Another abortion question?

Question

I just asked an abortion question and everyone's been very supportive of the dilemma they think I have.. I didn't mean to imply that I was in this situation myself, I am actually male, and my wife and I use birth control because we are not financially ready to have a child. I am trying to refine my viewpoints on this topic, and I'm just interested in knowing what people feel.

My question: Do parents have a responsibility to be ready emotionally and financially to provide the support a child needs? With an adoption system that is generally very difficult to go through, isn't it less cruel to have an abortion, as early in the pregnancy as possible, if you are unable to support a child?

Supplement: I think that adoption is a difficult process to go through because it was difficult for my grandmother, who kept emotional scars her entire life, and my father, who she adopted. Of course individual experiences may vary, but there's no way to be sure. And while some people are waiting in line to be able to adopt, some children are waiting in line to be adopted. (lack of organization? product of racism? ugly kids? I don't know)

Some people seem to have an attitude that if you don't have as many children as possible, it represents lives which are taken away... to think you may not have existed is just as scary as thinking you will die. As for the very poor having many children... this is something I don't think anyone really understands which requires some studies. The best solution is to help people financially, because they have the right to have children, but when they're not ready, do they have the right not to? and do children have the right to ready parents?

Answer 1

complex question.
I think it is more humane to terminate a pregnancy early on...but only early on. But then agtain, life deserves a chance. a human being needs to be supported...if support isn't there, then what is the point?

You and your wife will make great parents one day, i can tell that.

Answer 2

The answer to both of your questions is NO!
Comments I have for your first question:
I don't beleive that ANY parent would say they were not 100% emotionally or financially ready (minus the "Rockafellers" whom still may not be emotionally ready and feel that if only they could give their two year old their own Rolls Royce things would be better, or maybe 10 Nanny's instead of 8.... get my point?) to have children, simply because before children you have no idea. Children change you and the dinamics of the relationship, but not in a bad way! Reguardless if your 15 or 50 and having your first child, things will come up and you'll say can I handle this. Remember Children are a gift from God according to the Bible, and if God sees you are deserving of this gift accept it, and do your best to glorify him by receiving that gift graciously. That said what about the parents, whom don't graciously accept those gifts (I'm one of those children! ) God has a plan for that child or that child would have never been concived. So at that point we ALL should strive to be a role model for that child in some way, even if it is the best friends goof off parents that is emotionally and financially lacking! Children deserve to be brought into a loving family (husband & wife) and simply loved. I suggest that any couple that has not went though Marriage Counseling seek it before the child is concived. It will help determine the roles that are expected. Honestly, it solves alot of issues that lead to divorce because you and your spouse may not be on the same page when it comes to child rearing. (Best advice I got was to be team leaders together, and to remember that you both have diffrent coaching styles!) I'm 33 with 3 kids, and still feel like I'm 16, I'm unsure, make more mistakes then I would care to admit, but would not change a thing. I am happily married to my Knight in Shining Armore, and love being his wife, and parent partner!
Comments I have about your 2nd question.
Abortion is NOT less cruel! It's a temporary fix, to a life long problem, of hurt and suffering the What if's will haunt the people involved. We are force to beleive that it is a personal desision, but that is a sad lie. Abortion could elimiate the next great leader! There are people financially "ready" (as you say) that can and want to adopt a child!
It's sad really, because most people want "babies" and may not see that the baby stage is over before you know it. That becoming a parent is not a nursey, the shower, and the family's attention, it is a life desision! I live in Africa only for another year, some people I see are so poor you wonder how they even were able to keep a baby alive inside them, yet by God's grace and love, a child is born. They are not ready for this (what i call ) gift, but the children here do smile! Some that really can't - I mean a family of 10 living off of $2 each day -CAN'T take care of their children, or die giving birth because of a simply medical reason, those kids need parents - ready or not, just a grown up (or so called) to help them.
Sop that said, I wish you well, and hope I put a little light into your question.
Be Blessed!

Answer 3

The truth is, you're never completely ready for a child, no matter how financially and emotionally stable you are. It's the hardest job in the world! We may not make a lot of money, but my husband and I are raising a beautiful baby boy with another on the way. You have to take life as it comes to you. Not only that, but the fact that you had the ability to produce life and stopped it before it happened, it's something you will have to live with the rest of your life. It's emotionally draining and you will always be wondering what might have been had you had that child. I would feel better knowing that I had a child and gave it to people who will love it like thier own. Newborn babies have the best chance of recieving a home, and you can even pick out where your baby will go! There is also the option of open adoption. That's where you can go and see the child, kinda like visitation rights for divorced couples. There are so many aspects that you can take on this road. If birth control isn't working for you and she is still getting pregnant and you aren't ready, the fact is you don't need to have sex, at least as often as you do. I personally hope you don't choose abortion as the best option. There are so many other things you can do. Whatever your decision, Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

I believe that parents DO have a responsibility to be ready emotionally and financially to provide for a child.

However, I also realize that many parents are not ready in many ways and yet muddle through.

It is not as if you would commit suicide yourself if you ever found yourself in a situation where you were not financially viable or emotionally able to manage things (although some people would - or would try - this is clearly a poor coping strategy).

In the question of cruelty, I guess it depends on whether you believe abortion to be the termination of a pregnancy or a murder of a human being.

Many poor people who do not have much financial resources have many children. In third world countries, having many children even under adverse conditions would be considered to be an adaptive behavioural mechanism.

Why, then, would a poor person in a western country not have a child?

Answer 5

But doesn't make sense that the child would rather survive? I mean it is in our gen makeup for self-preservation.

I lived a very hard life because my mom didn't want me and didn't believe in abortion. However; it made me stronger. Who are we to play God and when does it stop? There are debates about euthenasia now. Do we stop there or just continue. When this debate first started the proponents swore it would never go to the euthenasia stage. Everybody forgot a general premise though. Respect for life in general and respect for its right to exist. It's not much easier on the mother either that decide to abort. I've assisted a couple through it.

Appologies if I sound cold and calloused; but, this is the way I feel.

Answer 6

If a woman is pregnant, she already IS a parent, whether she is "emotionally and financially" ready or not. The circumstances of her life are never the baby's fault, and the baby never deserves to die. Killing someone is never kind. See:

Photos of Abortions, Including Early 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm

Pain Perception in the Unborn:
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Answer 7

you will NEVER fully be prepared (emotionally, at least) for a newborn baby. it takes your breath away when you first see movement in your wife's womb of what the two of you have created. It is THE MOST beautiful thing. don't be surprised if you tear up. Of course it is our (the parent's responsibility to be able to provide for our children. I have (thankfully) just gratuated from College and am financially stable to have my first baby come December. My husband and I were not emotionally prepared for it, and at first we were not financially prepared either, but we are stabalizing our finances and will be totally prepared when our baby comes into this world.

I can somewhat agree with your statement concerning it being "less cruel" to have the fetus aborted earlier rather than later, and as I said before, I believe in a woman's (couple's) right to choose. This is completely your decision. Of course, you will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. You will always remember the baby that could have been. Even after your first baby is born.

I am not telling you this to give you some wicked guilt trip about your decision...I am telling you this because I have had friends in similar situations and they have cried and confessed to me that they think about the baby that they chose to abort. I hope and pray that the two of you make the decision that is right for you. God bless you both.

Answer 8

It is really your choice what you want to do. A friend of mine got pregnant when she was still in school and chose to have an abortion because it was not the right time for her. She got pregnant again years later and contemplated abortion but decided to have the child. A year later, she says that it was the best decision she ever made. In retrospect she says that she made the right choice both times.

Answer 9

Abortion is a personal choice. People deserve the right to choose what is best for their individual situation. There are all sorts of terrible situations that babies and children continue to be subjected to. In my opinion, yes. Sometimes abortion is less cruel.

Answer 10

yes i think parents have a responsibility to be ready emotionally to provide for the child....financially there is always help you can get if the pregnancy wasnt planned (such as wic, medicaid, etc.) its just better for you and your child if you are actually financially ready for a baby. i got pregnant at 19, in college, no job, living with my (now ex)bf who was emotionally abusive, hardly any food in the house....but i had my baby...made some changes in my life and were ok now and he's 9 months now. And i dont think it would be less cruel to have an abortion bc atleast the child would be able to experience life its self. what would you think if your mother just told you that she almost had an abortion with you bc of financial reasons? wouldnt you thank her for the life that she's given you even if it wasnt the greatest?

Answer 11

i only agree with abortion if there r goin to be severe abnormalities.there r plenty of good contraceptives...if u both use them it would lessen the chance of unwanted pregnacies.there are a lot of childless couples longing for babies...and adoption is a good answer if u happen to fall pregnant.i myself wasn,t ready when i fell pregnant..but had a beautifal daughter and wouldn,t have it any other way now.infact we now have 4 children and r happy..we do struggle financially but it is worth it.