does anybody know any ways that a selfharmer can stop or minimise there selfharming?

Question

i am a selfharmer and have been doing it for 10 years. recently been in hospital for 40 stitches and 15 staples in my legs. ive had enough of doing it and really want to stop but i dont know how. you may think im stupid and i got some sarcy answers last time but im really desperate please help

Answer 1

Hey i dont think ur stupid trying 2 give up self harm is tough i know im in the process - 3weeks 2day since i last cut its a long hard process and ur going 2 find it difficult i wont lie to you but here are some things that might help - good luck + know some1 cares for you xo

IF YOU FEEL:

angry, frustrated, restless
Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing:
Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock.
Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
Hit a punching bag.
Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
Make Play-Doh or Sculpey or other clay models and cut or smash them.
Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
Break sticks.
Crank up the music and dance.
Clean your room (or your whole house).
Go for a walk/jog/run.
Stomp around in heavy shoes.
Play handball or tennis.

sad, soft, melancholy, depressed, unhappy
Do something slow and soothing, like taking a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles, curling up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow. Do whatever makes you feel taken care of and comforted. Light sweet-smelling incense. Listen to soothing music. Smooth nice body lotion into the parts or yourself you want to hurt. Call a friend and just talk about things that you like. Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend.

craving sensation, feeling depersonalized, dissociating, feeling unreal
Do something that creates a sharp physical sensation:
Squeeze ice hard (this really hurts). (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)
Put a finger into a frozen food (like ice cream) for a minute.
Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root.
Rub liniment under your nose.
Slap a tabletop hard.
Snap your wrist with a rubber band.
Take a cold bath.
Stomp your feet on the ground.
Focus on how it feels to breathe. Notice the way your chest and stomach move with each breath.
[NOTE: Some people report that being online while dissociating increases their sense of unreality; be cautious about logging on in a dissociative state until you know how it affects you.]

wanting focus
Do a task (a computer game like tetris or minesweeper, writing a computer program, needlework, etc) that is exacting and requires focus and concentration.
Eat a raisin mindfully. Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.
Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.
Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it.
Pick a subject and research it on the web.
Try some of the games and distractions at digibeet's page; she's assembled a lot of distractions.

wanting to see blood
Draw on yourself with a red felt-tip pen.
Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

wanting to see scars or pick scabs
Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.

Another thing that helps sometimes is the fifteen-minute game. Tell yourself that if you still want to harm yourself in 15 minutes, you can. When the time is up, see if you can go another 15.

Answer 2

Hi Shaz

I self harmed for many years, I stopped on a regular basis eight years ago, although I still have the odd occasion.
I found that understanding self injury really helped. i dont know if you have read anything on self harm, but there are some good articles out there. One of the big things for me was to understand that it is an addicition, if you look at it like that, then you can slowly wean yourself off of it.
It is as hard as giving up any other addiction, you have to try and understand that feeling that you get immediatly after you have self harmed, with me it was being clean, I needed to address why I didn't feel clean.
Then I needed to replace that with somthing else, for me it was exercise, you get that same feel good feeling and that relaxed feel when you have pushed the boundaries.
Good luck, its a tough road, and you will have hiccups a long the way, don't be tough on yourself.
If you want to contact me feel free.

Answer 3

THOUGHT long and hard about this question as I have come across people who self harm a few times in my long life.. 10 yrs is a long time. Perhaps you can look at how you feel when you want to self harm.. write it down.. I know it sounds odd but listen.. perhaps then the docs will know what is making you feel so bad.. or wanting the release it seems to bring you.. write your darkest thoughts.. don't worry.. no sarcy answers from me.. life is blooming hard enough without that sort of answer.. isn't it? All my thoughts will be with you.. instead of harming try to write it instead.. xxxxxxxxxxx lots of hugs..... LOTS

Answer 4

I try to keep occupied when self harm thoughts start flooding into my head. I sort of promise myself I am allowed to do it when I finish this or that but make sure the task I have set myself will take hours and not minutes. Normally by the time I have finished the task the thoughts are less intrusive.
I also found using an elastic band on my wrist and twanging it instead of cutting helped.
I have managed to not self harm for over a year.

Hope this helps. :)

Answer 5

Hi Shaz, I am assuming you are having some support from trained staff as the hospital should have referred you. If they haven't make sure you get referred as it is difficult to work through this on your own. You don't need me to tell you it is about having control you having the compulsion to harm yourself, I used to, when I was younger, and at times when things really get out of control now, have to stop myself doing it again. Get a kit ready for when you do, clean steri strips, antiseptic wipes etc. I have worked with young people who harm and it can get better over time, usually through counselling from someone who knows what they are doing, identifying triggers and developing new coping strategies. Get support, you are not stupid, I repeat you are not stupid, hurting yes, and need support. Good luck and I wish you well xx Miss Plum

Answer 6

hi. i used to self harm i stopped 7 years ago,,, i started at 12 as i got abused but didnt tell anyone, i felt angry , dissapointed useless alone scared,, i thought self harming was a way out to block my problems .. the thing is hun you fel like they block evrything out at the time and later its no diffrent you still got teh same old story and thoughts so bascally its a waste of time doing it,, you should go for counselling it does help loads i know it scary but after a few vist it gets easier ,, i found out loads of info and other people story's on how to beat self harm on this web site i hope it helps you too http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/stopselfharming
best wishes tgccc ,,, please if u dont already go for counselling or talk to doctor they do help and just try yer best to think about postive things in life beacuse there priceless and ignore the people that wanna hurt you youre worth more then them:) hope it helps

Answer 7

ice cubes when feel the need to hurt and punch a pillow instead of wall or yourself and your bf i was same used my bf has a Punch bag and i can not remember how many times i bust my hand with the wall punching my arms and legs and neck are full of scars and i also gave myself black eyes i count to 10 go for a walk read a book or come on here when feel bad but if you get the twitching like i do on the arms on legs wanting to cut grab some ice it all really works it been over 1 year when last self harmed its hard i know but you can do it also when all your scars have healed get some bio oil to get rid of them

Answer 8

You need to find a 12 step program, really. It may help you and it is seems like it would be better than electro-shock therapy. There are some medications that may work but you need a MD or a psychiatrist to perscribe them. Some antidepressants might work. I hope you are getting professional help for this. Don't let anyone say prayer will solve this, it may help but you need to get professional psychiatric help.

Answer 9

Strong will power always helps.

Surrounding yourself with people who like you for you, with or without the self harming, and want you to stop will help as well.

Self confidence exercises will help, such as getting someone you work with, or something, to pick a 'compliment of the day'. When they see you they say the compliment and you echo it. For example, they say; 'you're a good listener' and you say 'I am a good listener' and so on.

This is particularly useful if its someone you split up from and re-encounter several times a day.

Answer 10

I do not know you, or your life but I am compelled to say this:

You need to face the memories of your childhood so that you can see them in a different way. So that you remember them with different feelings.
Other peoples opinions are not important. All that matters in the end is how you view it.
You know what you do to yourself is not right, and one thing is for sure. It is not your fault.