I had a friend and we crossed the line of friendship. It ruined his relationship with someone else, then he cut me off and blamed me. Now that it is different with him and the other girl he is wanting to act like it's cool between us now. Should I or should I Not settle for 2nd choice? Should I do what he wants?
2006-08-13 09:47:59 · 15 answers · asked by mirror33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would make an educated guess and say that you are alluding to the fact that you had a sexual relationship with this person. I do not know your age, but the whole incidence screams immaturity. A lot of immature men will do just about anything for sex, but they do not value themselves or the other person at all in this occurrence. You must have had some underlying feelings for this person, beyond the friendship; for this crossing of the line to occur. You have to develop a sense of self control for yourself. It is never a good idea to enter into a sexual relationship, if both participants are looking for a much different outcome. You seem to want a "relationship," but I don't see it happening; in this case. You have to do what you want and need, you should not be leading your life by settling for 2nd choice, or doing what he wants. "He" will generally want you to sit on the "back burner" so you can be a sex partner (I guess today's term is booty call...) when he wants. If you want to be just a sex partner, as long as you are protected from pregnancy and disease, that is your choice. If you want to be with a partner who loves, cherishes and most of all RESPECTS YOU then stay away from this "friend." Sorry to be so blunt, but I do not believe anyone wants to be "used." Good luck and have a good day.
2006-08-13 10:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important to be true to yourself and to the situation. What do you think is honestly right for yourself? From someone else's perspective, what has happened may have been something rotten on his or your part; however, from your perspective, it may have helped you personally solve a problem that may have been looming. Ask yourself: do you think this is convenient or do you think it was a mistake?
Additionally, it is important to talk to your friend. Open and honesty is required for all situations and not just in a relationship. Be sincere, and make him know that you want a serious discussion. Tell him of your feelings, ask him about his, and come to a decision that way. Inform him of the problems in your mind and what those problems are to him. Honestly though, if he acts immature after that and is unreasonable to you and your responses, consider not moving further with him. One of the best things to offer in a relationship is respect, but both people need to exercise that quality.
Even if you make the wrong decision, you will have learned a lesson.
2006-08-13 09:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by olea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he wants to blame you, and when there is not a better option, act like things r ok between u 2. Don't let him get away with this. He had a part in his relationship ending, it always takes 2. I wouldn't settle for seconds, if you do, his respect for you may go down, and you may always be a 'second' to him when it comes to relationships. You don't want this friend turning to you, every time a relationship ends, for 'friendly support'...let him know now that you have self-respect and you are not going to be treated this way.
2006-08-13 10:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were 2nd choice the first time around you just pushed and now your regretting the decision you both made and are afraid of being friends again.
2006-08-13 09:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by ragnerokk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would cut him off this time.you should tell him how you feel about the situation. let him come crawling back to you.and make it very very hard. at a piece of advice, "never make someone your priority when your their option" never settle for 2nd best.
2006-08-13 09:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by stressed&depressed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope u are better than he is obviously. He put u through drama and treated u bad. I wouldnt talk to him anymore. It takes two he is obviously not a good friend. Let him go and find a new
2006-08-13 09:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysperfec237 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He disrespected you. It took two to tango and he can't just blame only you and then think things will be fine. You're better than that. Move on.
2006-08-13 09:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never. You are not second choice to anyone. Tell him to take a hike and take the idiot that stuck with him along.
2006-08-13 09:50:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
listen to urself especially ur heart.2nd chance is not bad.remember the good old days and keep aside the bad and terrible days.dont forget,keep old friends and make new ones
2006-08-13 09:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
give him a good slap and then say the friendship is over if he ever makes you feel like shiet again.
2006-08-13 09:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by puzzle55usa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋