i did sex before my marriage many imes with my boyfriend.we got breakup and now i m getting married to some other guy in few weeks.i fear that he ll come 2 know that i m not a virgin....what should i do so that he does not come to know abou it.....i did sex 4 the last time in jan 2006 n i m getting married in sept....there is a gap of abt 8 mths.....will he come to know abt it or not?????plz gimme few tips....
2006-08-13 09:12:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
be honest, tell him, you can't begin a marriage on lies. If he ever finds out, he'll never trust you again.
2006-08-13 09:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Still Halloween 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't tell him he shouldn't be able to tell. Do you live in the US? I didn't think guys over here cared so much if you're a virgin before getting married unless they're religious and also a virgin. You should go to the doctor and make sure you don't have any STD's because some people don't show symptoms. It would be unfair to give him one. Why are you afraid of him knowing? Will he break up with you if your not a virgin, or will he hurt you? You made a mistake, be faithful to him while you're married and just don't tell him. If he really loves you it shouldn't matter.
2006-08-13 11:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jp83 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
Really good question. First, here's a few important links and articles about this:
http://www.abbys-sexual-health.com/advice/relationships/lying_about_virginity.php
http://www.dearcupid.org/category/virginity
Look at both links. The situation depends on whether you led him to suspect you were a virgin or his attitude about pre-marital sex regardless. I think it is important for him to keep the following in mind:
1. You did not have sex while you were in a relationship with him - you didnt cheat on him.
2. You love him. And he loves you. Unless there is a public health issue, child, or family member & friend involved, this relationship is about you & him - not your past relationships which are OVER!
3. The divorce rate is at or above 50%. If you find someone you care about - that you're friends with -, don't take it lightly. And certainly don't allow sex, religion, or friends be the sole reason for or against a relationship.
If he is not a big enough person to accept YOU, then you NEED to stop this in it's tracks. It will only get worse. And you'll be including in that 50% divorce rate. Be good friends with the person first. Know them. There's nothing wrong with being in a relationship for years until you decide to marry. Know how he reacts to conflicts; how he handles pressure; know the copany he keeps & family; and know if he'll be there good or bad.
http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/index.htm
Best wishes,
Leon S
2006-08-13 09:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by Leon Spencer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you must come from one of those cultures that you must be a virgin when you marry. There is no way your future husband would not know you are not a virgin, theres not way about it unless you go through a surgical procedure where the doctor operates down there, I saw it on TV once, very interesting. But why would anyone want to go through all that? if my man does not accept me for who I am I would not pretend to be something else for no one! But then again it must be your culture.
2006-08-13 10:09:51 · answer #4 · answered by WICCA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think it would be better to be honest with him. Have the two of you talked about your past relationships? If you haven't, and it hasn't /doesn't come up, that's one thing. But, blatantly lying about it...... You know that at some point, the truth will catch up with you. Is being caught in a lie better than admitting your past?
Has he said that he is only interested in you if you are a virgin? You must have other attractive qualities, and obviously he's seen them.
So, if it doesn't come up - that's one thing. Lying, that's another.
2006-08-13 09:21:31 · answer #5 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you're in America...it doesn't really matter. Waiting for marriage is so uncommon here now. But otherwise, I don't know. You'll have to fake your first time and that'll be hard since you said you've already had sex alot...you won't be as tight anymore. Just hope to God he'll be dumb enough to believe your fake show of a first time.
2006-08-13 09:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frist of all, if you are marrying a guy and you haven't told him that you aren't a virgin then you shouldn't be with him. If you can't trust him enough to tell him then why do you want to marry him?
2006-08-13 10:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not fair to start your marriage on a lie, it will haunt you. Best tell your man what you did(that way, the guy you had sex with can't blackmail you either...believe me, it happens;))
2006-08-13 09:20:04 · answer #8 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, he'll know you're not a virgin. That's permanent. Other than that, as long as you haven't had sex while you've been with him, I don't know that he should care.
2006-08-13 09:18:36 · answer #9 · answered by grinningleaf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with him and tell him what you and see what he says to you .. make sure you tell him everything he needs to know ...
2006-08-17 02:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by ~ Passionategirl_31 ~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋