How can I make him see it's my choice who is good enough for me and not his?
2006-08-13 09:11:33 · 18 answers · asked by Lissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is quite common to not feel good enough for the person that you are with. Whenever people come to me with this question, I always ask the one in doubt this. "If you don't feel good enough for them, could you name another person that would then work as hard as you at making sure this person is loved right?" Sometimes this helps, because they see that what the other person needs is their love, not a hero, not someone that is unattainable, but someone that will love them no matter what. Remind him often that you love him, but don't just say that you love him, list a reason why half of the times you say it. Make sure to also tell him on a weekly basis reasons why you respect him and look up to him. Let him see the good he has in him from your perspective. I wish you the best! :)
2006-08-13 09:15:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your BF has self esteem issues. Ask him, why? Is it his past? If so see if he can talk about it. Otherwise he may truely just be looking to get out of the relationship without HURTING YOU. So if he thinks he isn't good enough, you may want to just let him go...he may not be good enough after all.
2006-08-13 09:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always told my girlfriend of the last 2 years how lucky I was that she didn't realize that she could do better than me.
Then she broke up with me, and got together with a fat stupid jacka** who only wants to get in her pants. I thought, I know she can do better than me, but why is she doing worse. (One of my coworkers actually told me he gagged when he found out she got together with him)
Then I realized something: She could get somebody smarter than me, she could get somebody funnier than me, she could get somebody better-looking and stronger than me. But I know that she will never have anybody will treat her better than I did or love her more than I do.
So it really all depends on how you define "good enough". He thinks he's not good enough for you because he thinks so highly of you. You know he won't take you for granted, and will always be happy to have you. If you think he's good enough, that's all that matters.
2006-08-13 09:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. Make it very clear. Say that you can be with who ever you want and you chose him so he needs to stop being so insecure, you're already together... he doesn't need to worry about it anymore. Tell him you appreciate it but he needs to stop because if he wasn't good enough you would move on.
2006-08-13 09:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by fallinghard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him he is insulting you by saying you might be with someone who is not good enough for you!!! That might not help, but just try and point out the things you like in him, not always in one go, but gradually and it might help him feel more comfotable about himself and your decision to be with him... Its kind of nice that he views you so highly....
2006-08-13 09:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by i dont know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know he IS good enough for you, and then tell him if he think's he's not, it'll break your heart if you can't be with him. That'll probably give him the boost he needs to stay with you.
2006-08-13 09:33:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably shouldnt say that its your choice because in that you sort of acknowledege he isnt.
Instead point out his good traits so he can see how good he really is. Examples would be how he treats women, how fun he is, intellegence etc.
2006-08-13 09:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by jacel0731 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats because hes not good enough for you but i am,call me
2006-08-13 09:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by bumpercar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what if he isn't good enough for you.you will miss out on all the great guys that are out there.if he is that insecure about your relationship,maybe you should look to a real man.
2006-08-13 09:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by spocklogical1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on saying that you love him and he is so great and just compliment him and stuff they like to hear that and if ya have to have a talk with him then have one he will understand
2006-08-13 09:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by Sammie Lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋