Existentialist humor anyone? I can use a good joke.?

Answer 1

A major network is planning the show "Survivor 2" this winter. In response, Texas is planning "Survivor, Texas Style." The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, "I'm gay, I voted for Bush, and I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

Answer 2

Practical joke, but a true story: in my senior year english I had to read Camus' The Stranger (the very same book President Bush is now reading, on his vacation! wow!) And my teacher asked us to comment on the scene where the main character is in the empty prison cell after having shot the man on the beach for no reason.

I was not paying attention, so she called on me, thinking to catch me unprepared. But I said, "Camus here symbollically injects symbolism into a scene symbollically devoid of all symbols."

She was irate. "And just WHAT is that nonsense supposed to mean?"

So I explained-- at great length, mind you-- the emptiness, the meaninglessness of the character's life, and how, while the jail cell was bare of all furnishings, and the wall was plain white, the very bareness and blankness of it was a symbol of the emptiness and meaninglessness of the central character's personality. Hence, Camus had used symbolism without using any symbols at all!

She stood there gaping like a perch when you take it off the hook, and said. "that's-- That's very insightful!"

Just then the bell rang to end the class, and the entire group of students gave me a standing ovation.

Answer 3

Don't Get Mad, Get Even
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I am not leaving until I get it."

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once inside, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?" Of course, the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Annie. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.

The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he will jump the baby sitter's bones, and he will catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitters, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-b - - - - who ran over my frog!"