I have 3 kids and I am a student/stay at home Dad. After my first two kids, I never really had a patience problem, but since the 3rd kid came along it seams my patience level has gone down. Any pointers on how I can manage this better and yet still keep control of my 3 kids?
2006-08-13 11:48:56 · 11 answers · asked by Mr MOJO123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You sound like my husband. He starts school tomorrow. Why don't you try giving the kids about 15 minutes of your time and then tell them you need some time to get things done. Set them up with a movie or if they are young enough, have a quiet time.
You can't be cranky though, when they ask you for help or they start fighting. You have to be patient. They're young, they have a lot to learn, and whatever you do...they learn the same behavior.
You can do it. I know you can.
2006-08-13 11:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by FairyGurl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I also have three children. I am now a stay at home parent. In your case, being a student AND a stay at home parent, you have the toughest of all worlds. You are having to deal with all the domestic issues like making sure they are fed, clean and entertained, yet you still need to be able to study amid all the chaos. It can be very frustrating to never have a moment's peace. My mother always said that three is more than two plus one, and I finally figured out what she meant when I had my third. Its the rule of multiplicity. With two children, you have at max three issues at one time, his, hers and theirs. With three children, you have a potential of seven issues going at once - each individual person and four potential conflicts among them. That's a lot of directions to be pulled in. No wonder you are worn out! This basically confirms your issue, but doesn't go a long way toward alleviating it.
I have to have my bath every night - I know you're a guy and that probably isn't your thing, but the principal is the same. You need to work out with your wife that you have to have an hour, every night, to be completely alone to recharge. Do whatever works for you, but you HAVE to have this time to be able to come back and be effective. Date nights a few times a month don't hurt either - adult conversation isn't something that you think about a lot until you don't have it for days on end.
I also joined a local group for stay at home parents, we get the kids together for play dates, go to lunch once a month, etc. That has helped me as well.
Good luck. It is tough. The only real "fix" when your patience wears thin is a little distance.
2006-08-13 19:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by davis0375 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience will come with time. But you have to be willing to put in the time and help the patience along.
Routine. Do you have a routine with your kids?
If you don't you need to start one.
You may not believe me but kids adjust better to a routine.
You need to get them up at the same time everyday and put them to bed at the same time every night.
As well as breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Find the things they like to do and give them times everyday for the activity. TV, video games, outside play, inside play, studies, etc.
As far as punishment goes take the things they like most from them when they are bad and stick to that punishment. That will get you alot farther with discipline than a spanking if you spank. That is your choice though.
And for your self you need time away occasionally.
You need you time. Your wife needs to give you some time to yourself everyday even if it is only for half an hour. And you need to get atleast 2 days a month or more of alone time.
Explain to your wife the situation and how you are feeling. Tell her you need a break occasionally from the kids. Explain that she gets out and away everyday and has adult time even if it is work....
And tell her you would like sometime for you and her to be together alone and find a sitter. Whether it be a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or any family member or even just a regular hired sitter.
I think if you do some of these things you will feel so much better. And you will find yourself get more relaxed and calmer.
But if you don't have a routine it will take a little time to get the kids into one and it won't be easy at first. But stick to your guns on everything and in time the kids will get it down pat and start responding how you want.
And at this time more patiences will come. Because you will have taught yourself as well as the kids routine and you and them will know what to expect.
Hope this helps. Good luck
2006-08-13 19:42:49 · answer #3 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also have 3 kids, and patience wasn't a problem until the 3rd also, I think its because the 3rd is almost always the most spoiled, even if its by accident. I would advise taking time with each and make sure the other two don't feel like the 3rd is more important to you (as a parent we know that isn't true of course) but sometimes the kids feel like that. and act out, and try to compete for you attention.
2006-08-13 18:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Charisma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen i understand where you are coming from, don't be so hard on yourself. give yourself a break every once in a while by getting the kids interested in small projects or TV shows they like. then go to a quiet corner and take a deep breath, or a stiff drink ( just playing) taking time for yourself especially when you become frustrated is a huge help and will allow you to be more clear and patient with your kids. good luck
2006-08-13 19:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by frsttmshy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also have 3 kids, hubby works out of town and I am also a full-time student--
I feel your pain, but since it gets frustrating to try to control the whole sitution, I've kinda of decided to give up trying, so I set mini bounderies such as "My room is off limits after 9pm", etc
anything helps--good luck!
2006-08-13 19:02:22 · answer #6 · answered by quilt-babe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom of 3 boys, and they drive me bonkers sometimes LOL. I agree about after having the 3rd kid. If you ever wanna talk just IM me sometime...I am on when kids let me LOL Goodluck!
2006-08-13 19:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Froggie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow i give you alot of credit thats alot on your plate! I only have two kids but I find that if I give myself at least a half hour of me time I am much less stressed.Even if i just go take a lonng shower and have my husband watch the kids thats my time.
2006-08-13 19:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by kitty kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
time out's!!! the best way to go .now if there a lil older,7 so-on. no t.v. / no playing there ps2.[whatever game system]...this works with my 7 but wth the 2yr old...time out in his cribe.he doesnt stay put in a chair....
2006-08-13 19:01:55 · answer #9 · answered by spyprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We need ages to give suggestions
2006-08-13 18:57:44 · answer #10 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋