They are always on each others back always name calling and i'm getting tired of. HELP!!!
2006-08-13 11:00:47 · 14 answers · asked by kookie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Step one: Get rid of 4 kids
Step two: Tell 5th kid that if he doesn't behave he will "Disappear" like the other 4
Step three: Enjoy peace and quiet
2006-08-13 11:07:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh! They CAN'T get along. You must have been really distracted when you typed your question!
One of the things you can do (and it's very hard to do) is to back off and let them sort things out on their own. It's like a family version of tough love. But if they can't get along with each other, and can't support each other, what are they going to do when they get out in the world and have to get along with other people, and support their own families and friends?
Tell them that beginning at noon tomorrow, you are no longer the family referee. Of course you will step in if someone is trying to do physical harm to one of the others -- and that should call for a significant time away from the family -- but other than that, they can call names to their heart's content.
This might be a great time for you and their father to take up a new hobby, or almost anything that will get you out of the house for a few hours a day while the kids are there.
The other thing to remember is that school will be back in soon, and that will give you at least a few hours a day of peace.
But seriously, if they can't get along with each other, they can at least learn to be civil to each other. Otherwise they've got a pretty bleak future.
And if things don't improve, go see a family counselor. You shouldn't have to put up with that, because it's your home too.
PS: Some people are probably going to suggest you set up a series of rewards and penalties, and give tickets for bad behaviour. So many tickets and they lose privileges, etc.
That's great in theory, but it still puts you in the position of being a policeman, and what the kids need is to learn a little self-discipline and control. That has to come from THEM, not from YOU.
Good luck to you!
2006-08-13 18:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club, I have 5 as well. I have a hard time getting them to settle down. For the most part I have to keep them separated. I have 1 daughter that lands right in the middle of her 4 brothers and she can surely hold her own. She likes to pick the living crap out of her younger brother though.
They spend more time in their rooms than anything else.
Overall, they are good kids as I'm sure yours are too. It's just a lot to handle when it's just us and the husbands are at work.
Mine really like to bake, make finger paints, things like that. It settles them down long enough to have some fun and then they spend a majority of the day playing with what they made.
If you would like the play dough recipe let me know.
Mine are 10, 8, 6, 5, and 5 months. Don't know how old yours are, but I hope i helped a little.
P.s they only way I can get my kids in there and keep them there was to promise them a $1.00 movie, popcorn, candy and a drink every two weeks when their dad gets paid. THEY ARE STAYING IN BED! Go figure.
2006-08-13 18:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey!
A couple things you could try.
Make a chart for the month, and everytime someone does or says something nasty to someone else they get a mark on the chart at the end of each week whoever has the least amount of checks gets a treat and at the end of each month the one with the least amount of checks gets a real nice treat and of course lots of praise and appreciation for being so good and helpful.
The other thing is, maybe get them involved in working as a group, everyone has their own job but it all ties in to a the big outcome, there are alot of arts and crafts things.
Hope that helps a bit.
2006-08-13 18:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by Sue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad has 5 girls (so naturally alot of fights) my dad just made sure we weren't doing anything to cause physical harm and let us fight it out. we learned real quick that we would fight back and it tough us to lay off. If it gets to much tell them to take it somewhere Else. Remind them that you cant fix there problems with each other, and they have to find a different way of sorting it out. I have 3 kids ands my daughter got into a stage of hitting her brothers when they argued and she didn't get her way. after about the 4th or 5th time her brother had enough and hit her back. I let her figure this out on her own and i am proud to say she now understands if she puts her hands on someone they will hit back. and if she doesn't like it then don't do it.
If mom always fixes the problems for them then it will happen forever they have to learn to sort it out. It ll be tough getting to that point, but in the end you notice them backing off when they realize that moms not going to fix it and they will learn to back off. (hopefully)
2006-08-13 18:38:20 · answer #5 · answered by Charisma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Name calling is very natural in a family with five kids, I come from a family of similar numbers. They're going to fight and argue and namecall. It's to what extent are they fighting that should worry you. Any serious injuries hitting and blood spilt is definitely not good, a possiblily, but not likely to happen. They have times when they get a long and times when they fight, when they're younger one is stronger than the other. When they get older they'll be more mature. . . . obviously
2006-08-13 18:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by doesthissoundfine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over the last 10 years of mothering 3 boys I have consistently encouraged peace through love and chores that required team work and a reward in the end. This system over the years along with family activities that encourage an atmosphere of love and understanding have kept my boys noise down to a low rumble. Hang in there, its over before you know it!
2006-08-13 18:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by Angileque 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age 13, something magical happens. The boys seem to take responsibility for their mistakes. They become young men.
Age 13, something tragic happens. The girls seem to never take responsibility for their mistakes! And they become, um.... um... like strangers.
The good news is, THE GIRLS WILL COME BACK
The bad news is, THE BOYS LEAVE FOREVER
GOD BLESS US MOTHERS!
2006-08-14 01:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i normal 2 have sisters an borther not get along!! cause they have different ages an so on.. different minds!!! so u just have 2 control it by lettin everybodie have watever they want till they grow up!! thts da job of a mom!
2006-08-13 18:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have four and house rules apply that everyone treats everybody else with respect, as they would like to be treated or a privilege is taken away. no mall on the weekends no dates, no TV, no video games. whatever is going to motivate them most... it keeps spats to the bare minimum in my house.
2006-08-13 18:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by rcsanandreas 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋