and says freeze. The blonde says "look, fire!", and the policeman shoots her.

Answer 7

good ones. even though i am a blonde i still really enjoy the jokes

Answer 8

hahaha... Elmo...























































































































































































































































tentacles.

Answer 9

yeah i already told these sorry sweetheart ♥

Answer 10

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