i have 6 children 5 to my ex n one to my current bf . i have been with him 3 years . he is good with all the kids n they love him . his mum and his sister treat the youngest which is his different to my other kids . they buy him bigger more expensive presents n some times leave my others out all togeter . what should i do .
2006-08-13 10:54:47 · 22 answers · asked by lancaster_hayley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had this problem, I had to have a talk with my second hubbies family and asked politely if they could treat all of my kids the same or I would have to not give my youngest the present they had got.
I have 2 to a first marriage and 1 to a second.
I found it wasn't much of a problem at birthdays I found it more of an issue at Christmas. I told them I would rather they bought them all a small present than buy the youngest a big present and the others a small present or nothing at all.
It seemed to work, I understood why they were doing it but I asked would they like it and they agreed with me it wasn't fair.
Don't argue with them just talk with them and explain how you feel.
All 6 children are yours,
You are asking for all your children's happiness not just your own.
Hope this helps. :)
2006-08-13 11:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and explain your concern I think that if you are in a relationship with someone whom you have a child to then that child and the other children should all be treat the same by all members of the both families. However, I can see if from his parents point of view as well - the youngest child is their grandchild and the others are not - I think that you all need to sit down and discuss this and if nothing is solved then perhaps you should consider therapy
2006-08-13 19:02:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you man is fair to all the children. Do your other children realise the difference in valueof gifts? If they are yooung enough they wont notice, they will apreciate the gift anyway. If they are old enough to notice then they are old enough for you to explain the reasons, gently. Explain that these relative are actually being very kind to them, as they are "babys" gran, and aunt, not theirs. If you can take a positive view of this, it will help your kids. Dont forget, your partner willingly took on someone else's kids, his family had no say in the matter. Do not risk alienating his relatives or you may all lose out. Thamk them sincerely for what they do do. Do not criticise what they fail to do.
Hope this helps.
2006-08-14 06:54:38 · answer #3 · answered by tizzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I couldn't cope with 6 kids!!!! Well done for not going insane!!! Not having kids I can't really be of much help, but as long as your other kids are loved and treated equally at home, perhaps sharing the pressies would help, and not cause barriers between the kids.
Hope you manage that one. my bro and I had much the same situation when my mum remarried. (We both had different dads) She never let us feel that one was better than the other tho other family members did favour one or the other. Sharing made us both feel equal, hope this helps!!!
2006-08-14 10:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by kitten3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it upsets you, you want him to treat them all the same.
I have 3 kids, the first is biologically not my partners and I do think that I look for any signs of him not treating her as his own. Make sure your not doing this before you tell him that it upsets you. If he's decent, he'll understand and tell his family that he doesn't want him to feel different from the rest....because he will after time.
2006-08-13 18:01:58 · answer #5 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're naturally going to spoil him, he's their blood relation.
Its a difficult situation, i think if you spoil one, you should treat the others the same, but 5 others is alot.
Have you voiced your concerns to your relatives? Maybe they don't realise its bothering the other children.
Ask them to stop buying gifts unless they want to treat them all equally.
But in reality, they won't be able to accept the other 5 children.
Just try and put yourself in their shoes, what would you do?
Sorry i'm not much help.
2006-08-13 18:00:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
simply tell him they are all your kids and all a part of you and to favore one over the other will destroy your family, and your relationship with your kids. If he cannot do this, then I think you need to look for someone else who will except your family as a complete unit. This will cause hard feelings from the kids. you need to truely explain that they are all equal in your eyes, and need to be in his and his parents, Don't let this go on or you will tear your kids apart.
2006-08-13 18:01:28 · answer #7 · answered by kerryjonjon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I's say something that as kids its unfair to the others. If they have to give the youngest something then suggest they put it in a savings book because its unfair and upsets the others (furthermore it can cause resentment).
2006-08-13 18:00:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's normal, the baby is their only grandchild. The others don't have to get something every time the youngest does. I don't always buy both my boys something, one time I'll buy the oldest, then the youngest...they take turns. If it bothers you so much, tell the in-laws please don't buy him anything unless you acknowledge the other children, too.
2006-08-13 18:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by Laurie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nan used to hate girls and having 4 grandsons and only 1 grand daughter was easy for her. She used to buy presents for all the boys and not me so my mum used to take all the presents away until she had got my one and then give us all them together
2006-08-15 10:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by Natalie K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋