Tomorrow is my ex gf birthday. We broke up because of a drug addiction and other problems she has in her life. She still calls me and sends letters to me when she needs to talk. She still cares for me and I as well for her. But we just cant be together because I cant accept her addiction. I support her as I can when she says she wants to get off of the stuff. But I see no end in sight to her addiction yet. Anyway, I dont know if sending her flowers for her birthday would be appropriate. I know she loves them, but I am afraid she might get the wrong idea. I dont want her to think I am wanting her back. I just want her to know that she is a special person and that someone does care about her. Should I send them to her or not? I know if I do it will brighten her day. If I dont and noone gives her anything, she might get depressed and get high on drugs to feel better. Should I?
2006-08-13 09:17:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
DONT Listen to all that other BULL ...
FLOWERS do NOT say I WANT YOU ..... telling her " i want you " says "I want you" . ........ ;)
Flowers are a very nice everyday type occasion deal nowadays, so unless you are going to send her a dozen red roses with a card saying I want you back ... you are in Safe waters buddy ;)
Come on , especially if there is a chance that she might not get anything from anyone else ? Then it would be straight out mean of you ;) not to get her flowers ...
Ohhh and there is also nothing wrong or any kind of double meaning attached to roses ( EXEPTION:RED)....
so go ahead honey , get her a huge bouquet (with roses) and also a card saying " I wish You a happy Birthday, enjoy Your day :)"
That is it , no thinking of you blablabla ... keep the card simple and you are fine ;)
PS: haha No i dont work in the flower business , I Just LOVE getting Flowers ..... ;)
2006-08-13 09:40:49 · answer #1 · answered by Armenianchick1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should send her a platonic card and a small gift, but sending flowers is a touch on the romantic side. Assure her that you are her friend...hey my ex BF sent me a card on my birthday and I took it as a nice gesture. We remain friends and you can not have too many friends. It will brighten her day, but you can not control her actions, or view you are pushing her over the edge. An addict will use whatever reason they WANT to to continue their BAD BEHAVIOR. You are NOT the reason, her addiction is the reason.
2006-08-13 09:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. I don't really know how to answer this so I guess I'll just tell you what I think. I think that you should send them. But I would also send her a letter with them talking about how you really hope she is ready to break her addiction and that if at any time she wants to come to you for help in getting better then you are there for her.
2006-08-13 09:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by izzy k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't send her flowers. But I would make sure to get her something nice. A movie or a book might be a safe route to take. I'd stay away from candy, flowers and stuffed animals, clothing too actually unless it's of some funny catch phrase or something. A movie or a book is something she can enjoy over time, with no hidden messages in it. I think it is very great of you to keep being a support system to her. :)
2006-08-13 09:22:35 · answer #4 · answered by Kendra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll probably get high on drugs either way, because she's sad or because she's happy, it won't matter. How about sending her a very nice 'friendship' card instead of flowers? Or, perhaps you could send her a bouquet and put anonymous as the signature, (not in your handwriting of course). This might cheer her up, but as I said, it probably won't keep her from getting high. She needs professional help.
2006-08-13 09:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by skyeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no... instead, give her something else for her birthday. Flowers say " i want you " and you can't give her that message. Perhaps a better choice would be giving her something like a cd or something else she might want for her birthday. You know her fairly well, I'm guessing, you should be able to pick something a little more neutral
2006-08-13 09:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by vanillafr0st1ng 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sorry if this does not agree with how you feel, however it may send her the wrong signals.
As you say she is your ex and from what it sounds you do not want her back due to her problem. She is not your responsibility anymore, and you need not feel guilty about this. her problem is HER problem, not yours.
Move on with your life, and find someone else.
2006-08-13 09:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohhhhhh send her some. Write her a card giving her encouragement. I can understand you not accepting an addiction, that is the smartest thing you can do.
Being there to encourage her and to be her friend is probably the best thing that you can do for her.
2006-08-13 09:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure that would be very nice of you. Just put a simple note. Something like..."Thinking of you. Hope you're have a great day."
No roses though. Send fresh cut flowers instead.
2006-08-13 09:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by dolphin2253 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont send her roses. send her like a spring boquet of different flowers. just say happy birthday on the card. i know how someone with an addiciton can be. so i say send them
2006-08-13 09:24:11 · answer #10 · answered by Kassie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋